Scenes with Gumball 87
GGumball
(sighs) Come on, just say it.
GGumball
Well, I lost all my money, all my friends, and my girlfriend, so you were right to take that curse seriously. Come on, just say "I told you so."
I don't know what you take me for, but I get no pleasure out of this. (reaching the house) Let's just hope our family is still there.
[Gumball slowly opens the door]
GGumball
(nervously) Hello? Mom? Dad?
(closes door) Told you so.
GGumball
(slapping Darwin) STOP, YOU'RE BEING HYSTERICAL!!!
[Darwin slaps him back. Gumball also slaps back. They both keep slapping each other quickly before stopping]
GGumball
Okay, let's stop. This isn't very constructive.
Exactly! We're doing this my way now. We're getting help--magical help.
Why don't we just use the book to defend ourselves?
(The Snatcher emerges, and Gumball hits him with the Forbidden Book to distract him.)
No, I mean use the spells inside!
Don't! The price to pay is too high!
GGumball
Oh, we don't have a choice! (opens the book) There, a time-traveling spell. Let's just go through the night! Tempus future!
(The spell speeds up the time flow to dawn.)
GGumball
Haha! In your (suddenly turns old) faaaaace....
(Gumball walks to the microwave to see his elderly state.)
GGumball
Agh! What happened?? (Carrie pulls him away before the Snatcher could catch him.)
The price for that spell was your youth.
Don't worry! There must be a spell to fix that. Here we are! Beauteus aeterna!
(Gumball magically gets a facelift to fix his elderly face)
(The Snatcher appears again)
(Darwin gasps, but he suddenly shatters apart!)
The price for eternal beauty is his life!
GGumball
What?! (opens the book and finds a revival spell) Resurrectum mortis!
(Darwin is subsequently revived, but with Frankenstein-esque characteristics. The Snatcher attempts to grab him, but flees from the sun.)
Alright, enough chitchat. Help me up! I don't wanna break a leg before my hot date.
[The kids try to lift her out, but she is surprisingly heavy]
GGumball
What the weight?! How can someone so small be so heavy?
Well, I have two metal hips, one orthopedic shoe, six gold teeth, a plate in my head and an industrial-strength pacemaker. I've got so much metal in me, I'm legally classified as a motor vehicle. Anyway, where's the rope?
[The kids look back to see the rope gone.]
GGumball
(to Anais) Didn't I tell you to tie the end to something?
(to Darwin) Didn't I tell you to tie the end to something??
(to no one) Didn't I tell you to--
GGumball
Oh, wait. Sorry. My bad. I didn't tell anyone to tie it.
(sighs) We need another plan.
GGumball
Uh, what do you want?!
SMr. Small
(through intercom) This is our territory, and YOU are now our prey...
GGumball
What?! are you planning to eat us?!
SMr. Small
Yes. I ran out of tofu and soy milk. Say, you guys aren't on any antibiotics, are you? If I have to eat meat, I want it to be organic.
GGumball
Are you serious?!
SMr. Small
I'm sorry, but it's survival of the fittest.
Good! Then you won't mind me doing this.
GDGumball, Darwin, Anais, Nicole and Richard
YEAAAAAAAAAH!
Why are you guys here? And why are you dressed like that?
GGumball
Because, it's the apocalypse, and because… well, it-it's the apocalypse!
Society collapsed as soon as you resigned!
But that was only twenty minutes ago.
(An explosion occurs from far away.)
GGumball
Yeah, and that's all the time it took for us to realize our mistake. We need to be reminded of how precious you are, so this is for you, Gary. (gives some money)
A $100 bill... Thank you.
GGumball
Yeah, don't get too excited. Without you, there's no business, since nothing was being bought, which has ruined the economy and forced up inflation. This $100 bill could possibly get you as much as a rat burger and a kick in the teeth.
But, still, it came from the heart...but in that case, this pizza now costs $9,000.
Is it alright if I write you a roadkill check?
Yes! We now also accept payment in uranium, antibiotics and melee weapons.
