[after telling the story of how her nanny left her] We Southerners don't forget things like that.
It's true. Possum is brain food.
S6 E5Wham, Bam, Thank You, Mammy
JJack
Will I see you again?
Probably not. I will be at the Florida State Women's Prison.
JJack
The one in Jacksonville? They used to come to our dances. Why are you going there?
Murder!
JJack
Ooh...you're gonna meet some great gals.
[in a small voice] Hi, Pussycat.
SAY GOODBYE, OLD WOMAN!
Have a good time?
Do I sound like I had a good time?
How the hell should I know? You're always like this.
Ma, will you stop meddling in my life? I am sick of it! I told you, if I want a date I can find one for myself!
Oh, Dorothy, dear sweet delusional Dorothy.
Blanche, if you don't mind, I'm having a heart to heart with my mother. [turns to Sophia] Now, listen up, you withered old Sicilian monkey!
I don't have to take this! Keep it up, and I'll send you to Shady Pines!
That's where I take you!
Ouch... guess I backed into that one.
S6 E6Feelings
[telling a story about St. Olaf's moodiest plastic surgeon] Dr. Olfnooner did some work on my mom, and do you who she came out looking like? Raymond Massey!
Rose, that's terrible!
Well, that's what I thought when I accused the guy of malpractice and ruined his business. Unfortunately, little did I know...
Know what, Rose?
That was the look she was going for!
I wish men would have breasts, just for one day. Then they'd know what it's like to be judged by some physical trait. I mean, just because I'm built like this, you wouldn't believe how many people think I'm dumb!
Rose, you're too hard on yourself. I know people who think you're dumb over the phone.
FOFather O'Meara
[meeting Blanche] Blanche Devereaux! I've heard quite a bit about you!
All good, I hope.
FOFather O'Meara
I'm sorry, I can't reveal things learned in Confession. But it's nice to match a name up with a face.
Oh, Blanche, you did a pretty good job focusing this for Rose, and for me. I have to admit, you would have made a very good psychologist.
Great idea, pussycat. Give Blanche an office with a couch and a license to charge by the hour.
Oh, a student pays attention, works hard, gets good grades. Does that make him a geek?
KKevin
Uh, no, that makes him a dork. Geek is more like, y'know, somebody with no friends, stays home every Saturday night, nose always buried in a book.
[to Sophia, who is opening her mouth to speak] One word out of you and I cut off your supply of Metamucil.
[signing Kevin's cast] We'll just change this to Miss Zbornak eats shit-ake mushrooms.
A woman has the option to say no. Honey, you weren't given that option. You were given nitrous oxide.
Blanche, when have you ever said "no?"
Did I say there was gonna be a question and answer period after I spoke?
S6 E7Zborn Again
[about Stan] It means that ever since he made a fortune on that baked potato opener, he's been coming onto you like Gang Busters and I don't like it. Not that I've ever actually seen Gang Busters. But I did see Ghostbusters, I didn't like that either. I mean, they couldn't give the black guy one funny line? And how about that sequel!
I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe you have ever read a scientific journal.
[getting up to leave the kitchen] Believe what you want. See if I care. [muttering while opening the door] Hypersexual bitch. [Dorothy looks taken by surprise and Blanche awkwardly swallows her drink. Both look in the door's direction.]
Blanche, I need to talk to you privately.
Okay.
There's this person, someone I've known for quite a while, and lately there seems to be this attraction developing. An attraction I've been trying to deny-- Blanche, what are you doing?
[Blanche immediately gets up out of her chair and backs away in horror]
It's a curse. My beauty's always been a curse. I'm sorry, Dorothy, but like the fatal blossom of the graceful jimson weed, I entice with my fragrance but can provide no succor.
I'm talking about Stanley, you idiot!
Get outta here! Stan has the hots for me?
For me, not you, fatal blossom, for me.
S6 E8How Do You Solve a Problem Like Sophia?
Ma, you actually went to a convent? Why didn't I know that?
Because you're divorced. Technically, in the eyes of the Church, you don't even exist! I spit on you! Unless Sister would like to spit on you first.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.