Vince McMahon quotes from SummerSlam

(Jerry Lawler has Bret Hart up against the ringpost) We saw Doink earlier ram Bret's leg into the ringpost, now what's Lawler going to do? (Lawler crotches Bret against the post) Oh no!

(High voice) Oh it's going to happen to Bret "The Hitman" Hart.

Stop it Bobby Heenan!

Harvey Wippleman was instrumental in stealing that urn from the Undertaker.

No no no, he "urned" it!

(Referring to The Undertaker) The man in black!

Yeah, I bet Johnny Cash has a picture of him on his wall.

(On Harvey Wippleman) Tell him, Harvey! You tell him Harvey!

Tell him what?

Get on his case! Harvey'll knock you out in a minute, you know.

Yeah, sure...

But that urn owned by Harvey Wippleman!

It's owned by The Undertaker, it's in the possession of Harvey Wippleman.

Same thing!

[on Alundra Blayze] What a competitor. What an athlete.

What a face. I've heard of faces that could stop a clock; this face could stop Switzerland.

Now wait a minute, if you'll turn this...a battle between a beauty and the beast, considering Bull Nakano's look.

I agree, she's beautiful.

[regarding the Hart family] McMahon, why don't you ask them the hard questions? Why don't you get them to tell the truth? [Pointing to Stu and Helen Hart] You drove them to this, both of you. You know you did. You brought Owen to this. You kept him down his whole life! You, the entire family! You all did it! The only man...

The brothers back there, wait a minute...you'd better watch your mouth!

The entire family has drove Owen to this! I wanna say a word to this man over here though. Here's the only man I want to welcome to the United Center because this is the man who, two years ago at SummerSlam, went head-to-head, face-to-face against Bret Hart. Are you having...are you having any flashbacks? Wouldn't you love to be in there against him tonight?

Uh, not really because I know what kind of condition Bret's in, and he's in the best condition of his life right now. The family feud started in 1992 at SummerSlam, but in 1994 tonight at the United Center, the family feud is hopefully going to end in this 15-foot-high steel cage.

It's gonna end, all right. And I don't think any of you are gonna like the way it's ending.

Why don't you ask some of the brothers back here. Ask Bruce, he's right there behind Davey...[noticing behind Bruce] oh wait a minute. Wait just a minute. Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart. Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart, your thoughts on this steel cage. And you, you sitting here among all the other family members. How do they feel about you sitting here among them?

Well, you know...you know, it's all in the family. But I...I think everyone's gonna really see who the really...who the best Hart is of all, who's the best. And everyone's gonna see that Owen Hart is gonna be the next World Heavyweight Champion.

He's the King of Harts already!

He's the King of Harts, and he's the best Hart of all! He's the best wrestler! And you know something? I think that Stu Hart did drive Owen to this greatness!

Bret Hart trying to finish this thing once and for all with his baby brother Owen.

See, listen to you calling him a baby.

Youngest brother, he was the baby of the family.

Why do you feel like you have to refer to the WWF Champion as a baby?

Can you imagine poor Hunter Hearst-Helmsley is gonna have to be soiled by this grease monkey with those filthy, greasy fingernails of his, Bob "Spark Plug" Holly. Look at the look on Hunter's face. Oh, this has gotta be...oh, I can't even imagine it myself.

This is degrading for Hunter Hearst-Helmsley?

Without a doubt.

Please.

I mean, that's just two complete opposite worlds. You're looking at the kind of guy over there, in Bob "Spark Plug" Holly, that would spend his honeymoon at a monster truck rally or something, and then you've got a man over here who...his idea of a fast food restaurant would be someplace that could serve Kentucky-fried quail or pheasant under glass.

"Kentucky-fried quail."

Yeah.

I see.

Or squab. You ever heard of that?

Squab?

Yeah. That's the kind of things Hunter Hearst-Helmsley would eat.

Sounds like a detergent. Squab?

You sure you're not from Alabama, like Bob there?

[on Isaac Yankem, DDS] This man has been a great wrestler in the past under an assumed name.

What was his assumed name?

I'm not gonna tell you that. He doesn't want them to know. He only wants everybody to know him by his name, and it's Yankem, not Yankem.

Come on, Shawn.

You're rooting for Shawn to win?

No, I don't care.

Come on, Razor.

You just said, "come on, Shawn," earlier.

I know. See? I'm very objective.

Owen Hart, to a certain extent, following in the footsteps of his older brother, Bret "The Hitman" Hart.

Do you have to mention his name at SummerSlam around me, McMahon?

[on Phineas Godwinn and Zip] Here we go, criss-cross action. Where's she gonna stop? [Zip stops...] Right about there, maybe...[Phineas and Zip rush to the Smoking Gunns' corner and tag both of them] Well, how about that?!

There you go!

Tagged both Gunns in! Look at that!

Now wait a minute, they're not gonna wrestle each other.

They have to, they have no choice.

No, they got...they gotta have something.

They gotta make contact, that's the rules, Perfect.

That's right, Billy now must wrestle Bart.

I want everybody to take a real good look right now at the winners and still World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Champions, and that's the way they're gonna stay! Now before we go and have our victory party, I want all you women to look at the Smoking Gunns, at what real men are supposed to look like. And boys, take a good look at the woman next to you—the fat, the cellulite, how out of shape they are right now. And as I look around here, this place is looking really sorry, so my generous gift to you—to make this building look a whole lot better. Hit it, boys!

Unbelievable!

Don't I look incredible?! Mwah!

Mankind, better known...well, not better known as, but certainly known as Mick Foley, grew up not all that far, grew up here in the tri-state area out on Long Island.

Well, that explains what's wrong with him.