Verminous Snaptrap quotes from T.U.F.F. Puppy

Bird Brain

Giant Hot Dog to base. I'm in position and feeling totally humiliated.

Snaptrap

[through walkie-talkie] Pipe down and act delicious.

Snaptrap

As we were saying, before we were so rudely interrupted, you can't stop us because…

Chief

Yeah, yeah. We already know your stupid plan is legal.

Chameleon

We're also going to throw a book at the baby.

Bird Brain

We're not doing that.

Snaptrap

Bad guys out!

Snaptrap

Come on, guys. Someone's gotta have a diabolical plan. What's the point of having a think tank if no one has any ideas?

I'm not sure this is a think tank, Snaptrap.

Snaptrap

What are you talking about? We're thinking, and we're in a tank. Plus, I'm wearing a tank top. Now, somebody come up with an evil plan before we run out of air.

[through speaker] Verminious! What did you do to my toe cream?

Snaptrap

It's under your bunion cream, Mom! It's gross, guys. Her feet have more bumps than the surface of the moon.

Verminious! How many stamps do I need to send an email?

Snaptrap

Boy, mom's are the worst.

Francisco

Yeah, tell me about it. This one time I didn't clean up my room, and my mom tried to turn me into a pair of boots.

My mom was equally horrid. Her crumpets were dry and lumpy.

I love my mommy. She's cool. She always takes care of me when I get hurt.

Snaptrap

I hope you have her on speed dial. Hey, all this mom talk gave me an idea for a diabolical plan. We'll build a giant space laser, point it at my house, and when my mom's looking up at it, I'll run away from home!

Or we could just send all the mom's in Petropolis to a deserted island.

Snaptrap

Why would we reward them from being super annoying by taking them to a whimsical all you can eat dessert restaurant?

Not Dessert Island. A deserted island.

Snaptrap

Ooh, I like it! All in favor of ridding Petropolis of all mom's, stand up. Hey, guys, what are we all doing in this tank?

Snaptrap

Greetings, T.U.F.F. It is I, Verminious Snaptrap! I've captured all the annoying mom's in Petropolis, and now I'm sending them to a deserted island! You're welcome.

Dudley

Dessert Island? Awesome! Can I go?

Peg

Not until after dinner. You'll spoil your appetite.

Dudley

Ah! Let me do my man things, mom!

Snaptrap

Whoops. Sorry, Agent Puppy. Looks like I missed your mom. Don't worry, I'll get her. [Peg and Dudley look at each other] Snaptrap out!

Chief

Aah! No! That monster has my mommy! She's the light of my life! The reason none of my girlfriends are good enough!

Dudley

Don't worry, Chief. We'll find where Snaptrap's keeping the mom's, after we go to Dessert Island. [looks back at Peg] Okay, fine, mom's first.

Seriously? I had my head shaved for this?

Snaptrap

What's your problem, Larry? If you rob weddings, you get great stuff. Plus, you ruin the happiest day of a young couple's life.

Grilled panini with warm gravy, boss?

Snaptrap

Thanks, Ollie. It smells delightful. Do me a favor. Go toss Larry in the wood chipper we stole from the lumberjack wedding.

Chameleon

Looks like we're back in the wedding fashion business.

Don't be a dope, Chameleon. We've already stolen more stuff than we have room for. Right, Snaptrap?

Snaptrap

We'll have more room once you're in the bark bucket.

We're in, Snaptrap! Time to get a new set of wheels.

Snaptrap

Yeah, and as long as we're here, we might as well steal a whole car. But which one? The minivan has a DVD player and plenty of legroom for hostages. But the electric car is good for the stupid environment. And the engine's quiet, so our victims won't hear us coming.

Francisco

Eh, boss, you better make a decision fast. T.U.F.F. is probably on the way.

Snaptrap

Back off, Francisco! I'm having trouble deciding. Let's see. Bucket seats, moonroof, or should we all just go out for breakfast pasta? [Ollie splashes Snaptrap] Thanks, Ollie. The cold water cleared my head. I'm going with the minivan, and breakfast pasta.

Dudley

Freeze, Snaptrap!

Snaptrap

I already did. The water was ice cold.

Well, there is one good thing about your indecisiveness, boss. Because you couldn't decide what to steal, we didn't have to spend that much time in prison.

Snaptrap

[accidentally pushes Ollie into the shark tank] Oh, stop trying to make me feel better. [sharks are biting Ollie] Let's face it. My inability to make choices is gonna ruin my criminal career. Or is it? I can't decide. I'm just gonna watch TV in my bone-bag chair.

Don't you mean beanbag chair?

Snaptrap

That's ridiculous. Who puts beans in a chair? [sits on a cushion of bones]

Snaptrap

This menu is huge! I'll never decide what to get with my breakfast pasta.

I like blackened catfish.

Snaptrap

And I like blackened Larry. [blasts Larry]

Snaptrap

These are delicious. Francisco, pass me more syrup.

Francisco

My name isn't really Francisco. It's Francesca. My mom wanted a girl. [realizes what he said] Wait, what am I saying?

Aw, that's okay, Francesca. I'm not really British. [in a French accent] I just faked the accent to sound smarter.

Snaptrap

Something weird is happening. Suddenly I have the urge to tell Larry that I don't actually hate him. I'm only hard on him because I think he has the most potential to be evil.

And I have the urge to admit I've been putting black widows in your gym bag. [realizes what he said; freaking out] What's gotten into us?!

Dudley

I just gave you truth syrup, and I didn't have to tell you because I can lie again. Keswick gave us the antidote-- Key Lie Pie!

Great plan, boss. Dressing up like Bigfoot so you can scare people out of their houses was a stroke of genius!

Snaptrap

Oh, that wasn't my plan. I was just trying on this cheesy costume for the D.O.O.M. costume party, and I must be allergic to it. Anywho, my glands swelled up like balloons, and now I can't get this stupid thing off.

Then what were you doing in Wolf Spitzer's house?

Snaptrap

Looking for an antihistamine. Then everyone ran out screaming, so I did what I always do, I took all their stuff.

So once again, you had no plan at all.

My minds not blown.

Snaptrap

[blasts Larry] It is now.

Snaptrap

Well, this is humiliating.

Bird Brain

You're telling me. Two respected thespians, such as ourselves, reduced to being beaten up by a girl?!

Snaptrap

No, I was talking about my hospital gown. It doesn't close in the back.

Bird Brain

We should give that Tammy a taste of her own medicine.

Snaptrap

Sorry, I'm gonna need all my medicine. She really kicked my butt. Which as I mentioned, it's the only part of me this robe isn't covering.

Bird Brain

Thank you all for coming to this diabolical debriefing.

Snaptrap

Whoa. No one said anything about taking our underpants off.

Bird Brain

I'm trying to explain the plan. We're not taking off our briefs.

Snaptrap

Oh, good. Cause that's where I'm keeping all the silverware I stole from Bird Brain.

Chameleon

Oh, remind me to never go to a dinner party at your house.

Bird Brain

Quiet, you two! Behold, my de-good-i-fier! It sucks the good right out of people. If we use it on the T.U.F.F. agents, they'll turn evil, and they'll no longer stop us from committing crimes!

Chameleon

Oh, Bird Brain, that plan is genius.

Snaptrap

I wish I could say the same about stuffing kitchen utensils under my briefs. There's a crab cracker in a very tendered spot.