NThe Nerd
You know what's really weird? That this game was actually capable of a 4-player mode using an accessory that allows four controllers to be connected to your Nintendo Entertainment System? Now, I can't imagine having four people playing this game. Who's gonna want to play this piece of shit? I'm lucky if I can get one other person! I have a better chance of cloning myself.
[Four Nerds play the game together, yelling things such as "This is fuckin' shit!", "It's diarrhea shit!", "This game is horrible!", "Diarrhea fuck.", "It sucks!", "It's shit!", "It's balls!", "What a piece of shit.", "What a shitload of fuck.", and "What a piece of fuckin' shit."]
Hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait. I just cloned myself. I'm in a dream, I can do whatever I want, so why don't we all just stop playin' this fuckin' game?
So, the hell with that shit.
RNRight Nerd
Yeah, the hell with that... damn shit.
TNTrue Nerd
The hell with that damn... fuckin' shit.
THE HELL WITH THAT GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKIN' BULLSHIT!!!
NThe Nerd
Look, I know this sounds weird, but I've sorta been time-traveling around through AVGN history.
Yeah. That's weird. We've never seen anything weird before.
RNRight Nerd
[with an idiotic smile] Audio Video Graphic Network!
[sarcastically] A VaGiNa.
[2016 Nerd just facepalms in annoyance.]
2N2006 Nerd
So what time did you come from?
2N2016 Nerd
From ten years into the future.
2N2006 Nerd
That's nice. Could you have picked a more confusing time to show up?
[sarcastically] Not confusing at all. Time-traveling back into a dream, that happens all the time! MAKES PERFECT FUCKING SENSE!
2N2016 Nerd
All right, now look, I could tell you that Freddy's around the corner and he's waiting to kill all you, [Freddy's shadow gets annoyed, gives the middle finger, and walks away] but I'm gonna show you how much worse things could get. [shows the PlayStation Disc] Here is Mega Man Legends, on PlayStation.
2N2006 Nerd
PlayStation? We're the Angry Nintendo Nerd!
2N2016 Nerd
THEN CHANGE THE FUCKING NAME! It's about time!
How about Angry Nintendo Commentator?
[2016 Nerd facepalms]
RNRight Nerd
How about Retro Nostalgic Video Gaming Shit Seeker?
2N2006 Nerd
How about Nostalgia Critic?
2N2016 Nerd
[in disagreement, as if saying, "That's not gonna happen."] Now that's fucking stupid.
How about "Angry Video Game Nerd"?
[The Nerds agree on the name]
RNRight Nerd
Yeah, that's good.
MNMiddle Nerd
I agree with that.
[Mega Man walks toward a magazine rack]
NThe Nerd
"There're some dirty magazines on the racks..."?
[The Nerds have shocked looks on their faces, and they start laughing]
NThe Nerd
"It might be fun to look at--"
[The Nerds all exclaim things such as "WHAT?!" and "OH, MAN!" and "OH, MY GOD!" and having various looks on their faces, ranging from disgusted to laughing.]
MEGA MAN'S LOOKING AT PORN!
2N2006 Nerd
My life is complete!
RNRight Nerd
[laughing] Mega Man X. more like Mega Man XXX.
2N2016 Nerd
Well, anyway, this guy's gotta take a shit, so take out that Nightmare on Elm Street cartridge and empty your ass all over it.
[in embarrassment] I wish you would've said that earlier.
[The other Nerds smell, gag and hold their nose after knowing Back Nerd defecated his pants.]
The Angry Video Game Nerd · 789 quotes
