Geoffrey Butler quotes from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Philip

Where'd you last put the insecticide?

Geoffrey

In your soup.

Ashley

I'm sorry. I won't do it again.

Philip

Of course you won't, sweetheart...because you're grounded for the next ten years.

Ashley

Ten years?!

Philip

Or whenever you move out the house, whichever comes first.

Ashley

But that's not fair!

Philip

Tell it to the judge. Oh, That's me. (passes a plant and the chirping stops) I killed the cricket!

Geoffrey

(sarcastic) Ah, what a horrible death!

Philip

[eats what seems to be a cake] Mmm. This fat-free cake isn't bad, Geoffrey.

Geoffrey

Sir, that's a sponge.

Phillip

If you'll excuse me, I think I'll skip dinner. I don't have much of an appetite.

Geoffrey

Should I call 911?

Philip

So, I have an ugly side.

Geoffrey

And you could write "Good Year" on it.

Geoffrey

You rang, Miss Hilary?

Hilary

I have been calling you for fifteen minutes. Didn't you hear me?

Geoffrey

Yes, but I so rarely have a woman scream my name. I was rather enjoying it.

Geoffrey? But you told me your name was Will.

Geoffrey

No, I said I was will-ing.

Geoffrey, what do you think? Who's more desirable?

Geoffrey

It's a tie, you both lose.

That man is on thin ice!

Geoffrey

I'll alert the fish.

Philip

Having a pet is a big responsibility. You have to feed him, clean up after him.

Geoffrey

Just don't expect a thank you.

Will

Hey G, what's up, man? Hey, look, um, (referring to himself) I got this friend, right? You know, he kinda got a little problem. He got these 3 cousins and they all moving on with new and exciting lives and everything.

Geoffrey

Is your friend pensive?

Will

My friend doesn't know what pensive means.