(At the Watterson house...)
GDGumball and Darwin
BREAKFAST!!! (banging table) BREAKFAST!!! (banging table) BREAK--!
(Nicole slams down a cereal box.)
GGumball
What the what is this? It looks like medieval prison food.
It's cereal - real cereal.
What's wrong with Smashmallows?
I read the back of the box. This is so unhealthy that by the time you guys turn 13, your double chins will be touching your cankles.
GGumball
Well, at least the mascot doesn't look like a cowboy goat with high blood pressure.
Please, Mrs. Mom. This cereal is so bleak, that if it were a movie, it would be Danish.
I'm sorry, but the Smashmallows are going in the trash, and that's that.
(Their question still left unanswered, Gumball and Darwin mope through the neighborhood, until Gumball rolls over from his sulking.)
GGumball
Why isn't anyone able to answer our question?! TELL ME, UNIVERSE -- WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE??!
(In the bowels of space..)
UUranus
Quick! I think someone is in need of a cosmic answer.
MMars
Let's explain the meaning of his pitiful existence in the form of a feel-good song.
(And so...)
So, when you think you've got a problem and your life is full of doubt
Remember, in the scheme of things, your
Puny, little, tiny, weeny,
Meager, futile, worthless, teeny,
Boring, foolish, pointless, minimal,
Wretched, bleak, obsolete, abysmal
LIFE JUST DOES NOT COUNT!!
(Back on Earth, Gumball and Darwin watch the sun, in their perspective, distortedly hum to the song.)
What the--? What's up with that?
GGumball
I don't know, but the joke's on them. By the time they finish their smug little song, the sun would've collapsed under its own mass and exploded, so, pbht!
[in the library, Gumball attempts to ruin Alan's social page on ElmorePlus unnoticed while Darwin watches beside him]
GGumball
Right. What status update will ruin his life? Ohh, I know. [starts typing text out loud] "Oh my gosh, why are there so many drawn people in Elmore?!! Go back to your flat country and stop ruining our economy!" [hits send button; talks to Darwin] Nobody likes a 2D-ist.
[the status update immediately receives countless thumbs-down icons that the screen overwhelms Alan's social page. Alan returns while Gumball plays dumb]
GGumball
Oh, Alan! So, did you help 'em?
Everyone was okay, but I made them even more okay!
[Alan's face gets pummelled by multiple thumbs-down icons being launched from the computer]
[floats up, traumatized] WHAT HAPPENED?!!
GGumball
I just assassinated your social life. What are you gonna do about it?
[Alan snaps to a furious face as he floats menacingly near Gumball. But he kisses Gumball, and pulls his "saintly" face]
Thank you. Now I get a chance to befriend them all again. [Gumball thunders angrily as Alan floats away]
GGumball
I WILL BREAK YOU, MAN!!! NO-ONE'S THIS NICE!! NO-ONE!! BECAUSE IF THEY WERE, I'D HAVE TO ASK SOME VERY DIFFICULT QUESTIONS ABOUT MYSELF!!
Alan: AAH! Can you please stop making that noise?!
AAlan​​​​
Dragging your feet! It's grating!
GGumball
Oh, but I don't understand. You mean this? [Squeaks floor]
Alan: [Yells] STOP IT, YOU JERK!
GGumball
YES! Ha ha! I finally dragged you down to my level! I knew you could be broken! Oh, I feel so much better about myself. I gotta go tell Darwin!
[Gumball runs off, and Alan screams in rage. Then Alan calms down, smiles, and makes his saintly face again]
AAlan​​​​
[Whispering] Whatever makes you happy, my friend.
(Gumball puts up a chair to protect him and Darwin from the exploding balloons.)
GGumball
Hang in there, buddy. We're almost there!
(Anais then bursts out of the shed, holding a 2-liter cola bottle.)
Not so fast, boys! (cowboy accent) I drop this unbranded mint into this here unbranded cola, it'll give me enough firepower to blast you through that darn fence!
