Daffy Duck quotes from The Looney Tunes Show

What have I always say: don’t involve in your neighbor’s business. Before you know it, their business is your business.

You were the President of New Mexico?!

Strike!

Lt. Riggs doesn't make it! He never sees Barbara again!

(after the credits) Can I interest you in a muffin? I ate half of it. It's not very good!

Don't you know when someone's being dramatic?

(after the end credits) Psst. Hey, you wanna buy a watch?

(after the end credits) I still think Porky is the murderer.

Wait a second. I know what's different about you. You're ten times bigger than you used to be!

I did it! I got us on tomorrow's episode of "Besties!"

How'd you managed that?

There are some things you shouldn't know about me. But you better know everything else.

I'm more concerned with how little you know about me.

I know everything about you. Hit me with some questions. Go ahead.

Alright, what's my favorite color?

Pass.

What time do I go to bed at night?

Pass. Give me something easy.

Fine. When's my birthday?

January... February... Septem... December.... Jul... July! July 1st, July 2nd, July 3rd, July 4th. 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th!

27th.

July 27th! Well happy extremely belated birthday, or happy extremely early birthday.

Fore!

No, dummy! Sixteen seventy-three!

Bugs Bunny. Dumped. I have been their brother; you will never get over it. Let me buy you some golf clubs! Waiter, bring this man your finest set of golf clubs, and charge it to sixteen to seventy-three!

Sixteen to seventy-three? That is my membership number! [comes up to Daffy, angrily, and punches him in the face]

Sounds like she likes you two going out again?

Could you drop that thing on me again?

Name?

DAFFY DUCK.

Crime?

CONTEMPT OF COURT!

Name?

Bugs Bunny.

Crime?

Well, some might say being too good looking. [Bugs poses as he would for a magazine cover while hip music plays] Nah, I'm just kidding. Contempt of court.

Can you keep it down?! I'm trying to sleep!

Well, I'm trying to read, and it's not easy with you tossing and turning.

You think I like having to share a bed with you?

At least in prison we weren't chained together. We had a whole cell to enjoy. Oh, cell block #5!

Well, you're no picnic, either! You think I enjoy listening to you wax nostalgic about your time in jail? Ha! And by the way, a prison nickname doesn't count, if you give it to yourself, dynamite!

You better watch it, Duck, because the fuse just got lit! [flexes his arm with a dynamite stick tattoo; Daffy spits his hand and wipes the tattoo off; gasps] How dare you! No one, and I mean no one, would do something that rude in prison! Now good night, Leopold.

Good night, Randy.

Um... What are you doing?

[Beat] reading a letter.

That's not addressed to you.

Oh? Is that a crime?

Yes! [snatches the letter away then gives him the mail] This is your mail.

Look. [tries to give Mailman the money] here's a twenty-spot if you give me back that letter.

Bribing a governor official is also a crime. [the "twenty-dollar money" is revealed to be a paper with crayons drawn in it.] And is this counterfeit money?!

What?! You're going to tell me that's a crime, too?! [Gets close to his face] Last time I checked, I was living in America. Ooh! Look over there! [attempts to distract the Mailman to grab the letter only for him to get pepper sprayed. He screams in pain as the Mailman drives away.]

SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PEOPLE DO NOT LET ME READ YOUR MAIL?!