A character in The Oblongs
[Pickles is selling ham buckets. Milo's friends arrive]
Fifty bucks.
Fiddy bones? I ain't got that kind of scratch. I work for a living, lady.
For Milo's little friends, they're on the house.
But they'll cheapen the coolness factor.
Do you want another spanking like last night?
Mom, that wasn't me. That was Dad.
That's none of your business.
Here, take this and go get me 50 buckets and 50 yams!
HAMS, mom! Who would wear a yam?!
How come he got two fruity kisses and I only got one?
It is part of the enigma that is Meelo.
Helga, stop eating your fringe.
You shouldn't have made it out of bacon.
I know about the attitude, but how do I not care about what people think?
Well, I have a great husband and great kids and you all think I'm cool.
Are you saying I should marry Dad?
You just ruined what could have been a very poignant family moment.
Should we hug anyway?
I don't care.
That's my boy.
[about Milo's sports drink, Manic] Looks like pee, tastes like crap!
Maybe we shouldn't say "Tastes like crap."
Milo, these days you need a slick marketing campaign to succeed.
[Grunts] I can't get the locket off. The clasp is covered with fat.
Zaftig! It's covered by zaftig.
[as he and his friends are rolling away] Kiss my butt goodbye! [The ball rolls back to where it started] Um, I'm sorry about that "butt" crack. Buttcrack! I'm on a roll! Get it roll? Um... I'll return the locket now.
[Milo squeezes Helga to get the locket off; the locket snaps off Helga's neck and flies into the sewer]
My locket! It went down the sewers where all the smelly stuff is! [starts crying]
[stuck in the sewer and surrounded by food] Hey guys! Want some Egg Foo Yung?
Helga, you're supposed to be losing weight!
It's not my fault. All this stuff just fell down here. So I'm not Kate Moss. Big deal.
Kate Moss isn't stuck in a sewer.
Oh, I don't know. When you think about it, isn't there no bigger sewer than the world of professional modeling?
[singing; bringing in cake] Happy whatever to whoever, happy whatever to whoever! Mazel Tov!
[tastes the frosting; lurches back in disgust] This cake tastes weird...
Well, we didn't have any chocolate icing, so I used deviled ham instead. Enjoy!
Make a wish!
I wish I was dead...
Milo, if you say it out loud, it won't come true.
Mom, we've got to get Helga out of the sewer! She's not losing weight! She'll have to live down there and get married down there and have kids down there, then her kids will marry each other and have more kids and they'll be hillbillies in the sewer and the banjo playing will drive us insane!
Finally, someone's making sense!
Helga! We've gotta do something, or she's gonna drown!
On the bright side, you've already got the bloating part over with.
[angrily] Thanks. I feel MUCH better.
MILK VS. DEBBIE
Uh, excuse me. It's supposed to say, Milo.
Trust me. "Milk" will get more votes.
I'm sorry, guys. You believed in me and I let you down.
Come on, Milo. We never believed in you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Oblongs pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
The Oblongs · 124 quotes
