Mossy quotes from The Animals of Farthing Wood

Mossy

Badger... Badger... are you alright? Badger!

Badger

Er... Moley! Old friend...

Mossy

I'm not Moley, I'm...

Badger

Time to get up is it? Time to go out in the moonlight to hunt in Farthing Wood.

Mossy

Farthing Wood? Badger, you're dreaming! We're in White Deer Park!

Badger

The moonlight, playing through the leaves of the trees. Light and shade, so you hardly see the black and white coats of my ancestors...

Mossy

Badger? Badger! Badger... it's... it's your old friend Mole.

Badger

Mole? I don't know any moles. Only badgers. My brothers... and sisters. Tired after a night's playing, settling down to sleep.

Mossy

(wailing) No, don't go to sleep Badger! Not yet... not yet! (runs off)

Fox

I don't know... I'm getting proper crusty in my old age aren't I?

Vixen

You're not old. Not yet. All the same, we must all learn from that wise old badger how to grow old gracefully.

Fox

Yeah... an example to all of us. I'll miss him.

Mossy

(sniffs) At least I don't have to pretend to be my father any more...

I wasn't doing anything. Just eating grass on me usual hill. Then suddenly, there (Trey) was, saying "no grazing for hares" to me. "The grass is for the deer to eat and walk on", he says, "and for no-one else!".

He's nuts! Nuts!

Mossy

Mad as a March hare. Ooh, sorry there, Leveret.

Toad

I can hear him!

Spike

So can I! Ah!

Charmer

Shall I ask them?

Ranger

Well if you don't I'll spend all day wondering what all this was all about.

Charmer

Toad? We don't mean to interrupt, but what are you and your ratty friend doing?

Spike

It's a game, a very serious game.

Toad

That's right matey! Demanding great intelligence, we have to guess where Mossy Mole will come up!

Spike

He'll come up here!

Toad

Here, This is it! He'll come up here! Any moment!

Spike

[laughs] Here! He'll come up here!

Mossy

Ready or not, here I am! [next to Ranger]

Ranger

Does this mean I win the game?

Mossy

You Win! Ranger's Champion, he wins!

Ranger

I want to hear Toad say it.

Toad

[sighs] You win.

Ranger

[chuckles] That's quite made my day! Ha ha, ha, ha.

Hurkel

I didn't say you were irritating.

Mossy

Yes, you did!

Hurkel

I just said I find it irritating when you eat worms while sitting on my back. That's not unreasonable, is it, Vixen?

Vixen

Well...

Mossy

You want me to starve, that's it! Has there ever been a more cruel badger?

Hurkel

But I'm kind!

Mossy

Are not!

Shadow

Are those two arguing again?

Vixen

I think so.

Mossy

He's cruel!

Hurkel

Oh... I'm very sorry.

Mossy

Say that you are an unkind, horrible, smelly badger!

Hurkel

Yes, alright, I am.

Mossy

I forgive you! [climbs on Hurkel's back]

Hurkel

Oh, moles...

Fox

[yawns] What about them?

Hurkel

[whispers] They're irritating.

Mossy

I heard that!