The Loud House · Season 1
(Luan has some steak on her face, hoping that it’ll get rid of her pimple.)
Rip Hardcore says that frozen meat reduces swelling for bug bites, so maybe it works for pimples, too.
(Charles comes on the scene and smells the steak, looking for a tasty treat.)
No, Charles! That’s not for you!
(But Charles completely ignores his owner, and chases Luan from left to right, until she trips over the chair, making the steak come off. The dog eats the steak, and Luan’s blemish is still there.)
Jackpot.
You seem so confident and popular. Do you think you can help me, um... figure out how to fit in too?
(enthusiastically) Aww! Of course! (normally) I know all the secrets to social success. (enthusiastically) Everyone is going to LOVE YOU!!! (Meli giggles)
And those pageant judges are going to love, ME!
(Later, at the Loud House, Lola introduces Meli to her bedroom.)
Thanks for having me over, Lola.
My pleasure! I thought we could play my favorite game! (Opens her closet) Fashion makeover!!! (Looks at Meli) Hmm, now don't get me wrong. Love the gray. It's very... European.
Sleep, furry babies in kitty dream land.
With visions of yarn balls and tuna fish cans.
For when you awake, the dawn comes anew...
And morning shall greet you with a bright and happy "mew"!
Hey buddy, I really hope u r coming 2 the dance.
Wear u @ 🐶(dawg)? U r missing all the fun!
Principal Huggins teepee just fell n teh pinch bwl.
[Beat]
Dang auto correct! Toupee! His toupee fell n the punch bowl!
Nah, Flip's a lone wolf. [Howls like a wolf, cracks a spine, yelps and screams] GAH! Cheese and crackers.
[He continues to yelp. Outside the room, Lincoln and his sisters felt terrible.]
You guys, this is all our fault. We should take care of Flip.
(angrily) I can't believe my very own baby sister is trying to steal my place in the spotlight! Look at this ad! (shows Mr. Sprinkles the ad) I know, Mr. Sprinkles! I'm just as horrified as you are!
(Leni enters)
Hey, Lols, can I get my magazine back? I wanna read it on the... (Lola angrily screams and throws the magazine across the room) bus to work.
(waving her arms in anger) AHHHH!!! Sorry, Leni, It's not you. I'm just so frustrated right now.
Awww! Let's talk after I get home! Everyone has to be at the store early to help set up for Reininger's Cutest Kid auditions.
(Lynn Sr. follows the scent to the kitchen. It reveals Luan is making something)
Luana Banana, it's you?
(With a depression look on her face, holding a sandwich on a plate) Oh, hey Dad.
Is that a Monteo Cristo sandwich, on brioche?
Awww! I messed it up! It's supposed to be on bread.
(She throws the bread across the kitchen and Lynn Sr. catches it)
No, brioche IS bread! It's French. Hey, what's the occasion? Wait, this isn't a trick sandwich is it?
(Sighs) No, we've picked electives in school, and I'm locked out with my top two choices. Advanced Punning, and To Hee Hee or Not To Hee Hee, Philosophical Joke in You, and now I'm stuck taking Intro into Cooking. And I can't imagine a more boring class.
(Eating Luan's sandwich) Mmm-hmm, Mmm-hmm, and I can't imagine a more delicious sandwich! Luan, you have some real talent!
Really? I don't know much about food. Comedy is more a bread and butter! (Giggles) Get it?
Lock down the house! Call the cops! File a missing persons report! Mr. Coconuts is officially MIA!
Oh, honey relax. Mr. Coconuts is fine! ...Yeah, I put him into storage.
Huh? Wait! Why would you do that?!
Luan, when I decided to dedicate my life to food, I didn't touch a cowbell for months! Comedy can wait. You need to focus on cooking if you're going to take over the restaurant.
Dad...
Of course, first, you're gonna have to attend the Culinary Institute of Michigan, but someone with your talent should breeze right through.
DAD...!!!
After that, it's on to an apprenticeship. Maybe you can go somewhere fun like Paris. Oh! Or Kansas City! I heard they're doing great stuff with ribs down there.
[Luan growls furiously as her face turns red and steam appears flying out of her ears.]
But after that, you can take over --
I'M NOT TAKING OVER THE RESTAURANT!!!
[She zips away, revealing the steam was coming from the pressure cooker.]
(Appears in front of the screen again) Sorry, Lincoln.
Uh, can I help you, Leni?
I'm supposed to write a novel for English, but Lily's using them all to build a fort.
Freeze, ya bozos!
What are you guys doing in here?
(Mr. Coconuts turns the lights on)
Um, uh... collecting laundry.
(Shines a light on Leni, which it stuns her) Laundry Day was Tuesday! Spill it!
(At the Loud House, Lynn is kicking a soccer ball as Lincoln comes in)
Hey, Lynn- (Gets hit by a ball) Oof!
Oh! Sorry, bro.
(At the car dealers, Rita, Lynn Sr., Lori and Leni look around)
I can't believe our little Lori Lou is buying her very own car for college! (Inhales) It seems like just yesterday you were tootling around on your trike, diaper filled in the brim. (He begins to cry)
(Stops her father) Aww Dad, stop! Seriously, people are looking.
Now remember, sweetie, all you need is something sensible that will get you back in forth from school.
Because you're coming home every weekend, right?
OMgosh! (She and Leni run to something amazing) That is literally the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen!
Hmm, he's cute, but kind of a weird dancer. (Copies the moves as a balloon man)
(Giggles) No, not that! (Gestures to a blue car) That!
[to the viewers] Things are getting crazy around the Loud House this morning. It's my sister Lori's 18th birthday, my sister Leni's 17th birthday, my sister Luna's 16th birthday, my sister Luan's 15th birthday, my sister Lynn's 14th birthday, my sister Lisa's 5th birthday, my sister Lily's 2nd birthday, my friend Clyde's 12th birthday, Mr. and Mr. McBride's birthdays, Bobby's 18th birthday, Principal Huggins' birthday, Cheryl's birthday, Miss Allegra's birthday, Liam's 12th birthday, Rusty's 12th birthday, Stella's 12th birthday, Zach's 12th birthday, Girl Jordan's 12th birthday, and the moment I've been waiting for Mrs. Bernardo's birthday.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Loud House pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
