Teresa Lisbon quotes from The Mentalist

Sometimes you are childishly naive, Teresa.

Lisbon

That might be so, but which side would you rather be on? Childish naivete, or defeated cynicism?

Ouch.

Jane

How'd it go with Volker?

Lisbon

Good. He gave up his DNA just like you said he would. He's behind this, Jane. I know it.

Jane

But?

Lisbon

When the grand jury investigation was dropped, Volker's lawyers had all the evidence and court documents sealed from the case, including Jones' deposition. I think there's something in there that Volker doesn't want us to know. If I could just get my hands on it...

Jane

Well, why can't you?

Lisbon

They're sealed documents, Jane. It's against the law.

Jane

Well, if you want to get Volker, you can't let that stop you.

Lisbon

What do you suggest?

Jane

Well, Ardiles is a Deputy D.A. He's gonna have the deposition.

Lisbon

Ardiles is not gonna stick his neck out for me.

Jane

Well, of course not. He's a smart lawyer. You have to get something on him that will make him help you.

Lisbon

Blackmail the deputy district attorney?

Jane

Sure. Why not?

Lisbon

Well, how could I get dirt on Ardiles?

Jane

Ask yourself this — who makes it their business to know everyone else's?

Lisbon

Hey. Any luck finding the kid?

Jane

Well, we gave his name and his photo to local police, and the FBI's department of missing persons, but it's like finding a needle in a stack of needles.

Lisbon

I heard you talked to his mother.

Jane

Yes. She thinks the worst. Hard not to agree with her. What about you? Burning the midnight oil, I see.

Lisbon

There's gotta be something here.

Jane

Mmh.

Lisbon

Jane, Amanda Shaw was my witness. I gave her my word that I'd protect her, and Volker had her killed.

I'm looking for Agent Lisbon.

Cho

Boss.

Lisbon

What are you doing here?

Such hostility. And here I thought we were mending fences.

Lisbon

Answer the question.

I came to ask you to drop this ridiculous investigation. I hate to see an officer of the law humiliated like this.

Lisbon

Cho, will you show Mr. Volker out of here?

Cho

Gladly.

I'm only looking out for your best interests.

Jane

No, you're not. You want us to think that you're gloating, but you're not. You're afraid.

Afraid?

Jane

Yeah.

Well, this certainly is a strange way of showing it.

Jane

I can see right through you. We were close, searching your offices like that. Too close. You want us to think that you're in control, that you're untouchable. But you're not. You're afraid of us. And you should be.

Lisbon

You think you're so mysterious. I know what you're doing in there.

Jane

Oh, really? What?

Lisbon

You're making a list, trying to figure out who it is that you've met that's Red John.

Jane

Not just met, shaken hands with.

Lisbon

How many people are on that list, anyway?

Jane

A lot.

Lisbon

Good morning. Thank you for the party, it was very thoughtful.

Rigsby

You're welcome.

Lisbon

But I'm never gonna forgive you for that stripper.

Jane

How was the rest of the party?

Lisbon

Torture. Like it can't happen ever ever again.

Jane

Ten years, huh?

Lisbon

More, actually. One year with you counts as two.

Jane

We know that Red John was at Elliston Farm in 1988. That is a huge leap forward, Lisbon. Huge.

Lisbon

How so?

Jane

I recalled all the names of the 2,164 people that I met and shook hands with since Red John murdered my family. I might have missed one or two, but not many. 807 of those names were women. And Red John's probably not a woman. Another 949 were men that I had brief encounters with that I never saw or heard from again. That leaves 408 names. And Elliston Farm will exclude a whole bunch more. I'm getting close, Lisbon. I'm getting very close.

Lisbon

Tell me some of the names. There's gotta be some that are at the top of the list.

Jane

Sure. There's some interesting names.

Lisbon

Well, tell me.

Lisbon

There you are.

Jane

We should come by sometime when there's not a corpse here to meet us.

Jane

Morning.

Lisbon

Good morning! We're gonna be short-staffed for a while. Van Pelt's off to L.A. Thank you.

Jane

Adult education's a beautiful thing. Uh, speaking of which, uh... I've upset the ecosystem of the poker game.

Lisbon

I think you've been spending too much time at the museum. "Upset the ecosystem"?

Jane

Bertram's now a better poker player because of me. The ecosystem has changed. You need to adapt or die.

Lisbon

Who says I need the help?

Jane

Don't try to razzle dazzle me. Money talks.

Lisbon

What do we use for stakes? You can't play poker without stakes.

Jane

Oh, I have that covered. [lining up dinosaur fruit snacks on the table] Herbivores are worth one, carnivores are worth five.

Lisbon

Okay.

Jane

Deal.

Lisbon

What do you got?

Jane

All in.

Lisbon

You're bluffing. I call.

Jane

Really?

Lisbon

Okay, are you cheating?

Jane

No.

Lisbon

Wha—

Jane

I'm gonna smoke you.

Lisbon

How does one person live in a house this big?

Jane

Uh, let me see. By being very rich.

Lisbon

That's not what I meant.

Jane

Ah, you mean morally. Well, we've been called in, so it's likely that whoever lived here paid a hefty price in the end.

Lisbon

This place gives me the creeps.

Jane

Normally I'd be tempted to mock your superstition, but in this case I'm inclined to agree.

Jane

Well, we could get on board and wait.

Lisbon

Not without a warrant, we're not.

Jane

Ugh. Rules are just so... tiresome and boring.

Jane

Uh, Lisbon, I'm sorry, but I think we might have to get back to the crime scene.

Lisbon

Really? That place was so creepy.

Jane

Yes. But I'm worried we might have missed something because of that.

Lisbon

Okay, fine. But no jumping out and yelling "boo" at me or anything like that.

Jane

I mean, seriously, what do you take me for?

Lisbon

I am not going to answer that because I'm a nice person.

Lisbon

What? We followed the evidence.

Jane

You—you did. You... followed the evidence.

Lisbon

Okay. Okay, I was wrong. But we followed the evidence.

Jane

You know what gave me second thoughts about Elise Vogelsong? She read too many murder mystery novels.

Lisbon

There you go. That's not police work. That's guessing.

Jane

You should try it sometime. Now I'm gonna go pursue Red John. Ciao!