Jenny Schecter quotes from The L Word

Jenny

[to Marina] I don't know what to do. [sighs] Every time I look at you, I feel so completely dismantled.

Jenny

[after shooting one of the rednecks with a taser gun] We're not fags, idiot! We're DYKES!

Jenny

[to Tim's wife] You know, before he left me, he gave me a revenge-fuck.

Jenny

[to Shane] You know what? It's the ultimate betrayal. You've broken my heart.

Jenny

[to Marina] What happened between us was a terrible mistake. It is never gonna happen again. I will never see you again. Do you understand that?

Tim

Did you hear what she said?

Marina

Of course I did.

Tim

Tell me when it started.

Marina

It didn't. You saw all there was to see, the beginning and the end.

Jenny

Who are you?

Marina

Someone who cares about you. You'll find that your life is richer, more full of possibilities and choices. I've opened up your world.

Jenny

Fuck you.

Jenny

I never said I was a lesbian.

Annette

So it just... came outta nowhere and bit 'ya on the ass? Just like that? Because I mean, y'know... [turns to Jenny] I love women. Yeah, for companionship, I figure I could do without the company of men entirely. Except, dude... can't get down with the puss. I love a dick.

Jenny

I think I'm bisexual.

Annette

Oh, brother.

Jenny

I do. I really do.

Annette

Jenny. Is this just your way of telling me that you had a huge crush on me in college?

Jenny

Why couldn't I have been born with a trust fund, you know? All I wanna do is just sit at this desk and just write and...

Annette

That's because most people with trust funds aren't tortured enough to write.

Annette

[spying on Marina and Francesca] Twat!

Jenny

No more twat. No more twat for me. Twat gets me into trouble.

Jenny

So, is this a golf tournament?

Alice

Yeah, it's the Kraft-Nabisco Professional Women's Golf Tournament. Otherwise known as the Dinah Shore Weekend.

Jenny

Is she gay?

Alice

No. Dinah Shore's dead.

Alice

Alright, look. Right there. See?

Alice

That's what I call a hundred footer.

Jenny

What's that?

Tina

It means you can tell she's a lesbian from a hundred feet away.

Alice

Is it her hair? Is it her jog bra? Is it her mandles? I don't know!

Tina

Great.

Alice

I can tell she's a lesbo from across a football field.

Jenny

[about manatees] What happened to them, why were they beached?

Well, the, um... the one female was running away from the five males. She stays in heat for a month and the... the bulls spend the entire time smashing into each other, trying to have sex with her then they just kinda ditch her once she's pregnant.

Jenny

Gosh, that sounds like a lot of humans.

If you wanna have dinner sometime... I could tell you everything I know about manatees.

Jenny

I'd like that.

Jenny

How are you?

Bette

How were you when your life fell apart?

Jenny

I was a mess.

Bette

That's it. That's me.

Jenny

Is that Carmen spinning?

Shane

Yeah, I hooked her up with Kit.

Jenny

Aren't you going to go say hi?

Shane

[with a forced grin] I did. [at Jenny's look] What?

Jenny

I don't know, it's just sometimes you remind me of guys I used to date in high school.