Teresa Lisbon quotes from The Mentalist

Her arrest continues to be a priority for Homeland.

Lisbon

I've heard you say that in the past, but you've never said why.

Lorelei Martins is a known associate of Red John. She escaped from prison. She kidnapped your colleague Patrick Jane.

Lisbon

Which are all valid reasons for the CBI to be involved, but Homeland? You deal with terrorists.

We have a wide range of investigative interests.

Lisbon

I have to learn that trick.

Which?

Lisbon

How you speak without saying anything.

Lisbon

Bertram is bringing Homeland into the Lorelai murder. Did you hear me?!

Jane

Yes.

Lisbon

Now that she's killed someone, they're gonna start looking again into her escape.

Jane

That's likely.

Lisbon

Jane. I know you broke her out of prison, and you know I know.

Jane

And I know you know I know.

Lisbon

This is not funny!. If they find out, you could be charged as an accomplice to murder.

Jane

Well, if they find out. They won't, unless, of course, you sing to the coppers.

Lisbon

Which I won't, and that makes me an accomplice to murder as well.

Jane

Well only if you look at it as a very persnickety lawyer.

Lisbon

She tortured someone!

Jane

Yeah. It's—it's horrible, I-I know. But she must have had good reason.

Lisbon

God, can you hear yourself?!

Jane

Yes, I hear myself. Julia Howard must have helped murder Lorelei's sister, must have been there with Red John. Lorelei wouldn’t do this otherwise. I trust her.

Lisbon

Jane... I am your partner, not her. You need to be honest with me.

Jane

I know.

Lisbon

If she contacts you, if you find anything out about her, if you have any insights about the case...

Jane

I will tell you.

Lisbon

You're putting your trust in the mistress of a serial killer. She's playing you.

Jane

Playing me? How?

Lisbon

You're blind. You're involved with her. It's clouding your judgment.

Jane

There's no involvement. I feel nothing for her.

Lisbon

Now you're really lying. I'm gonna make this very simple. I will not be a part of this anymore, and neither will you, if you wanna remain with the team.

Jane

An ultimatum? Someone's playing a little too much poker. I confess. I-I may have some feelings, but if I have crossed any lines, it is not because I like her. I will do anything I can to get to Red John, but you have known that since the start.

Jane

We have to go back to the crime scene.

Lisbon

Why?

Jane

I want a taco.

Jane

Hey, Lisbon.

Lisbon

Where the hell are you? Don't tell me you're at the hospital.

Jane

I'm not at the hospital?

Lisbon

We caught a case. You're needed at the crime scene.

Jane

I'll be there soon.

Lisbon

You're at the hospital, aren't you?

Jane

You told me to tell you I'm not at the hospital. What do you want? Make up your mind.

Lisbon

Get out of there. If Jason Lennon wakes up, and if he talks, and if he knows Red John's identity, Agent Kirkland and Homeland Security are perfectly capable of handling it.

Jane

I disagree.

Lisbon

You're playing with fire.

Jane

There are worse things to play with.

Grace

Sorry. It was a welcome back gift.

Lisbon

Very thoughtful, Wayne.

Rigsby

How did you know it's from me?

Lisbon

I'm a homicide detective.

Jane

Don't you think it's odd Homeland Security's fascination with a California serial killer?

Lisbon

Everything about Bob Kirkland is odd.

Lisbon

Jane, I need you.

Jane

It's nice to be needed. Anything for you, Lisbon.

Lisbon

He has a talk radio show— "Prescription For Love with Buddy Hennings".

Lisbon

What? I've listened to it in my car a few times.

Jane

All right. I'll go talk to Buddy Hennings, the Love Doctor, and you check out the shady bakery.

Lisbon

Van Pelt and Rigsby can handle that. I'll go to the radio station with you.

Jane

Ahh... that's 'cause you're a fan!

Lisbon

I am not! Look, I just think he's a viable lead.

Jane

It's all right, Lisbon. We all have our guilty pleasures.

Lisbon

Hi, we need to speak with Buddy Hennings.

If you want to be on the show, you have to fill out this form and take it to couple's intake.

Lisbon

Oh, we're not a couple. Please.

Jane

What she means is ours is more of a platonic love.

Jane

I have a very exciting assignment for you, Grace.

Van Pelt

You do? Cool, what is it?

Jane

These are for you. Try them on.

Lisbon

Nothing for me?

Jane

Trust me, you wouldn't like them.

Jane

Your brow is furrowed and you have that squinty look in your eye. You want to talk to me about the whole foot fetish thing, but the Catholic schoolgirl in you tells you that it's not necessarily appropriate.

Lisbon

You're right. I don't get it. I can't wrap my head around it.

Jane

I mean, "fetish" is a strong word, but everyone has that thing. It's just... It's human nature.

Lisbon

I don't.

Jane

Oh, come on, Lisbon. Don't deny yourself that freedom. There's definitely something out there that works for you, something that flips your switch. Like turtlenecks.

Lisbon

You're right. It's inappropriate. Good night!

Jane

Turtlenecks it is.

Jane

I'm gonna guess this man was suffering from rheumatoid arthritis.

Lisbon

Well, if you're gonna get in a gunfight, it's best to get in one with an arthritic shooter.

Rigsby

The Tupperware's a clue. Why hide something in Tupperware?

Lisbon

I don't know. Keep it fresh?

Van Pelt

Nothing stays fresh for nine years.

Lisbon

Well, maybe LaRoche needed a box, and the Tupperware was handy.

Rigsby

No. Tupperware's never handy. It's always in the wrong drawer.

Van Pelt

And when you do find it, the lid's always missing.

Rigsby

Right? I hate that.

Lisbon

Why don't you just ask LaRoche what's in the box?

Jane

He's not gonna tell me voluntarily. It's embarrassing to him and deeply personal.

Lisbon

And it's in Tupperware?

Jane

Yes. How could you not want to investigate?