Vince McMahon quotes from Survivor Series

Excuse me one minute. (yelling) Hey Stu (Hart), wake up! He fell asleep.

He's gonna wake up. He's gonna come over here, Bobby.

That'll take two hours. We'll be off the air.

(On the hooded Blue Knight) This Blue Knight's really put together, huh? I know who he is!

Alright, who is he?

Oh, I can't tell YOU.

You know, the Hart family is known as the cowards of Canada.

What do you mean, the cowards of Canada?

That's just what I hear from people.

Stu just yelled over to Helen, "Helen, I'm damp". What does that mean?

Bobby Heenan, you're a bad man. You owe the entire Hart family an apology, as well as our audience.

I hope the director doesn't show the Hart family anymore.

Why's that?

The phone'll be ringing off the hook over at America's Most Wanted!

I think they oughta start a show for you family.

Oh yeah? What would they call it?

America's Most Unwanted.

You know, all the Hart daughters look like the mom. I mean, the same age, like they're going on 85, 87...

You are an unkind man, Bobby Heenan.

Her face could hold an 8 day rain with all those wrinkles!

(about Mabel) Mabel with all that hair and makeup on. Are you sure that's not Oprah Winfrey?

Would you be serious, Bobby Heenan?

Oh that's right. She's dropped down to about 350.

We still don't know who Shawn Michaels' Knights were-

I do!

Sure, of course you do, but you're not telling.

Mabel is huge, Bobby Heenan!

Well, if you wolfed down 65 turkeys, you'd put on a few pounds too.

What's that smell?

That's Bastion Booger, I believe.

WOW! ... I thought it was just Boston.

Whoomp, there it is!

Whoopsie, there it is.

This is a cartoon! Forget about Looney Tunes. Forget about Hanna Barbera. They've got nothing on the WWF!

Not tonight!

Not tonight!

This looks like a match Chief Jay Strongbow should've wrestled in.

There's confetti on the floor, there's bananas on the floor, there's turkey carcasses on the floor, there's bananas in the ring, there's skins in the ring. There's a drumstick, there's a wing, there's a gizzard.

Where's a gizzard?

I feel like I'm at Dahmer's house.

[on the Steiner Brothers] Graduates of the University of Wisconsin.

The University of Michigan, Bobby Heenan.

I think they got their jackets on upside down. Anyone can graduate from Michigan. You could, even, a man who's hooked on phonics.

[Jacques hits a piledriver on Scott Steiner and covers him] That won't work. It won't work.

The cover. Referee out of position... [Hebner counts, but Steiner kicks out] Almost worked, why wouldn't it work?

He dropped him on his head; there's nothing in there!

Ok, so now it's three against...two.

Three on two, Bobby Heenan

Three on two is five.

[pause] How about that. You're the Brain. You can add, huh?

Well, I wanted to show you, you know, help you out.