Scenes with Gumball 87
(Whistles) Hey, William! Feast your eye on this! [He squirts shampoo on Williams’s eye but missed, squirted in his face.] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW! oh, wait. It's not that bad. (laughs) It’s baby shampoo.
[William focuses on Darwin]
[Gumball pushes Darwin out of the way, just as William unleashes his psychic power at the spot where Darwin was. He crumples some pipes, causing the room to fog up]
WWilliam
You cannot hide from me. Turn Around. Turn around, and face me like men! I am talking to you.
[Gumball and Darwin are huddled in a corner. Gumball sights William coming at them through the fog]
GGumball
[Whispering] There he is, creeping up on us in silence again.
WWilliam
In silence? [Realizes no one can hear him] Oh, gosh. No one can hear me, can they? I suppose that makes sense, I don't have a mouth. I thought you'd ignored me on purpose all my life. But when you blocked me on Elmore Plus, something...snapped. What was I thinking? I'm so sorry. You must be terrified and confused, I cannot apologize enough-
NOW! [They turn around, with Gumball holding a tennis racket. He swats William, and William flies out of a window]
[Squirts whipped cream into her mouth] And it's Dad who's looking after us. [Squirts some more whipped cream into her mouth]
[Gumball jumps into Darwin's arms with a slow iris shot as they smile. Just before it closes, Anais squirts whipped cream into Gumball's mouth]
GGumball
Ahh... I was hoping you'd do that.
GGumball
[Sighs] What is it now?
KMr. Kreese.
I'm Mr. Kreese. I teach over at Richwood High, and I heard you might have had some altercation with some of my students yesterday.
GGumball
Yeah, we did. They came out of nowhere, and tried to start a fight with us!
KMr. Kreese.
Well, I just wanted to say if that situation ever happens again— YOU WILL LOSE, and THEY WILL WIN! And you'll be like "UGH!" and they'll be like "AAAH!"
KMr. Kreese.
[Goes to window] Oooh, what's the matter? You scared, little piggies!?
GGumball
Uh yeah, you're a fully grown man screaming at us, and if you continue I'm gonna call the police.
KMr. Kreese.
Just what I'd expect from a couple of cowards like you. Ooooooh! Who's the hardcore one now?!
GGumball
Uh…you, I guess?
KMr. Kreese.
That's right! [Starts taunting and making weird noises and gestures]
GGumball
Let's go out the back.
[They sneak up on Mr.Kreese at the porch, and watch him while he continues to make taunting noises, tap his head repeatedly, and point through the window. Gumball shakes his head in disappointment]
Do you know what's the worst thing is? This guy is a teacher.
GGumball
No dude. The worst thing is that this guy's got two sweaters, and he's not wearing either of them.
(After Gumball corrects his "error", the scene is reenacted, but in a different outcome.)
You are in danger, Daniel Lennard!
LLennard
How do know my name? Who are you?
We are all that is left of Nicole Watterson's previous family.
LLennard
What? What about your father?
She took all his money...and, then...SHE ATE HIM!!
(Lennard gasps)
(whispering) And now, she's coming for you.
(The bush beside them rustles before Gumball jumps out, impersonating Nicole as he roars at Lennard. However, he responds with a swing of his cane. The scene stops.)
Okay, you're going to have to dodge that.
(The scene replays, but Gumball dodges the cane swing. The scene pauses again when Lennard delivers a kick.)
Okay, you're going to have to dodge that, too.
(The scene replays again, with Gumball dodging both the cane swing and the kick. The scene pauses again when Lennard now delivers a karate chop.)
(flatly) Okay. That as well.
(The scene replays once again as Gumball dodges the cane swing, then the kick, then the chop, but the scene pauses once more when Lennard pulls a Taser gun.)
Dude, I don't think you'll be able to dodge that!
(The scene opens on Gumball and Darwin outside of the nurse's office as Gumball knocks on the door.)
Are you sure this is going to work? Because I really don't want to go to gym class.
