Carlos quotes from The Casagrandes

On to more important matters, decide on a best man yet? [clears throat] Say, "Sergio."

I'm not sure, primo. It's a big responsibility.

Ah, come on, I'm responsible. [almost knocks the lamp off; chuckles] Hey, plus, I'll throw the best bachelor party ever! [hugs his primo, beggingly] Please. Oh, please. Por favor. [whimpers while making sad eyes]

Okay, Sergio, of course you can be my best man.

[does a victory dance] Wahoo! Best man, oh yeah! You heard it! Not Bobby! Not Hector! It's me! I'm the best! In your face.

Now, Sergio, as best man, you have a lot to do tomorrow. You must pose for photos, sign the license, and make a speech.

Mira, the best man must also hold on to las arras. [takes out thirteen gold coins in a sack] These thirteen gold coins have been passed down in our family for generations, and now I am giving them to Paco and Paulina.

Las arras bring the couple good luck and a long marriage.

[takes one of the coins out and bites it, losing a tooth] Wow, real gold. Okay, primo, bachelor party time. Leave everything to me.

[waking up] Ah, best bachelor party ever. [checking his pockets] Still got everything? Let's see: wallet, keys, phone, las arras. [holds up the sack and notices a hole in it; worried] Ah, crackers! [shoos some pigeons away] Scram! Shoo! You've gotta be here somewhere.

[wakes up] What are you looking for, Sergio?

Can't find those gold coins.

[shocked] You lost las arras?! Paco has to give Paulina all 13 gold coins at the wedding, or it's bad luck. If you don't find them, their marriage will be doomed!

[wearing a green sweatshirt with a photo of young Carlota] Mi amor, I decide to remember what to wear. What about this? Much?

Oh, a sweatshirt with little Carlota on it.

Isn't it cute? I made one for all mis bebes. [takes off the sweater and is wearing a matching one with baby CJ, another of baby Carl, and another with Carlitos' ultrasound; takes the ultrasound sweater off and is somehow wearing young Carlota under it]

[chuckles awkwardly] Might be a tad much.

[sighs] I know, you're wright, you're correct. It's just that our day together means so much to me. My baby's growing so fast and she's been so busy lately. Soon she'll be a grown-up with a career and family and my mija won't have time for mama. [starts sobbing, which gets on the sweater] Aye! I soaked Carlota!

Okay, I'm cute, casual and ready to go. What's up with mom?

Nothing. [spins away the tears, and the sweater] Just my morning cry, I'm very excited for our own favorite girl's favorite day.

[enters excitedly] Hola, I'm home! Ho, you guys will never guess what Vito wears to bed! [only sees his family, all super mad at him] What? You already know about the bunny pajamas?

No, Abuelo. This is a convention.

Actually, Carl, the word is "intervention."

Hector, your chisme addiction is embarrassing your family.

Bobby

And making the customers mad.

You're a chismoso. And by that, I mean, you're the biggest gossip in town.

What? [not seeing the problem] I'm not a gossip. Anyway, as I was saying… Vito wears his pajamas with huge bunny ears! [the family grumbles at him; realizes what he's doing] Okay, now I see it. I didn't even know I was doing it. I'm sorry. I never meant any harm.

I know, mi amor, but when you talk about people behind their backs, it can be hurtful.

Ah, you're right. As of today, I am swearing off chisme. Right after I tell you about Mr. Scully's toupee. [snickers, then Ronnie Anne shoves a pillow in his mouth to shut him up]

[squawks] This won't be easy.

Ronnie Anne

Don't worry, Abuelo, we can come by the mercado and help you cut the chisme.

You broke my base!

You broke El Falcón's cape!

This is your fault!

[after doing some sleep walking; whispering] It worked! He's asleep!

[whispering] Finally!

[suddenly hears her mijos screaming and growls, they are about to start wrestling when they feel an extra set of hands, so she pulls them apart; angrily whispering] Are you kidding me?! [holds both of them in front of their baby hermano] If either of you wakes Carlitos… [pulls them away; fiercely with a background of fire] you may get grounded for one month! No, two months!

Mega elote!

[shocked] Who? What? Why?

[wakes up from the crying and sees what he's cuddling] Ugh! Lalo?! [Lalo leaves in a huff]

[sees Carlitos crying, then sees her mijos trying to tiptoe out of the room when they woke him up him and stops them] Hold it right there! That's it! Two of you are grounded!

But…

Mom…!

And why are you dressed as sheep?

I don't even care! No buts, no ands, no ifs, and no sos and ours. Go to your favorite rooms. And I may not hear a peep from one of you for the rest of the afternoon!

This is your fault!

[angrily whispering] Hey! I said, not…a…peep.

[forgetting to whisper] Look at that, Frida! They managed to make up on their own.

Shh!

Whoops. Sorry, Frida. I got too excited.

[angrily] And now, you're grounded! [storms off]

[shocked] Wait, for how long?! [goes after Frida as she goes to his room]

[holding Carlitos as he cries when he crashed into the cake] Mi Bebe!

[angrily to Vito] Ugh, see?! Look what you did! This is why I tried to stop you from coming today! [gives Vito back his phone and wallet]

What? [realizes] Wait a minute. I'm starting to think that you had something to do with my stolen wallet and my scooter getting towed!

Ding, ding, ding! What choice did I have?! I'm sorry, Vito. I don't want you to be the padrino. You're just… too much!

[hurt and heartbroken] Oofa doofa, that hurts. I'll just get out of your hair, then. Here, Carlitos. I know you love turtles and choo-choo trains, so I bought you these toys. I also made you enough meatball puree to last you until you're on solid foods.

[tearfully] Oofa doofa…

[sniffs] Take care of yourself. [leaves, dejected]