GGumball
(cowboy accent) What are you gonna do with all them cupcakes? There's one of you and there's two of us.
They're for my friends only. I don't want you there eating everything and weirding them out. Just give up, and that'll be the end of it. Otherwise--
GGumball
Alright! We surrender... (normal voice) Oh, look! Your friends are here!
(Gumball and Darwin immediately gorge on the cupcakes, but they stop, twitching their eyes until their faces contort from the taste.)
GGumball
These aren't cupcakes. They're lemons! And the icing is baking soda!
(The chemical reaction from the baking soda and lemon juice causes fizzy bubbles to burst from the boys' eyes and mouths.)
The real stuff is in the shed.
(Anais drops the mint into the cola and blasts the boys through the fence with the cola cannon.)
[Darwin draws a watch onto his wrist. Seeing the time, he gasps before rushing to the room]
Wake up! We're gonna be late for school!
GGumball
(sighs) I'll get up when the alarm goes off.
But you've already pressed the snooze button!
GGumball
That was five minutes ago.
That was an hour ago! Snooze time goes faster than regular time.
GGumball
(sighs) I just found the perfect position.
[Darwin pulls the cover off, revealing Gumball in a potentially bone-breaking position]
Dude, it looks like you fell from the seventh floor.
GGumball
Come on, just another minute.
[carrying Gumball] No, we're already late! See?
[Outside, the bus drives away, causing the boys to panic]
GGumball
Okay, all we need to do is set the clock back to "0", and everything will be fine. Spin it!
[Darwin spins the clock, sending the boys through time. They stop in a dystopian future]
GGumball
Uh, dude, I think you spun it too far...
[An explosion occurs]
GGumball
Let's go back a little.
[Gumball spins the clock again, this time sending them to space--the exact moment it was created via the Big Bang]
GGumball
(silently, via subtitles): [That was a big bang!] (To Darwin) [Too far back?]
[Darwin nods. Gumball spins the clock again.]
We need to hide! He could be anywhere!
GGumball
[Grabs the phone] Let's go to the bathroom, it's got a lock on the door!
[The duo run around the living room, stretching the phone's cord everywhere. Then both come rushing into the bathroom. Gumball hurriedly dials the police while Darwin closes and locks the door]
GGumball
Yeah, help! There's someone in my house!
I see... Are you in the house right now?
Then that someone is you! Case solved. You're welcome!
[The Doughnut Sheriff hangs up, and in a nearby crime statistics chart, he draws from the increasing line a line straight down to zero. Gumball dials again]
GGumball
Listen, you don't understand si–
Now look kid, I alr– [Phone disconnects]
[Gumball anxiously waits on the other line, frightened]
GGumball
[Mystically and nervously] Someone cut the phone line!
(throws Gumball out of the locker room and on the ground.)
GGumball
(pushes Leslie for inserting gum in and sabotaging Darwin's whistle) NOOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
THE SOLO IS MINE, NOT DARWIN'S! HE STOLE MY SPOTLIGHT, AND FLOWERS NEED LIGHT TO GROW!
GGumball
(hits Leslie by pushing him) Dude, you're a flower boy who plays a flute in a school band. You don't want this to get violent!
You were talking to someone who was a dancer since the year he was born in! (slaps Gumball and punches and kicks Gumball to give him a black eye)
GGumball
What I meant (takes the Archie head off) (Gumball's black eye and swollen face are shown.) was violence is never the answer, dude. You're supposed to be happy for your friend's success. This isn't about Darwin being good at something, it's about you refusing to make the effort to better yourself, and you know what the definition of that kind of person is?
No, I don't want that to happen!
GGumball
So, why don't we just enjoy the success of our friend even if it means that we get left behind?
GGumball
Quick, he's about to play the solo!
GGumball
Rocky! We need to get to the mall so we can sell out and make a load of cash!
