Biff quotes from The Oblongs

Biff

[referring to Scottie] What's wrong with him?

Bob

He's a narcoleptic.

Chip

An undercover drug agent?

Bob

Uh, sure, fine. Run.

Biff

Man, I wish we could eat decent food like this every day.

Pickles

I wish you could too, but that would involve me and the kitchen, and I'm just not seeing it.

But I haven't grown in two years. [points to growth] Well, unless you count this.

Pickles

Hey, if I came up with a few more fashion ideas, I could get enough money to buy the school's stove.

Promise you won't forget about this when the martinis wear off.

Pickles

Oh, kids, they never wear off!

Pickles

Why can't you be like your brother and QUIETLY read pornography?

Biff

I prefer to stay focused on the manliness of sports. Coach always says heart, obedience, motivation, opportunity... H - O - M - O.

That spells 'homo'.

Biff

You don't know how to spell!

Debbie

Like, what's with the dork shoes? [points at Biff and Chip's shoes]

Chip

[angrily] I thought I told you, no more Buster Browns!

Biff

The salesman was putting pressure on me!

Chip

I am so angry with you right now.

Chip

C'mon let's go do stuff to him!

Biff

Yeah, stuff!

Biff

[to Milo] Hey, where are you going, ass-breath?

Chip

Yeah, ass-breath, cause his breath smells like ass.

We need a new name for our club...

I propose we call ourselves the Knights of Backyardia!*

Chip

I've got a better one, how about the Lame-ass Treehouse Club for Babies?

Biff

Hah, hah, I second that. [both high-five]

Helga

[in a flirty voice] I third it.

Chip

[about Helga] Hey, did you guys know there's a giant tree toad in here?

Helga

[to Chip] I love you! [She lunges herself at Chip, who moves out of the way, and she winds up kissing Milo instead, much to her horror] Ugh! I frenched Milo! Bleck!

I have to go to the bathroom!

Chip

In that case, I'm going into a trace. [stares blankly for a moment, and then passes out]

[to Pickles] Mommy, what's a trance?

Pickles

Oh, it's just something your brothers do to give each other privacy.

[to Biff] I really have to go!

Biff

Number one or number two?

A little bit of both!

Biff

[to the others] Good night, folks. [also goes into a trance, and all three collapse on the floor]

[after being crushed beneath the weight of his brothers] This pressure's not helping....

Biff

Dude, eating an entire turkey in bed was a great idea.

Chip

Yeah, but won't it make us sleepy?

Biff

Nah, not unless we hear some white noise.