Steffi, go home. You're not age appropriate for this party. (Carlton puts on duck floatie) I'm going swimming.
“Will Goes a-Courtin” · Season 4
In this episode: Will Smith (4), Philip (3), Carlton Banks (2), Hilary Banks (1), Phil (1)
I'm from West Philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground is where I spend most of my days. I ain't got no fancy court room talk or a law degree from Princeton like my worthy adversary Judge Philip Banks. But what I do have is the truth! (slams palms on table in front of Philip)
Oh, shut up, Will! Your Honor, this man is making a mockery of the entire legal system!
And this man is making a mockery of a finely cut Italian suit!
[Will's version of the pool party]
Do you know how humiliating it is to have a son who can't swim?
[Phil rips off the head of Carlton's inner tube. Carlton runs off sobbing]
Listen, Uncle Phil--
SILENCE! If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you!
SStephanie
[appears] Hello, Mr. Banks--
What's she doing here?
Uncle Phil, s-she wandered over lonely and crying, and I didn't have the heart to turn her away--
HIT THE BRICKS, YOU LITTLE TRAMP! Go on! [Stephanie runs off crying] And tell your mother your father has a girlfriend! [to Will] I'm going back into the house, and when I come out, I want all these freeloading parasites OUTTA HERE! [snarls]
Y-yes, sir! Within the hour!
FIVE MINUTES!
FOUR!
Alright, Will. If that's the way you want it. [walks off, laughing maniacally]
O.K., Miss Banks. You were the former tenant of the aforementioned pool house. Is that correct?
Yes.
O.K., could you please tell us of your experiences there?
Am I under oath?
JJudge
Of course.
Well, Trevor would come over at about 3:00 in the morning and we would...
WPWill, Philip and Carlton
Objection!
(Will gives Philip a handshake)
PPhil
I don't want your hand, I want my rent.
Oh, come on, Uncle Phil. Haven't you learned anything from all of this?
PPhil
Yeah, never rent from relatives.
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