[to Cherie] You know... my entire life, people have said that... I would become a psychopath if I didn't learn how to feel. But I wanna know, Cherie, what the fuck is so great about feeling? Because I finally let myself. And I feel like my heart's been completely ripped out.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
IIvan
Do you know what you're looking for, Kit?
No. No, not in the big picture sense that you mean.
IIvan
Then how do you know I can't give it to you?
I had this insane idea that you and I could be together. Because it felt real.
CCherie
It was a delusion.
Then I'm delusional. Because, I swear you felt the same way about me.
[to Bette, sarcastically] Well, thank you for the lessons of the ritual mating habits of the indigenous lesbians. Maybe next week we'll do butch and femme role-play.
[about Ivan] She's madly in love with you, you know.
No, he's not, we're friends, he helps me out with stuff.
That's because she is in love with you, and she wants to be your husband.
Tina... I didn't try to see you or call you until now because I wanted to make sure that I could do what you asked of me. I promise, I'm never going to see Candace again. I'm never going to speak to her again. I'm never ever going to think about her again. I miss you. More than that, I made you. And, I don't think I could live without you. It is completely and totally over.
When did you end it?
This morning. I told her that you were the love of my life and that I didn't know what I was doing and that I must have gone temporarily insane.
Did you tell her in person, or on the phone?
Why does that matter?
Because I drove by the house at 2:00 AM, and your car wasn't there. Did you fuck ALL night before you told her that I was the love of your life this morning?
This coffee tastes like poopie-shit! Where's Marina?
Ariana Huffington is fifty. She's not really your type. She's kinda fancy.
I'm doing her hair, Al, I'm not gonna fuck her.
Oh, okay. 'Cause the old Shane would.
Huh. [Dana joins the table] Well in that case, if she's hot...
[to Dana] Honey, Shane is doing Ariana Huffington.
You're doing Ariana Huffington? She's fifty, Shane!
Her hair.
Ah.
[Shane and Alice are at the Planet talking when they see the annoying Tonya walk in]
Oh, shit.
Oh no, I cannot take Cruella DeVille this morning. Do something... uh... pretend I'm upset.
What? What?
Put your arm around me! Um... I'll just start sobbing, and...
[Shane complies by putting her arm on Alice]
Obviously it'll be a really intimate moment. I mean... no halfway, sensitive person would ever dream of interrupting.
Guys! You guys!
[Tonya sits at their table, completely unaware of their private moment. Alice and Shane make faces, then go back to what they were doing]
This place is falling apart! Did you guys hear what happened to Marina?
[Dana and Tonya have gone to see Dana's parents to get their blessing for the wedding] Sharon... I was engaged once before, I don't know if Dana ever told you.
SFSharon Fairbanks
No, she didn't.
Well... it was with a man. His name was Bayard. He was smart and successful... he was a real estate lawyer. He was totally in love with me. Now, I tried really hard to make that one work. But every night I would wake up in the middle of the night, crying. And one night, Bayard woke up and he found me like that. Do you know what he did?
IFIrwin Fairbanks
Damned if I do.
He got down on one knee, and he said, "Tonya, will you not marry me? Because I know what's in your heart. And I love you too much to make you unhappy. Be true to yourself Tonya. Follow your heart".
[Sharon begins to cry and Dana and Tonya hug her]
How are you?
How were you when your life fell apart?
I was a mess.
That's it. That's me.
Is that Carmen spinning?
Yeah, I hooked her up with Kit.
Aren't you going to go say hi?
[with a forced grin] I did. [at Jenny's look] What?
I don't know, it's just sometimes you remind me of guys I used to date in high school.
[as she approaches Shane across the dance floor] Sorry... excuse me... Shane! Ah! 'kay, I have to tell you something I'm really not s'posed to tell you.
Fight the urge.
But I... But I can't!
Try.
But it's hard!
I know, but try!
[Tina hasn't told Bette about the baby]
I mean, she's GOTTA know. Is she fucking blind?
Did you know that Tina is pregnant?
Yeah. Bette you didn't know? Oh my GOD how did you not know?
Because I am the biggest fucking asshole in the universe, I guess that's how! Because I am just some huge cosmological joke, is what I am!
No you're not. Okay. Tina obviously must have gone out of her way to keep this a secret from you.
She must hate me. She must actually fucking hate me.
No she doesn't hate you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The L Word pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.