I never had PMS.
Neither did I. But I had a BMW.
S2 E1End of the Curse
No one in my family has ever seen a psychiatrist... except of course, when they were institutionalized!
[After an emotional Blanche runs into her bedroom, Dorothy and Rose run after her]
She's in there!
Really, Columbo?
[The girls discuss the strangeness of psychiatrists' patients]
Did you see him? Total fruitcake! We're talking serial murderer!
Well, if somebody tries to murder cereal, he should see a psychiatrist. [laughs]
Don't talk for the rest of the afternoon.
Do the minks have to be killed [for fur]?
No, Rose, many women like wearing coats that urinate.
[on menopause] What is the big deal, Blanche? It's nothing. Look at it this way: you don't get cramps once a month. You don't go on eating binges once a month. You don't get crazy once a month.
You just grow a beard.
Don't listen to her, Blanche.
You grow a beard, Dorothy! Believe me, I woke up one morning, I looked like Arafat!
Oh, my GOD!
I never grew a beard!
You never grew brains, either!
It is not a fly, Rose.
Spanish Fly is not a fly?
No.
What is it?
It's a beetle.
Rose': They call it a fly, but it's really a beetle?
Yes.
How do they know it's Spanish?
Because it wears a little sombrero, Rose!
Well why don't they just call it a beetle...Spanish Beetle?
Because they call it Spanish Fly.
Then what do they call their flies?
I DON'T CARE, ROSE!!! Forget it! I don't care! The minks can just sit there and we'll lose all our money! I don't care! Just don't mention Spanish Fly to me ever again!
You're really touchy about these Spanish Flies, aren't you.
S2 E2Ladies of the Evening
[upon learning that she's not invited to see Burt Reynolds with the others] Fine, break an old lady's heart. If you need me I'll be out back with the rest of the garbage!
My God, you're Mr. Burt Reynolds.
BRBurt Reynolds
I sure hope so. If not, I've got the wrong underwear on.
I was booked, fingerprints, mug shots, I'm a known criminal! I'll never be able to go back to my hometown again!
Oh honey, nobody back home's ever gonna find out about this.
Oh yes they will! The St. Olaf Courier-Dispatch is known for its investigative reporting!
You're right, that series they did on oat fungus was an uncompromising piece of journalism.
I get to go with you? I don't have to stay here and get gassed with the termites? Oh Dorothy, you're such a good daughter.
She'll get over it. And even if she doesn't, who cares? We're going to meet Burt Reynolds!
Sophia did you come to bail us out?
No Rose, she's dropping off a manicotti with a file in it.
PPolice Officer
Where are your roommates, Mrs. Petrillo?
They're not here.
MA!!!!
Don't "Ma" me, you cheap floozy!
Ma, you would do this to your own flesh and blood?!
You'll get over it, Dorothy. And if you don't, who cares?! I'm on my way to see Burt Reynolds!
[Sophia walks out of the police station triumphantly clutching the tickets in her hand, while Rose, Blanche and Dorothy cry out to her from their cell]
BRBurt Reynolds
[to Sophia] Which one's the slut?
DRDorothy, Rose, Blanche
I AM!!!
"Other girls who will take their money." Do you know who they think we are?
Waitresses!
No Rose, hookers.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.