Charmer quotes from The Animals of Farthing Wood

Friendly

(To Vixen) It was silly of Bold to go off like that. But not to worry. You've still got me.

Charmer

And me! And Bold's big and strong for his age!

Friendly

Even if he is disobedient!

Ranger

Hi there.

Charmer

Don't come any closer. I'm on Farthing Land!

Ranger

Would I hurt anything so lovely? What's your name?

Charmer

Charmer.

Ranger

I can see why.

Charmer

What's yours?

Ranger

My friends call me Ranger.

Charmer

Are you Scarfaces son?

Ranger

Sure. Look, don't blame me. I didn't choose my parents, neither did you.

Charmer

I wouldn't have chosen any different.

Ranger

But we don't need to let their quarrel come between us, do we?

Charmer

What do you mean? How can we be friends? We even look different.

Ranger

But we feel the same, don't we?

Charmer

I don't know. You must understand I'm a Farthing fox, I'm bound by the oath.

Ranger

Ah, the oath. I've heard about that. You all swear to protect one another. Well, surely that was just your parents!

Charmer

Once a Farthing fox, always a Farthing fox.

Charmer

You promised you wouldn't tell him!

Friendly

No I didn't!

Charmer

Yes you did!

Fox

SHUT UP! So... we were not to know about this Ranger of yours, hmm?

Charmer

I would have told you myself when the time was right!

Fox

The time could never be right! You and he could never make a match!

Charmer

How can you say that, you haven't even met him!

Fox

I don't need to. You're red, he's blue. What more do you want?

Charmer

We're young. What difference does our colour make?

Owl

If I may intercede Fox, love as we all know is reputed to be blind.

Fox

Never mind all that claptrap! His father and I are at war!

Vixen

(To Charmer) Perhaps your children will bring peace to the two tribes. Please don't drive another of my cubs away Fox.

Fox

Oh, so now we're back to Bold are we?

Vixen

I'm sorry. I only meant don't be too hard on Charmer. You could at least meet her young admirer.

Fox

You're all against me!

Ranger

I may have done something really terrible. Do you have an Adder in your company?

Charmer

Yes, why?

Ranger

Did she kill Bounder?

Charmer

Yes, I'm sorry Ranger. It was meant to be... your father.

Ranger

So it was no accident... my father was right! Bounder's death was part of a plot against us! Well then, I'm glad I told him!

Charmer

What? What did you tell him?

Ranger

I told him where to find your precious snake! (walks off)

Charmer

You told Scarface? Oh no! But Adder saved my mother's life! He musn't hurt her!

Ranger

She would've killed my father!

Ranger

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run away like that.

Charmer

And I was selfish. You were bound to be upset about your father.

Ranger

What hope is there for us?

Charmer

There must be some - My father has agreed to meet you.

Ranger

What?

Charmer

If you'll meet him...

Fox

So you're Scarface's famous son.

Ranger

Not as famous as you sir.

Fox

Flattery will get you nowhere.

Ranger

Sorry, I didn't mean-

Fox

Your own father is famous too. Scarface... I think you honour your father.

Ranger

Yes sir.

Fox

Suppose your father attacked Charmer. Whose side would you fight on?

Charmer

That isn't fair!

Vixen

That is hard Fox.

Fox

It's what he has to face.

Ranger

Sir, I've thought about this a good deal. If it came to an all out scrap between your family and mine, I wouldn't fight against you, but I wouldn't fight for you either.

Fox

Well at least he's honest. I suppose we've got to make do with that.

Charmer

Oh thank you Father!

Fox

You haven't got my blessing. Not yet.

Ranger

Thank you sir. I'll keep my side of the bargain, you can be sure of that!

Fox

It may come to that.

Fox

Bargain? What bargain? I haven't made a bargain with him! Others credit me with more than I deserve.

Vixen

Oh no.

Fox

The famous fox from Farthing Wood? Huh!

Mr Hare

It's strange! Scarface attacking in daylight. You would've thought he'd have waited till night!

Friendly

Hmm. Perhaps he knows something about our watch!

Vixen

What do you mean Friendly?

Friendly

Perhaps he know's Charmer's on duty through the day!

Charmer

That's not fair!

Fox

Friendly, enough! Let's not fight amongst ourselves!

Friendly

She and Ranger are the weak link Father! He's probably told Scarface everything!

Fox

I said ENOUGH!

Fox

So much for your precious Ranger's promise, my girl!

Charmer

What do you mean?

Fox

He's right outside with his father!

Charmer

Oh no, but he can't mean to fight!

Fox

He'll fight. Blood is thicker than water.

Fox

You're too late.

Charmer

Ranger too has had his loss. Adder has killed his father.

Fox

So, someone else did the job for me? Perhaps it's just as well. (to Ranger) Do you still want Charmer to be your mate?

Fox

Then who am I to stand in your way? Perhaps your union will bring peace to both our families. A new beginning for all of us!

Did you win?

Vixen

I think we won, didn't we fox?

Fox

No we didn't win.

Ranger

We did win, we did! The Badgers must have killed fifty rats each! And Adder, and Sinuous, they were magnificent!

Fox

It doesn't matter how many times we attack Bully and his rats, we will never be able to kill enough of them.

Whisper

Oh I'm sure we will.

Charmer

Yes, of course we will. [licks right paw as it's been bitten by rats]

Fox

[shakes head] There's too many of them, and more all the time. Every hole in the forest has a rat's nest in it. Litters of healthy new young, born every few minutes. They grow to fighting size between one full moon and the next. More, more all the time.

Charmer

Adder? Are you all right?

Adder

How many rats have you killed today?

Ranger

Well, none actually.

Adder

None? None!? I've killed a hundred! More! Many More! I've emptied their nests! They killed my Sinuous! And I'll kill all of them, every one!

Ranger

Look, there's the warden!

Bully

What's 'e doin'?

Bully

I said 'e would didn't I? And he 'as, he must think we're stupid! [throws stone at Warden's head]

OWW! That'll show you! [throws stone back at the rats]

Owh! [stone has hit him on the nose]

Get out of my park, you filthy little monsters.

Bully

Wasn't that a good game, eh?

Game? Is it bleeding?

Bully

He was only playing, humans is always playing games. Oi, I'm forgetting, 'e left us poison!

Bully

Any creature what eats that poison, dies dead, foxes, toads, anything what walks, crawls or flies, dies!

The Warden's wasting 'is time, don't 'e know some of us have got immunity, Heheh.

Bully

You! What do you know! You was nothing before I found you, living in a sewer!

Uhhh...

Bully

I brought you here to this lovely park of mine! [realises the overlarge rat is dead] Funny, must 'ave 'ad a weak 'eart.

Toad

I can hear him!

Spike

So can I! Ah!

Charmer

Shall I ask them?

Ranger

Well if you don't I'll spend all day wondering what all this was all about.

Charmer

Toad? We don't mean to interrupt, but what are you and your ratty friend doing?

Spike

It's a game, a very serious game.

Toad

That's right matey! Demanding great intelligence, we have to guess where Mossy Mole will come up!

Spike

He'll come up here!

Toad

Here, This is it! He'll come up here! Any moment!

Spike

[laughs] Here! He'll come up here!

Mossy

Ready or not, here I am! [next to Ranger]

Ranger

Does this mean I win the game?

Mossy

You Win! Ranger's Champion, he wins!

Ranger

I want to hear Toad say it.

Toad

[sighs] You win.

Ranger

[chuckles] That's quite made my day! Ha ha, ha, ha.