(Gumball's leg kicks him in the face.)
GGumball
My legs are trying to kick my brain for just thinking about it! But don't you worry. Today's the day the plan works!
But it's already gone wrong so many times. Maybe we should just accept our fate and go to gym class.
(Gumball's leg kicks Darwin in the shin.)
GGumball
Don't say that out loud! You're making them angry! Just let me handle this.
(Joan answers the door.)
JMJoan Markham
(sighs) Watterson.... No, I haven't lost weight. No, I haven't done something new with my hair. No, you don't have the bubonic plague. No, you can't have a second opinion on that. Therefore, no, you cannot get a note to skip gym class.
(Gumball's leg kicks his face again.)
JMJoan Markham
What was that?
GGumball
Don't worry about it.
GGumball
(muffled, via subtitles) You apologized.
JJamie
Yeah, whatever, you better shut up if you don't want Mr. and Mrs. Pain to invite you to dinner! They only serve filet-o-fist!
GGumball
[Twists his jaw back] It's fine. You can let that anger go, Jamie. You touched our hearts yesterday.
JJamie
Oh, I'll touch your heart--with my fist!
GGumball
That's...quite a vivid image, but we understand. You don't have to be a bully anymore. Coach saw what we were all too blind to see, that you're really a sweet, kind, orange...thing with, uh, a hat...or a wig or some kind of a helmet...and horns that we're proud to call our friend.
JJamie
[throws Gumball in Darwin’s mouth] I am not anyone's friend! The only friends I need are Grandma and Grandpa Fist, and they don't give candy. I'm gonna show you. I'm gonna do something so bad, it'll go down in SCHOOL HISTORY!
GGumball
We really need to work on Jamie's hugging technique.
GGumball
You don't really think Jamie will do anything bad, do you?
Well, just because she fed Anton to the ducks... [Flashback of said moment briefly plays] Or that she chewed Teri's own body to spit it back in her face... [Flashback of said moment briefly plays] Or that she ate a little bit of Sarah and Banana Joe... [Flashback of said moment briefly plays]
GGumball
(scared) Dude, stop! I can't take any more horrible flashbacks!
But people change. Just because she did all that doesn't mean [sees Jamie] that she's capable of climbing into the back of a teacher's car to[Becomes very startled and fearful] DO SOMETHING SO BAD THAT IT'LL GO DOWN IN SCHOOL HISTORY!
At least he passed away peacefully.
GGumball
Yeah, like a peaceful, evil raisin.
[The kids and Richard are giving the turtle a funeral]
[Sniffles] Before we say goodbye to our beloved family pet, Evil Turtle, I think we should all say a few words to let him know how much he meant to us.
GAGumball, Anais and Richard
Hmmm.
I'll always think fondly of the way he put fear into my heart.
GAGumball, Anais and Richard
Hmmm.
Every time I stare down at the scar tissue on my hand, I'll think of him.
GDGumball and Darwin
Hmmm.
Only once in your lifetime, does something touch your heart in the way that... awesome store did! [Sobs in his hands]
GGumball
Dad, you gotta move on.
Gumball, do you have anything you like to add?
GGumball
Yeah, er.... I'll miss his.... you know the funny way he... the thing he... I got nothing.
[Drops the dead turtle into the trash bag] All of this because we couldn't take care of him.
[Darwin cries over the turtle and a single drop falls on the turtle who immediately recovers and hisses at them, scaring Gumball]
He was revived by my tear!
GGumball
IT FEEDS ON MISERY!!!
[The turtle climbs out and crosses the road away from the Wattersons, hissing and snarling furiously]
Somebody save him, he could get hurt!
[The Turtle moves into the path of a speeding car in which the car crashes into pieces and the turtle was unharmed and unfazed by the impact]
Forget saving the turtle, we need a plan to save the neighborhood.
GGumball
Why am I the bait?
(comes out of a bush) Because you're the one he loves biting the most!
GGumball
Alright, but why am I not allowed to wear clothes?
