If you'll excuse me, I think I'll skip dinner. I don't have much of an appetite.
Should I call 911?
“Papa's Got a Brand-New Excuse” · Season 4
In this episode: Phillip Banks (3), Will Smith (2), Philip (1), Vivian Banks (1), Geoffrey Butler (1)
Hey, Uncle Phil, that is not cool, man, the way you're dissin' my father like that.
The hell with your father!
Phillip, for God's sake - !
He waltzes in here after fifteen years-
Fourteen.
Oh, excuse me - fourteen years - and acts like nothing has happened! Wake up, Will! This is the same guy who didn't think enough of you to pick up the damn phone!
He made a mistake. I'm sorry that everyone can't be as perfect as you, Uncle Phil, but if I can forgive him, how come you can't?
Because he's not doing this for you. He's doing this for himself. And if you think any differently, then you're a fool!
Hey, hey, just cool it! Just cool down; we can talk about this another time.
You know what, Aunt Viv, ain't even nothing to talk about. I've been waiting for this for a long time - my whole life - and ain't nobody gonna stop me. Come tomorrow, I'm outta here!
Oh, yeah? I don't think so.
Who cares what you think?! YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!
[Phillip is visibly hurt by this statement. Will angrily storms out of the kitchen.]
Sit down.
LLou
I ain't got time for no lecture--
I said sit down, Lou. [Lou sits down on the couch.] You know, Will was doing just fine until you showed up, but now that you're back, you have responsibilities to him.
LLou
Look, we're still gonna take the trip--
Oh, bull! BULL! Will is not a coat that you hang in the closet then pick it up when you're ready to wear it! His life goes on! He's not supposed to be there for you, you're supposed to be there for him!
LLou
[abruptly stands up] YOU GET OFF MY BACK! You think I want this?! IT JUST HAPPENED! Now, when Will was a baby, I was scared and--
CUT THE CRAP, ALL RIGHT?! CUT IT! 'Cuz I've been there! But I didn't run out on my family. I was there every day for them, because that's what a man does.
LLou
FINE, PHILLIP! You win! You're the man! Hey, you a better man than me! You happy?
[Phillip sighs angrily.]
LLou
Now are you gonna tell Will or not?
I'm not going to do your dirty work for you.
[after Lou leaves]
I'm sorry, Will.
You know what? This actually works out better for me. You know, the slimmies of summer come to class wearin' next to nothing, y'know what I'm sayin'?
Will, it's all right to be angry.
Hey, why should I be mad? At least he said goodbye this time. I just wish I hadn't wasted my money buying this stupid present. [pulls a father-son statue from his bag]
I'm sorry. You know, if there was something I can do--
Hey, y'know what, you ain't got to do nothin', Uncle Phil. You know, ain't like I'm still five years old, you know? [getting emotionally charged] Ain't like I'ma be sittin' every night asking my mom: "When's Daddy comin' home," you know? Who needs him? Hey, he wasn't there to teach me how to shoot my first basket, but I learned, didn't I? And I got pretty damn good at it too, didn't I, Uncle Phil?
Yeah, you did.
Got through my first date without him, right? I learned how to drive, I learned how to shave, I learned how to fight without him, I had fourteen great birthdays without him! He never even sent me a damn card! [looks back at where Lou just left] THE HELL WITH HIM!!! ... I didn't need him then, I don't need him now.
[as Will passes him] Will…
No, you know what, Uncle Phil? I'ma get through college without him, I'ma get a great job without him, I'ma marry me a beautiful honey, and I'ma have me a whole bunch of kids - I'ma be a better father than he ever was! And I sure as hell don't need him for that, 'CAUSE THERE AIN'T A DAMN THING HE COULD EVER TEACH ME ABOUT HOW TO LOVE MY KIDS! [pause; breaks down] How come he don't want me, man? [uncle Phil embraces him]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.