Patrick Jane quotes from The Mentalist

Patrick

He irks me. He's irksome.

Jane

Honestly, it's not as bad as it looks.

Jane

An innocent man would've punched me by now.

Jane

See, the thing is, Flip, Lisbon here is looking at you like you're a pork chop, because you fit the profile. Your life is in chaos, you're lonely, you're depressed, you're addicted to drugs and pornography and a little nuts, to be honest. You're exactly the kind of man that does terrible things to women. But I don't think you did this.

Jane

I want you to look at me, all of you. And listen closely. I'd like you to raise your hand above you heads like this. [He raises his hands and the others do the same] Both hands. You too, sheriff. And you, agent Lisbon. Please. [The sheriff and Lisbon both raise their hands, too] Good. Very good. One of you-- One of you here killed Kara Palmer and abducted Nicole Gilbert. I want that person to lower their right hand now. [Jane lowers his right hand but no one else does] Okay, okay. It usually gets a hit. Forget I even spoke.

Jane

[To Jessica Meier] Your father died protecting you. So in the end he-- he was there for you.

Jane

If I told you about every hunch, you would get very irritated.

Jane

[To Lisbon] Why do we get so hung up on every little law everyone breaks?

Jane

[Sniff, sniff] Uhm, I smell dead people.

Jane

Okay. Got it. Uh, by her own admission, she's either, uh, a channel for the energy of the departed souls or she's involved in this murder. So you got a choice. You can call ghostbusters or we can take this lady downtown.

Jane

It's all about the balance, Grace. Yin - Yang, nice - bitch. A little bit of bitch inside the nice, a little bit of nice inside the bitch.

Jane

Tamzin, the goddess may give you solace and hope and meaning in your life. But she can't protect you from those policemen out there.

Jane

[while talking to Cody's parents] I have a question. It's always bothered me. Why do they call it football? People don't really use their feet much, do they?

Jane

Horrible job you found for yourself, Kathryn. Helping a greedy egotist snatch up beautiful things he has no ability to appreciate.

Jane

[to Arlov] Most successful criminal bosses show a similar profile. Sadistic, violent, but also highly methodical, they're psychologically astute.