Teresa Lisbon quotes from The Mentalist

Jane

You'll never know.

Lisbon

I'll never know what?

Jane

Whether I engineered the escape and abduction.

Lisbon

Trust me, I know.

Jane

You don't know. You just guess. And you didn't tell your new best friend Kirkland either.

Lisbon

I don't have any evidence, if I did I would put you in cuff myself.

Jane

No you wouldn't.

Lisbon

Try me.

Jane

Hahaha...

Lisbon

What's so funny?

Jane

Nothing. Sorry. All of it's worth it. She told me Red John and I are very much alike. That it's a wonder we weren't best friends from the moment we shook hands.

Lisbon

You've met Red John?

Jane

Yes. He's someone I know.

Jane

Yo, Chip. Front and center.

I'm starting to resent you.

Jane

Good. You a member of a street gang?

No, of course not.

Jane

Really? Did you kill this man?

No, I did not.

Jane

Liar. I can see it in your eyes. Arrest him, Lisbon.

Wait a minute. You can't do that.

Jane

Yeah, I'm just kidding. But next time you come across a dead body, Chip, show a little respect. Thank you.

Lisbon

I'm sorry. Uh, Rigsby, would you interview Mr. McGavin? Thank you. [to Jane] You know what? You can write my name down in that book.

Lisbon

What if you never actually met Red John?

Jane

I haven't just met him, I've shaken hands with him. And she wasn't lying, she didn't realise what she told me.

Lisbon

Am I in that book?

Jane

She said it's a wonder Red John and I didn't become friends. Now what we have, I consider a friendship. So, my friend, you are free and clear.

Lisbon

That's a relief.

Lisbon

Hi, Noah. Listen, we have a sit-

Jane

You know Lisbon I have a great idea. A brilliant idea. Excuse me, one second.

Lisbon

What brilliant idea?

Jane

Well, uhm, there isn't one. I just don't want you to send that kid to a foster home.

Lisbon

I don't have any choice.

Jane

There's always choices.

Lisbon

Okay, like what?

Jane

Let them go home. You don't have to charge her sister yet, do you? Just, just think about it for a while.

Lisbon

She broke the law. I already called the DA and Child Services.

Jane

Just let them go home.

Lisbon

What?

Jane

It's okay. You were talking in your sleep.

Lisbon

I was?

Jane

And drooling a little.

Lisbon

What was I saying?

Jane

Well—Someone's coming.

Lisbon

Jane. You can't obsess like this.

Jane

Obsess? I know that I've met Red John now. Shook his hand. I have what you coppers call a lead.

Lisbon

I think you're obsessing.

Jane

I think this puzzle box is the key. Whatever is in here was important enough to hide, but not valuable enough to put in that safe.

Cho

What do you think it is?

Jane

I don't know yet, it's a puzzle.

Lisbon

Cho, crack it open.

Jane

Oh, no no no no. It's my puzzle. All mine.

Jane

Patrick Jane, consultant. This isn't my boss.

Lisbon

I am Teresa Lisbon and I am his boss.

Lisbon

Who's Olivier Gans?

Jane

Uh, I don't know. Made him up.

Jane

Hi, Lisbon.

Lisbon

I don't know what game you're playing, but I think you're getting carried away with this Olivier Gans thing.

Jane

How so?

Lisbon

I-I just got a call from the vice President of something or other of JG Allen Enterprises. They're up in arms about Gans.

Jane

Really?

Lisbon

They think he's trying to steal Turbo Wolf.

Jane

Well, he hasn't yet, but he might soon. We should meet at his hotel.

Lisbon

The imaginary man has a hotel?

Jane

That's right.

Lisbon

Is this hotel imaginary, too?

Jane

Oh no, very real. It's, uh, the Vista in Clearlake. I'll meet you there in an hour. Bye.

Jane

See that face? That's exactly why I didn't tell you the plan.

Lisbon

It's not a good plan.

Jane

It's not a good plan. It's a good enough plan, and Rigsby's wearing one of those ear thingies. I will talk him through the con. He'll be fine.

Lisbon

What if the killer doesn't show up?

Jane

Then we go back to old-fashioned police work. But this way, we get to enjoy some room service. Please, have a seat.

Rigsby

[under the effects of powerful marijuana] Boss, is it okay if I sit down?

Lisbon

You are sitting down, Risgby.

Lisbon

This is so annoying. I can't find my keys.

Jane

Mm. Did you check your desk?

Lisbon

Of course I—

Lisbon

Hmm.

Lisbon

[triumphantly, to Jane] Oh, here they are. Silly me.

Jane

Mm. You keep a hammer in your desk.

Lisbon

You only think you know everything about me.

Jane

Lisbon, you're distracted and you have an eager gleam in your eye. Either you have a breakthrough in the Volker case, or you're in love. Which is it?

Lisbon

I got Judge Davis to sign the warrant and Van Pelt should be getting Volker's records momentarily.

Jane

I was hoping it was love. You deserve happiness, but I'm glad for you anyway.

Agent Lisbon.

Lisbon

What do you want, Mr. Volker?

Brass tacks. I like that. As I'm sure you're aware, I run a very successful business worth billions of dollars. You wanna know my secret? Transparency. Honesty. Open lines of communication. It's the way I do business.

Lisbon

What's your point?

If you wanted my financial records, all you had to do was ask for them. I got nothing to hide. You found nothing, right?

Lisbon

Why? Is there something you're worried about?

Next time... just ask. You look good. You've been working out.

Lisbon

Get out of my office.

Have a lovely day, Agent Lisbon.