[Homelander and Neuman are on Firecracker's talk show]
Welcome to the show, folks. We got a real happy surprise for y’all today. Homelander and Vice President-elect, Victoria Neuman. Bless both your hearts for bein' here.
I’m more than happy to find time for my friend, Homelander.
Yeah, let’s cut the BS. Dakota Bob says he’s gonna pass nutbag anti-Supe laws in his first hundred days.
As his VP…
[Homelander stares menacingly at Neuman for a few moments]
…staunch ally of the super-abled community, I really think that it’s important to…
[laughs] Ally, Victoria? Really? We’re here to tell the truth. So just… tell the truth.
The truth is that the real issue here is lack of representation. And I wanna make sure that you–
Fine, you don’t wanna do it? I’ll do it. Victoria here is a superhero.
[chuckles] Thanks for the compliment. But, like, I think the truth is we all wanna be heroes. But I’m not literally a su–
[Homelander lasers Neuman in the face. Ashley and her Vought assistants are utterly shocked to see Neuman completely unharmed.]
[gasps] Oh, fuck!
It’s all true. Ms. Neuman here has been operating as a secret dagger in the heart of the deep state, standing up to the forces of darkness that wanna sodomize our democracy and our toddlers. But it is time for the great awakening. Where we go one, we go Vought, y’all. We’re gonna take a quick break…
[Cut to Butcher and Mallory watching the interview from the hospital]
Cunt’s out of the bag, innit? Now it gets interesting.
[...]
[to Homelander] Hey! Hey, I worked my whole life to keep that secret!
Well, secrets rot your soul. You’re unburdened. You should thank me.
Sage said–
Fuck Sage. She’s long gone. Listen to me. Listen to me. We are gonna change the world, Vicky. For our kids and their kids. The first super-abled President. And you’re a gal.
I’ll be impeached.
Why would we care?
Because I have to get re-elected in four years.
Says who?
Article Two of the Constitution.
New world, new rules. Now, shut the fuck up and listen! Our fates are connected now. Singer’s as good as dead, and I am the only fucking friend you’ve got left! The train has left the station, gorgeous. And you’re on it.
You’ll have to arrest half your company! Half the country!
[pause] What, you think I didn’t think of that? Of course I thought of that!
Fuck!
Ashley, on me now.
Um, the response on socials has been mixed.
I need you to make a list of anyone within the company that has damaging information on me or The Seven… but mostly me. Anyone with any fucking leverage whatsoever.
Yes.
I need this fucking list yesterday.
Yes, sir.
You're a good girl.
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