Ashley Banks quotes from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Geoffrey

Young Ashley, how does a Mercedes sound?

Ashley

Vroom, vroom?

Geoffrey

Very clever. I'll get you two.

Hilary

Vroom, vroom, vroom!

Geoffrey

Nice try!

Ashley

What happened in here?

Will

We was robbed!

Hilary

Oh, my God! What did they take?!

[all scream] STOP WITH THE DAMN BELL!!!!!

Philip

[sees Ashley with another guy] Hold it. Hold it. Who do we have here?

Ashley

We met at the mall.

Philip

What's your name, son?

This.

Philip

This is a stick with a snake wrapped around it.

It's a symbol. Like Prince?

Philip

Prince Who?

See? That's exactly why fathers ain't allowed at the mall.

What's this thing?

Philip

It's a symbol for GET OUTTA MY HOUSE!!!

Ashley

Come on, Daddy, 10 years? The Menendez boys will be out before I am.

Philip

The Menendez boys were home by their curfew.

Ashley

Why are you guys still up? You're making it really hard for me to sneak in.

Will

Ashley, you know full well if you wanna sneak past Uncle Phil, you don't go through the kitchen.

Will

Ashley, listen to me. Guys are only after two things,-

Ashley

(interrupting) I thought they were only after one thing?

Will

Yeah, but they wanna do it more than once...

Ashley

I'm sorry. I won't do it again.

Philip

Of course you won't, sweetheart...because you're grounded for the next ten years.

Ashley

Ten years?!

Philip

Or whenever you move out the house, whichever comes first.

Ashley

But that's not fair!

Philip

Tell it to the judge. Oh, That's me. (passes a plant and the chirping stops) I killed the cricket!

Geoffrey

(sarcastic) Ah, what a horrible death!

Will

Some guy's going to try to be all over you like cheese on a Big Mac.

Ashley

Well, maybe I like cheese!

Will

How do you know you like something if you've never had it? Please tell me you ain't had no cheese, Ashley.

Ashley

(loudly) No, but if I want to have sex! [people stare at Ashley and Will] I do not need your approval!

Will

It-it's cheese, Ashley.

Will

Uncle Phil, you CANNOT go to the Hotel with that Woman.

Philip

It's just for a little dinner.

Will

Yeah, then dessert, the likes of which even you ain't never seen. Listen, Uncle Phil, Janice is the one that got away, right?

Philip

Yeah.

Will

Well, she ain't get away from me.

Philip

What?

Will

Uncle Phil, I was dropping Wendy off back at the hotel, right? And then you know I'm walking down the hall, and then Mrs. Robertson comes up and she asking me about the quake, so you know I'm going in and telling her and then she slips into something more comfortable. And then she grab these pictures, she's showing pictures of San...San-something, and then, you know, before I knew it, you know: ta-dow.

Philip

Ta-dow?

Will

Taaaaaa-dow.

Philip

Ta-dow. OOOH! YOU SLEPT WITH JANICE!

Ashley

[As her Father] Ashley, go to your room.

Carlton

Oh, I love this!

Ashley

[As her Father] And take Carlton with you.

Carlton

Hey I'm not going anywhere.

Philip

You heard what I said.

Will

For Mother's Day, I got my baby shoes bronzed. (Show's his baby shoes are adult sized)

Ashley

These are your baby shoes?

Will

Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet?

Ashley

No, what?

Will

They be like, damn, you got some big feet.

Will

Hey, Ashley, you didn't tell me that dude blew in your ear.

Philip

Me, either.

Ashley

Uh... I embellished?

Come closer.

Will

Heyyyyyyyy.

That's a fake mustache.

Will

No, it's not!

Yes, it is!

Will

No, it's not!

Look, I don't know who you are, but I'm calling your real parents right now.

Ashley

Will...

Will

It's not!

Ashley

You know something? This is all your fault.

Will

What is that, like the theme of this family? "When in doubt, blame Will."

Carlton

Hey guys. Look what I found.

Ashley

Hey, it's the dummy.

Will

Yeah and he found Safety Guy.