Chip quotes from The Oblongs

Biff

[referring to Scottie] What's wrong with him?

Bob

He's a narcoleptic.

Chip

An undercover drug agent?

Bob

Uh, sure, fine. Run.

Bob

Parent-teacher night is two hoots and a sock full of yowzas!

Chip

How do you survive in the world?

Debbie

Like, what's with the dork shoes? [points at Biff and Chip's shoes]

Chip

[angrily] I thought I told you, no more Buster Browns!

Biff

The salesman was putting pressure on me!

Chip

I am so angry with you right now.

Chip

Why does there have to be beautiful people anyway?

Bob

So the people who aren't beautiful will know who to follow. It's all part of God's great plan.

Chip

C'mon let's go do stuff to him!

Biff

Yeah, stuff!

Biff

[to Milo] Hey, where are you going, ass-breath?

Chip

Yeah, ass-breath, cause his breath smells like ass.

We need a new name for our club...

I propose we call ourselves the Knights of Backyardia!*

Chip

I've got a better one, how about the Lame-ass Treehouse Club for Babies?

Biff

Hah, hah, I second that. [both high-five]

Helga

[in a flirty voice] I third it.

Chip

[about Helga] Hey, did you guys know there's a giant tree toad in here?

Helga

[to Chip] I love you! [She lunges herself at Chip, who moves out of the way, and she winds up kissing Milo instead, much to her horror] Ugh! I frenched Milo! Bleck!

I have to go to the bathroom!

Chip

In that case, I'm going into a trace. [stares blankly for a moment, and then passes out]

[to Pickles] Mommy, what's a trance?

Pickles

Oh, it's just something your brothers do to give each other privacy.

[to Biff] I really have to go!

Biff

Number one or number two?

A little bit of both!

Biff

[to the others] Good night, folks. [also goes into a trance, and all three collapse on the floor]

[after being crushed beneath the weight of his brothers] This pressure's not helping....

[to Chip after having his nipples squeezed] Hey, why are you squeezing my boobie?

[to Chip] Are you trying to feel me up?

Chip

What?! No! I was feeling Milo up!

You have no idea how wrong that sounds!

Chip

No, wait, I was trying to score with you!

That's it, I'm leaving.

Wait! Chip says you have a beautiful soul.

Oh! That changes everything! [Courtney and Chip are then making out while Milo watches the movie]

Chip

Dude, you look thrashed.

I didn't get any shut eye. Except for this one, which doesn't count 'cause there's something wrong with me.

Biff

Dude, eating an entire turkey in bed was a great idea.

Chip

Yeah, but won't it make us sleepy?

Biff

Nah, not unless we hear some white noise.