Oh, sure. No probs- [Starts to glitch out before he can finish his sentence]
[The bus starts moving but the glitching begins to infect the bus and everything it comes in contact with. The Wattersons scream as the bus glitches out of control but their screams are temporarily switched to lovely-sounding tweeting birds as the sound begins to cut in and out as well. The bus then glitches into the air before falling back down smoothly, phasing through the ground. The bus then hits Doughnut Sheriff and Mr. Robinson who were glitched as well]
[The bus continues to glitch and the Wattersons continue to scream as the bus begins to break down. The sound begins to drop in quality as well]
GGumball
We need to get out of here!
[The family jumps out of the bus as it continues to disintergrate to nothing. The family then runs towards the mall]
We got to sign that contract before there is nothing left of Elmore!
[The environment then immediately switches from a barely 3D environment to a storyboard as the Wattersons are running through the Mall Parking lot]
[Muffled] We're... almost... there!
GGumball
[Muffled] Are you sure? Cos' it doesn't look like we're moving.
[The panels then begin to speed up as the Wattersons are apparently moving faster than before]
[Muffled] AAARGH! 'Too faaast!!!
GDGumball, Darwin, Anais, Nicole and Richard
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!!!
[Their speed boosts up, which allows them to break through the storyboard panel borders and tear through the entrance of the mall. After they crash through the door, the environment is reduced to a hand-drawn background and the Wattersons become sticky notes]
GGumball
[Muffled] Where's Joyful Burger?!
[Muffled] It's that way! [Points in a direction]
[Muffled] Err... it's over there. [Sticks her thumb in the opposite direction]
[Nicole's arm is suddenly erased]
AAAAAAAHHH!!!! [Only for it to be drawn back pointing in the right direction] Oh. I meant that way.
[The Wattersons run into Joyful Burger, now crude post-it note drawings]
[In a computer-generated voice with Australian accent] Then hurry up before it's too late!
[The Wattersons, except Gumball, all sign the contract, causing their animation and the environment to revert back to normal, while Gumball remains a sticky note]
[The camera cuts to Gumball, still a post-it note drawing. He grabs the pencil on the contract]
GGumball
[Puts down pencil] Wait. Are we really going to become clichés of ourselves just to sell a few burgers? Isn't there a way to survive in this world without selling out? Not everything has a price! Some things are more precious than money! Like dignity! Freedom! Love! Sorry, Larry, but you could have all the money in the world and you still couldn't afford the Wattersons!
[at Elmore Junior High, Gumball and Darwin try to resolve Anais's violence issues]
GGumball
Okay, first I want you to learn what it means to hurt someone.
I'm the one who— [Gumball angrily interrupts her]
GGumball
NO ARGUING! You wanna use violence? Then first you need to understand how it makes people feel!
Guys, you don't understand.
GGumball
Do it! [Darwin grabs Anais' hand and forces her to slap Gumball. He acts dramatically] Oh, I feel pain! But also sorrow. Isn't there a better solution to our problem? [Darwin grabs Anais entirely and throws her on top of Gumball] Gaargh! The violence inflicted upon me has instilled a rage! That can only lead to more violence. [Gumball picks up Anais, and uses her like a baton to hit Darwin. Darwin moans dramatically]
As an innocent bystander I feel unjustly hurt. The violence has now become...a vicious circle!
[Again, they use her limp arms to slap each other. The action escalates into Anais becoming a small, involuntary chain-slapping tornado]
GGumball
See what happens when you let yourself be an instrument of violence?! Everyone gets hurt!
You don't understand! I'm the one who's getting picked on! [Gumball grabs Anais by the cheeks to abruptly stop the spin]
GGumball
Then forget everything I said.
[Gumball suddenly transforms into a Super Saiyan, including the art style of the referenced anime]
GGumball
LET'S NAIL THIS GUYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!
Come on, man. We both know this is just posturing. [Gumball causally reverts back to normal]
GGumball
Yeah, but I thought you might buy it if I went big. Let's just try to find an actual solution.
GDGumball, Darwin and Anais
DAD!
The Amazing World of Gumball · 211 quotes
