Grace van Pelt quotes from The Mentalist

Van Pelt

Van Pelt. Whoa! Slow down! Uh, uno momento por favor. (Thrusts the phone toward Rigsby) Um...can you? Its the Federales, I think. Something about Jane and a goat?

Grace

Mr. Jane, I have a question regarding your previous career path.

Jane

Fire away.

Grace

When you met with other psychics, real psychics, could they tell you were just pretending?

Jane

There's no such thing as real psychics.

Grace

I beg to differ. My cousin Yolanda is a psychic.

Jane

Your cousin is deluded or dishonest or both.

Rigsby

Hey, steady.

Grace

No, no, he's entitled to his opinion. He's wrong, though. She has power. She can communicate with the other side. I've seen her do it myself.

Jane

She let you speak with someone that's gone, someone that you love and still miss very much. You wanted her power to be real so it was.

Rigsby

You're so sure you're right. Science doesn't know everything.

Grace

Five hundred years ago, radio would have seemed like magic. Five hundred years in the future, it could be totally normal to communicate with the other side.

Jane

The other side?...There is no other side...

Grace

How do you do that?

Jane

Telekinesis.

Cho

He blew on it.

Jane

That is another way to do it.

Grace

Okay do you want this desk or that one over there? I mean that one gets more light so...

Patrick

More light, definitely!

(looks up and says sarcastically) Oh Hi. When did you get here?

Grace

I don't get it. She actually enjoyed helping him kill. One crazy, evil person I understand, but two? Husband and wife? Marriage is suppose to be a sacred, loving thing.

Jane

Yeah, they were soulmates in their strange own way.

Grace

It's gotta be tough.

Lisbon

What?

Grace

I mean, a drunk driver. Isn't that what happened to your mother? [Lisbon stares at her] Sorry. It's not my business.

Lisbon

We don't discuss our personal lives in this unit. It's not useful and it's not professional.

Rigsby

I look around, I don't see anyone here who could torture a man to death with pliers and a lit cigar.

Patrick

Picture them naked and ravenously hungry.

Grace

Ew!

Grace

I don't think it's right to bet on such things. That's a human being that just died!

Rigsby

No, it's okay. We're in Nevada. Here in California, yeah it'd be wrong. [Crosses over to Nevada side.] But here, Nevada. It's okay to gamble on body parts.

Jane

Let's go. I got us a table booked at the best restaurant in town. Apparently they tell you the name of the cow your steak came from.

Grace

That's horrible.

Rigsby

No. We're gonna be talking to the hand for a long while.

Jane

Why so glum? A case is a case.

Rigsby

We're in the middle of nowhere. Windy as all hell. I haven't eaten anything. Dismemberments are a bitch. Spend months assembling the victim, there's always a piece missing.

Jane

There's already plenty to work with right here.

Grace

It's a right hand with the number 43 on it.

Grace

I don't like it.

Rigsby

Me neither. What's the alternative?

Grace

It's immoral.

Rigsby

I don't know about that. Say your brain gets cooked if you use 'em a lot. Make you infertile, too.

Grace

What are you talking about?

Rigsby

Microwaves. What are you talking about?

Grace

The séance this evening!

Rigsby

We were looking at the microwave!

Grace

[Talking about Kristina] Excuse me, but you might consider the possibility that she's actually honestly in touch with something beyond your understanding.

Jane

That would be golf and musical theater of the 30s and 40s.

Jane

Nice to be nice. But if you wanna get ahead in life, sometimes you have to be a bitch. I know you know how.

Van Pelt

Gee, thanks.

Cho

Hey, do you wanna go to work or do you wanna play nurse with King Tut?

Grace

Work. Definitely work.

Grace

[talking about Howie] He's crazy.

Rigsby

Yeah, crazy don't make him innocent. Crazy is what makes people kill other people.