... and that's why the French don't wash.
“Pilot” · Season 1, Episode 1
In this episode: Drew (5), Lewis Kiniski (2), Kate O'Brien (1), Oswald Lee Harvey (1)
[Drew refuses to hire Kate] No! It's even worse than when friends have sex, 'cause at least then you had sex!
What if I have to fire you? And I'm sure I'm gonna have to.
Look, you don't have to fire me. You can kill me, how's that?
Well, that might solve some problems, but, you know, it may create others.
Man, a liquor store with a window on the side where you can buy whiskey, beer, whatever you want, while you're driving. God bless America! Just the thing for that drunk driver who's constantly on the go. Hey, no time to stop at a real bar, I've got things to do today! Places to go, people to hit!
Ask me about my day, I dare you.
Drew, how was your day?
You're not sincere enough.. [Points to Oswald] YOU! Ask me about my day.
Drew, how was your day?
Lousy. It was like the rubber glove part of a physical exam.
[in his carpool] 8:41. You know, Larry, right about now, I got interviews stacking up at the office. Pretty much like you got angry motorists stacked up behind you. You think you could fire up the bullet train here?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Drew Carey Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.