Helga quotes from The Oblongs

Helga

[to Milo] I quit! Injure your own damn self!

Helga

Hey, push that box of cow hooves closer here!

Oh, god yes!

Helga

You're going to leave me, aren't you? Everyone I care about leaves me!! [sobs loudly]

Helga

[about eating wedding cake] I get all my major color food groups. Red, white... mostly white.

Helga

Perfect, I've never felt prettier than with this garbage can on my head. Wow, the irony is even within my grasp.

Helga

Well, well, well! A dog always returns to its vomit... wait a minute.

Helga

[stuck in a sewer pipe] Hello? Is anyone there? I think there's rats in my butt.

Helga

(as other children are making a sand statue around her) I'm going through puberty. Make with the sea weed!

I can't wait to get back to school and resume learning!

Helga

I can't wait 'til you drown in your saliva.

Drowning is my third favorite way to die. But, they are all good.

[pulls a set of keys from his buttocks] Hey, I found my mom's car keys in my butt flaps.

Hip-hip-hello, Helga! Milo sent me!

Helga

He told our secret?! [In a demonic voice, she goes berserk and says something about the devil in Latin]

Finally, we can experience the magic.

Helga

Told you he was gay.

I knew we'd find our way to happiness!!!

Helga

I always knew he was gay.

Helga

Oh my...you're giving me the vapors!

I've smelled your vapors...and that's my cue, SEE YA!

I can't believe people thought that stupid bucket you wore yesterday was cool.

Helga

No one even noticed that I finally shaved my pits.

May I help you?

Uh, could you suggest anything that will take attention away from my buttocks?

A world war?

Helga

HA! You're funny! You're also old.

Soon, you will be dead. Then we dig up your grave and make your corpse do embarrassing things, à la Weekend at Bernie's.