What's the matter with you guys? You're gay, and you're probably gay.
I am not gay. I am practical.
TV show quotes
What's the matter with you guys? You're gay, and you're probably gay.
I am not gay. I am practical.
I can't believe I spent all my savings on a magical date with a robot.
Tell me about it. I just bought a condo with a forklift.
Hey, one time I fell in love with a volleyball.
Right. That time you went crazy.
Oh, I forgot about that. I was actually talking a different volleyball.
Like that lady in the Robin Williams documentary.
Like that movie Gravity.
Do you guys know anything about musicals?
Yes. Musicals are a combination of acting, singing, and dancing, that tend to diminish the quality of all three disciplines. People who like them tend to be on the dumb side.
Everything is sung in a musical. It's equal parts inefficient and stupid.
You said that about me once.
And?
You did not save me any bread?
I didn't know that was my job.
I am sleeping with you, so give me what I want. Right now, I want bread.
A lot of people said I shouldn't help rebuild Paris. I was told that you were arrogant, uppity, unappreciative. But you reminded me of someone I love: me.
Did you hear about the helicopter that crashed in a Belgian cemetery?
No.
The rescue teams have found over two hundred and sixty dead people. Why wasn't Jesus born in Belgium?
Why?
God couldn't find three wise men. Have you ever tried Belgian kissing?
Uh, no.
It's like French kissing, but more Flemish.
(singing) They want us gone, what do I care? These Frogs can kiss my derriere.
I'm going to miss this place. Or not. I'm not really in touch with my feelings.
Something here does not smell right.
Might be this. I think of my jar of brassiere wax has turned.
Oh dear lord.
Harry, I remember when you and Jeremy would have sleepovers in those bunk beds. If these walls could talk.
I bet they'd say, "Why so many fart contests?"
So your father, who thinks he's the center of the universe just because he has the power to redirect the orbit of the earth and make the world physically revolve around him, throws his son, who worships him, out on his ass and his son, as always, runs right back to his mother's arms and never stops to think that maybe it's time he grew up, took off his superhero costume, and stopped chasing an empty dream!
Isn't he so much better than Mr. Awesome? With his muscles and his veins popping out of his neck, throbbing with testosterone, just waiting to tear my clothes off and have me right there on the floor--I hate him!
Well, I... better start unpacking. Both my suitcase and everything you just said.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Awesomes pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.