Kit Porter quotes from The L Word

Kit

What is wrong with my baby sister to go off and leave her pregnant wife all alone for some crazy-ass bitch to go off on? Bring her on. I wish she would bring her face up in here, that would be the last time. Look at all these women! [sees Lisa] And dude. We... will... kick... ass. [everyone agrees] I mean, what's wrong with her? I'm sure the man has enough sperm for everybody.

Kit

[to Bette, sarcastically] Well, thank you for the lessons of the ritual mating habits of the indigenous lesbians. Maybe next week we'll do butch and femme role-play.

Kit

[about Tina's pregnancy] You're gonna have to be so good. You can't have any more fun, uh-uh!

Tina

I know. No red meat, no additives, no Margaritas, wine, beer... and no Xanax! No matter how stressed-out I get.

Alice

No more smack, no more crack, and no more blow.

Do you know what you're looking for, Kit?

Kit

No. No, not in the big picture sense that you mean.

Then how do you know I can't give it to you?

Bette

[about Ivan] She's madly in love with you, you know.

Kit

No, he's not, we're friends, he helps me out with stuff.

Bette

That's because she is in love with you, and she wants to be your husband.

Kit

What's male inside? What's female inside? Why can't you be the butchest butch in the world and keep your body?

Max

Because I wanna feel whole. I want the outside of me to match the inside of me.

Kit

You'll be giving up the most precious thing in the world.

Max

What? My tits?

Kit

No. Being a woman

Kit

We all been there, one way or another. Once I gave a blow job to a horn player. [Everybody gives Kit a funny look] So I could get a line of cocaine!

Helena

And afterwards? How did you feel?

Kit

High. I was a high 'ho.