Did you and Pam have a fight?
No, we were just in the neighborhood and...she kicked me out of the car and drove away.
Did you try to get her to wear that thing again?
Yeah.
“Miss Right” · Season 1, Episode 2
In this episode: Drew (6), Lisa (4), Lewis Kiniski (2), Kate O'Brien (2), Oswald Lee Harvey (1)
[referring to the 'thing' from the above quote] I TOLD you women don't think those things are sexy!
Hey, if it's not sexy, how come I had to order it from Mexico?
Excuse me, Mr. Carey?
I'm sorry, my father's Mr. Carey. I'm Mrs. Carey.
Want to smile so I know you're kidding?
Did the pizza I ordered get here yet?
The pizza you ordered at my house? The place where I might not be? The guy who couldn't get a date if dates were magnets and his butt was due north?
Hey, I'm just making small talk. I do that when I'm nervous. What do you do?
Isn't it obvious?
You eat?
Shut up. I sweat.
Wait! I want kids!
Drew, I can't do this for you.
Then I'll have the kids. Look. I have child-bearing hips.
It wouldn't have worked out. Your face is too fat.
Yeah? Well, your calves are too close to your ankles.
Your ears aren't level. [walks away]
[shouting] Yeah, neither are your breasts! [quieter] Did I just say that aloud in front of the entire office?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Drew Carey Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.