Because he could choke on them.
(Darwin pops in and then out of his hiding spot and decorates Gumball's head with leaves.)
GGumball
What was that for?
Presentation. It's important.
Shh! Just remember to let it get as close as possible to give me a chance to catch it!
Just make sure you don't hurt him, okay? He's only a small little guy and there's three of...
(Darwin suddenly falls as he is heard gasping.)
GGumball
.....Darwin? Are you ok?
(Gumball nervously checks his environment as looks around. He then hears splashing water.)
GGumball
Dude, is that you?... Hello? Is anyone there?
(A pair of malicious eyes poke out of the swamp. Gumball gapes before the turtle rushes out to him while hissing, scaring Gumball and forcing him to free himself!)
GGumball
I CAN'T FIND THE EDGE!!!
(The evil turtle closes in, but Gumball manages to free himself, though losing his fur from the tape, and runs away, with the turtle in pursuit.)
Wait, what about the bowl?!
GGumball
WHAT ABOUT MY BUTT?!?!?
Well, I guess there's no getting rid of it. We'll have to keep it for as long as it lives.
GGumball
we (Gumball/Darwin) DIDN'T LIE! (to Darwin) We're mega poor, right, Darwin?!
BBBanana Bob
(to Gumball/Darwin) PROVE IIIIIIT!
GGumball
MOM! WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE NOW!!!!
Yes, but about that, apparently the engine is... (glares at Richard) caramelized.
(gasps, then whispers) Caramelized.... (He looks at Nicole) Aw.... Mmm!
(groans) He can't fix it. We're stuck here. But, the good news is he says he'll have us for dinner!
(Gumball and Darwin scream again from inside the car.)
Can you guys stop screaming every five minutes?!
(The window rolls down, revealing the boys screaming silently.)
GGumball
Actually, we're doing a silent scream. We need to save our voices for WHEN HE EATS US!!!
You two are ridiculous. Scaring yourselves with narrow-minded assumptions about country people.
(The old man suddenly picks up Anais.)
OMOld Man
Big brain for such a small thing. (chuckles) I like that.
(Frightened, Anais dashes into the car.)
WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE NOW!!!!
Alright, that's it! I only get five days off a year! (at Richard) We already wasted Christmas when you decorated the house with whipped cream instead of fake snow!
(Flashback to Nicole entering the house at Christmastime)
(Nicole slips on the whipped cream and is knocked unconscious. Richard and Anais are seen gorging on the cream.)
Uh, how much cream did you eat?
Then, there was the Fourth of July...
(In another flashback, the family is gathered in the backyard as Richard lights a firework.)
(The lit firework launches, but it circles back down and crashes into the yard.)
Then your mother's visit...
(In another flashback, Nicole is driving on the freeway with Granny Jojo alongside her. However, as the latter speaks, she gets increasingly annoyed.)
After you drop me off at the mall, go to the grocery store and buy me a melon - not too hard, not too soft. Then, pick me up at 2:30. I have an appointment at a beauty parlor, and from the looks of it, you could do with a makeover yourself, then you need to--
And let's not forget Halloween!
(In one last flashback, Richard, in a wolf mask, surprises Nicole on Halloween. However, Nicole reacts by kicking him down the stairs!)
There's some liquid in my lungs!
(Back to the original scene...)
So I'm not going to ruin this by listening to your crazy assumptions! You said we were going camping, so WE ARE GOING CAMPING!!!!!!!!
(At the Watterson house, Gumball and Darwin help Rocky apply for an office job.)
GGumball
(typing on computer) "Office jobs..."
(The computer shows the same results.)
All the options say, "Work at Chanax".
CHANAX?! They're the worst corporation on Earth! They pollute, they cut down the rainforest, their boss invented boy bands! THEY'RE PURE EVIL!!
GGumball
They also invented cheese puffs.
Huh. Necessary evil, I guess.
GGumball
I mean, why not drive with your eyes closed, and your hands in the air too?!
