I'm her daughter, Dorothy. You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying.
S6 E8How Do You Solve a Problem Like Sophia?
Can you believe what we just heard.
I can't believe anybody would want to be a nun. I mean, "NUN", the word says it.
MSMother Superior
Well Dorothy I bet you love your mother very much.
Well that all depends, what has she done?
MSMother Superior
I think life here is too structured for her.
I don't follow.
MSMother Superior
Your mother is an old stubborn pack mule of a woman who won't follow the rules!
Now I'm with you.
S6 E9Mrs. George Devereaux
[turns around, seductive] Hello... Oh my God, no! [runs around the table and hides behind Dorothy]
All right, so he's not a 10!
GGeorge
Blanche, honey, please!
Oh my God, what in hell? Why do you look like that? I don't believe this!
Blanche! Blanche! Who is this?
If I didn't know better, I would say my dead husband George! [runs out of the restaurant]
George, we've heard so much about you! [extends hand]
SBSonny Bono
[after hearing Blanche's problem] Excuse me, I've had some experience with marital discord myself.
Sonny Bono, get off my lanai!
SBSonny Bono
How many gold records do you have?
LWLyle Waggoner
None. I was never married.
[about Blanche's chance to see her living husband] Tell him you love him. Tell you hate him, I don't care! Just see him before he leaves. Do it for yourself. Do it for all of us who wish we had the chance.
Y'know, usually I feel so empty when I realize George isn't here, but this time it's different.
How?
Well, I don't know. The dream was diff- oh, wait. [smiles] I got to hug him. [gasps] You know how I always wake up before I get to hug George? This time I didn't.
Oh Blanche, that's wonderful!
It was wonderful, Rose.
Goodnight, George.
S6 E10Girls Just Wanna Have Fun...Before They Die
I...I love you. [waits for response; Tony doesn't respond] I said...I love you.
TTony
Thank you.
And you?
TTony
I care for you.
You care for me?
TTony
Yes, very much. I probably should've said that sooner. Oh well, let's get some sleep. [turns off light, Sophia hits him until he turns it back on]
TTony
What?
You care for me? You care for a cat or a dog, or a goat. But I tell you I love you and you tell me you care for me? [gets out of bed]
TTony
Now, Sophia, I--I care for you very much.
I'm going home, don't bother driving me.
TTony
Now Sophia, can't we talk?
Don't even say my name. I reached out for you. If you didn't love me, how the hell could you make love to me?! I never want to see or hear from you again! [storms out of Tony's apartment]
[Rose is excitedly telling the girls about an episode of "The New Lassie"]
Rose, did I mention I cry every Thursday? [looks at watch] At 8:05. [voice breaking] Excuse me! [she leaves the kitchen]
I just got a special delivery letter from St. Olaf! Uh-oh, it's from the Department of Water and Coffee.
Coffee?
No thanks, it makes me jumpy.
Rose, what does the letter say?
You read it, Dorothy. I need both hands to cover my ears in case it's bad news.
[reading] "Dear St. Olafian, I am afraid there's bad news."
[fingers in her ears] What?
[reading] "There's a drought in St. Olaf which threatens the crops."
Oh, no! I'd better send water.
[reading] "Please do not send water. We have found that envelopes leak. Until the rains come, we ask that all citizens be celibate, except for Ulf the Umbrella King; he has suffered enough."
TTony
[in bed with Sophia] Where does a sweet Sicilian girl like you learn how to do those things?
I live with a slut.
TTony
Thank her for me.
[on Tony] Last night I dreamed I was Joan of Arc and he was coming at me with a hose!
Ma, maybe it was just a religious experience dream.
Did he put out the fire?
Three times.
Wow, the seldom-achieved Joan of Arc Fantasy Triple! Sophia, I hate you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.