Tonya quotes from The L Word

Alice

Ariana Huffington is fifty. She's not really your type. She's kinda fancy.

Shane

I'm doing her hair, Al, I'm not gonna fuck her.

Alice

Oh, okay. 'Cause the old Shane would.

Shane

Huh. [Dana joins the table] Well in that case, if she's hot...

[to Dana] Honey, Shane is doing Ariana Huffington.

Dana

You're doing Ariana Huffington? She's fifty, Shane!

Shane

Her hair.

Dana

Ah.

Shane

Oh, shit.

Alice

Oh no, I cannot take Cruella DeVille this morning. Do something... uh... pretend I'm upset.

Shane

What? What?

Alice

Put your arm around me! Um... I'll just start sobbing, and...

Alice

Obviously it'll be a really intimate moment. I mean... no halfway, sensitive person would ever dream of interrupting.

Guys! You guys!

This place is falling apart! Did you guys hear what happened to Marina?

[Dana and Tonya have gone to see Dana's parents to get their blessing for the wedding] Sharon... I was engaged once before, I don't know if Dana ever told you.

No, she didn't.

Well... it was with a man. His name was Bayard. He was smart and successful... he was a real estate lawyer. He was totally in love with me. Now, I tried really hard to make that one work. But every night I would wake up in the middle of the night, crying. And one night, Bayard woke up and he found me like that. Do you know what he did?

Damned if I do.

He got down on one knee, and he said, "Tonya, will you not marry me? Because I know what's in your heart. And I love you too much to make you unhappy. Be true to yourself Tonya. Follow your heart".