Ah, great idea! [Drives with eyes closed and hands in air]
[Gumball then screams]
[He drives on the wrong lane, and barely hits other cars and people going the opposite direction]
[Panicked] No! NO! He was trying to use reverse psychology!
Did someone say reverse?!
[The sheriff reverses the car, and drives backwards. The car flies off a speed bump, and a speed camera takes a snapshot of the car's bottom. They continue driving, no longer reversed. Gumball takes his paws with claws stuck on the dashboard off it]
GGumball
Please, I'm begging you. Someone's going to get hurt unless you stop breaking the law!
Don't worry kid, nothing can happen. I AM THE LAW! [Laughs hysterically]
[He speeds up the car. Then spotting a baby carriage and the Crocodile Woman in the middle of the road, he steps on the brakes and screeches to a halt. The car stops in time, but bumps the carriage. This sends a piece of trash flying from the baby stroller]
GGumball
Oh, thank gosh it's the old stroller-full-of-trash trick.
[The piece of trash hits a live baby in another stroller from a distance, making it cry]
Your mom's aren't the superest, mine is! It's written right here.
GGumball
Dude. Just because you wrote something, doesn't mean it's true.
What do you mean, "What is it?" It's a banana!
[He shows his card. On it is "Superest mom" with a sad clown's face. No one says anything, and he puts his arm down]
GGumball
Look, I don't want to break anyone's heart here, but at the max, your mom could be the superest in your neighborhood.
But sometimes Mrs. Mom drives down their street.
GGumball
Oh, yeah, right. Superest mom in your house then, tops.
(The episode opens in the kids' room, where the three sleep peacefully. However, once the alarm goes off, that peace fades as they wake up with devilish faces, ready to battle for control of the computer.)
(The kids each impede each other on reaching the computer. As Gumball jumps into the chair, Darwin throws a cup full of pencils over the seat, forcing Gumball to land on the pencils' sharp edges, shedding a tear in pain.)
GGumball
Good move, but I can take it.
(Gumball turns the computer on, but the three discover it now needing a...)
(The bedroom door is pushed closed by the surprise culprit - their father!)
GGumball
Were you standing behind that door all night for dramatic effect?
Then why does it look like your bladder's about to explode?
(Richard is then seen holding in his pee severely.)
You kids spend too much time on that thing. You should be playing outside.
GGumball
Why do I have the feeling you sound like Mom right now?
Uh... (Nicole's arm appears holding a note.) "Your mother has nothing to do with this. I take full responsibility for being the bad cop this time. Read this or you sleep on the couch tonight."
GGumball
"Procrastinator". Derived from the Mexican word, Procratalamación, which means "midnight snack", and the Viking word, astenator, which means "puckered cheeks". It describes a person sitting on a sandwich in the dark.
[Darwin sends a confused face at Gumball]
GGumball
Of course I don't know, dude. You know how I use a dictionary...
[A flashback shows a sleeping Richard and Gumball emerging behind the couch with a dictionary. He slams it shut, creating a loud boom that scares Richard, causing his heart to literally burst out of his chest. Gumball disgustedly escapes the scene.]
A procrastinator is someone who always avoids their responsibilities by doing something else instead.
GGumball
(laughs) That's ridiculous.
Gumball, you're such a procrastinator that you were four years old when you finished your first sentence. Even then, it was "I'll do it tomorrow."
GGumball
What the what? Y-you look… you look—
Penny: What? Do I look bad? [She shape-shifts into a gremlin]
GGumball
No! You look, uh—
Penny: [Raspy voice] I look disgusting, don't I?!
GGumball
No, Penny, I think you look—
Penny: Don't look at me! [Deep voice] I'M A MONSTER!
[Penny shape-shifts into an amorphous fist, breaks through the wall of Gumball's room, and flies away, now in the form of a gargoyle]
GGumball
No, Penny, wait! You look… extraordinary.
NO! It's a tragic misunderstanding that could have been really easily avoided if he just finished his sentence in time!
