How did it go?
We had really great seats. You could almost see the Angel of Death right behind Keith Richards.
“Lewis' Sister” · Season 1, Episode 8
In this episode: Drew (4), Kate O'Brien (3), Lewis Kiniski (1)
[about Drew and Janet] What if it doesn't work out? If she dumps you, it'll make things incredibly awkward. And if you dump her, there'll be nobody to comfort her because everybody will be too busy trying to catch the monkeys that are flying out of my butt.
Don't worry about Drew, he's just a big teddy bear! [Rubs his stomach.]
Kate, don't rub my stomach. How'd you like it if you were in a business meeting and I went over and honked your breasts?
Basketball...is war. To lose...is to die. And last Saturday, we got killed. I am ashamed to be your coach. [throws his hat on the floor] Should we give up? Should we turn in our uniforms? Should we admit we're losers? Or should we stop the lollygagging and start playing some basketball?! Now listen up, ladies... [camera shows that he's coaching a team of girls] ...I'm not doing this for my health. I don't do anything for my health. I'm not doing this because the shorts make me look good. I got better shorts, shorts you'll never see. No, I am doing this for the Winfred-Lauder department store. And if I'm going to be volunteering my time, I want to see some effort! I want to see sweat! I want to see blood! I want to see someone get hurt!
[giving Drew a reason to ask out Janet] You're not seeing anybody.
Please, I'm already using that excuse for not exercising.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Drew Carey Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.