[Nicole slowly opens the door and the rest of the Wattersons rush into Gumball's room]
[Gumball climbs down the ladder, going after Penny]
GGumball
Penny, please wait!
PPatrick
What the…? You came out of your shell.
GGumball
[Laughs nervously] I know, she looks fantastic, right?
PPatrick
What have you done? You've turned her into a freak.
GGumball
A freak…ishly beautiful young lady. [Laughs nervously]
PPatrick
She looks like a pig-
GGumball
-ture of beauty. Ha ha, absolutely!
PPatrick
You turned my daughter into a monster!
GGumball
-truck! Of... prettiness?
[Penny shrieks as she transforms into a dragon]
Penny: [Deep voice] Gumball, please tell my father that the monster's gone to live in the forest, with all the other beasts! [Flies away]
[Gumball turns to Patrick, with an angry expression on his face]
GGumball
[Mockingly imitates Patrick] Ohh, I wonder why my daughter is upset after I called her a freaky pig monster!
[Gumball hops on the hood of Patrick's car]
GGumball
NOW, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO SHUT UP! Think about what you've done! Do you realize you were wrong?! [Patrick nods] Good! But don't beat yourself up about it, parenting is hard! Now pop the hood!
[Patrick pops the hood of his car, launching Gumball up into the sky, and onto Penny]
GGumball
I'm not letting you leave!
Penny: Gumball, no! You'll get hurt!
GGumball
Ah! Look out! AAH!
[A plane approaches them. They barely dodge it]
GGumball
Penny! Go up go up GO UP!
GGumball
What's your best dance move?
[Darwin does his best dance move, sliding from side to side in his seat]
GGumball
Cossack dance, but there's a problem with it.
[Gumball gets off of his seat, and dances. He repeatedly kicks himself in the face as he does so]
GGumball
My torso's too short.
[They both laugh. Gumball goes back to his seat]
[In the library, Gumball once again tries to propose to Penny. He emerges from behind a bookcase and walks up to her]
GGumball
Penny, there's something I need to ask you.
Actually, there's something I wanted to say as well.
GGumball
I know. I totally feel what you feel. Let's say it at the same time. One. Two-
We need some space. [Gumball gasps and makes a shocked face] It's just… until you guys work it out, I kinda feel bad ruining your relationship. You two have something special, you know.
[Gumball, still shocked, screams as he runs off - without moving his legs. He screams and glides his way through the hallway, onto the bus, and back through his house until he arrives in his bedroom and finds Darwin waiting there. He is poorly dressed up like Penny]
GGumball
Ugh. What are you doing?
Whatever it takes for you to still love me. Is it working?
GGumball
If by working, you mean making me nauseous then- [Gags, then cries] But it doesn't matter anyway. Penny's left me! She didn't want to come between us, and it's all your fault! [Faceplants and sobs]
Uh…I didn't mean to come between you two. I-I-I just wanted to spend more time with you. I'm so sorry. Come here- [Darwin tries to reach out to Gumball, but Gumball avoids him]
GGumball
Wait, this is creepy. [Sobbing loudly] But I really need a hug! [Darwin holds Gumball, and comforts him]
GGumball
Is it weird that I love her so much it makes my ears sweat?
GGumball
Is it weird that I think about her all the time, even in the bathroom?
GGumball
Is it weird that I bought a ring and I want to ask her to marry me?
Well, yeah. That's-that's completely weird.
GGumball
Well, it doesn't matter now. It's all ruined!
No, it's not. What if I could give you the perfect setting, the perfect moment?
GGumball
What do you mean? [Darwin begins dancing and imitating R&B music]
GGumball
Stop it. That…that's weird.
GGumball
[Snickers] All right. [Joins in dancing with him] How are you gonna get a log cabin though? Or a lake? Or a chocolate fountain? And how are you gonna get her to come over?
Come on. Mm mm. [He starts dancing towards the door] Uh huh. Come on.
The Amazing World of Gumball · 211 quotes
