Mean Gene Okerlund quotes from SummerSlam

Gentlemen, as you know the Ultimate Warrior-- (the SummerSlam sign falls off behind them.)

Nice move.

Fuck it!

With me now, Sensational Queen Sherri.

You mean victorious Sensational Queen Sherri.

Well, yes, but you're not gonna gloat like that.

Listen, Mean Gene. When you are so good that you intimidate your opponent to the point where they don't even show up because they know that they'll take a sensational beating, you can gloat all you want.

Well, I suppose, but Queen Sherri, there's something peculiar going on around here as it relates to Sweet Sapphire. It's almost if she vanished into thin air. There were earlier sightings of Sapphire, but I don't know what's happened to her, I really don't.

"Earlier sightings"? What is she, a UFO?! But you're right, a lot of people did see Sapphire earlier this afternoon, and I'm beginning to think that maybe she's not so dumb after all.

What do you mean?

First of all, she was smart enough not to show up and take a beating in her match with me; second, I heard a few rumors a minute ago. She may be the smartest person in the WWF.

Rumors? What rumors?

[laughing hysterically] Well...this is too good to be true!

Sensational Queen Sherri, I fail to see what's so funny about a missing person.

I said she was missing, I didn't say anything about her being a person.

Hulk Hogan, hot on the heels of victory at SummerSlam tonight! What a powerhouse of a match between you and Earthquake, but I don't know, Hulk, if it's been settled.

You know somethin', Mean Gene? The only thing left to do, brother, is to kickstart my Wide Glide, hang onto the Ape Hangers, and with the largest arms in the world, man, ride right up to Jack Tunney's office, brother! Let him know that the Hulkamaniacs realize they're still the stronger power in the world, brother! And Jack Tunney, I just want you to know, dude. They're building new buildings all around the country. New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, Africa, Asia, North Pole, South Pole, and all points in between, brother! And the new buildings, Mean Gene, they're Earthquake-proof, brother!

Earthquake-proof?

Yes! Earthquake-proof! Because I'm gonna take this big, fat dude, and I'm gonna drag him all the way around the country, brother! I'm gonna beat him in each and every arena until Jack Tunney puts me right back where I belong—in the #1 contender's spot, brother.

Well, Hulk Hogan, with all due respect, I think you're there already, I'll tell you what. A strong, strong outing for you against this mammoth, Earthquake.

Well, you know something, Mean Gene? I felt the love of the Hulkamaniacs, brother. The 400,000 cards and letters in just a few short weeks prove, man, that this thing's gonna last forever. And now, Hulkamaniacs, this is the decade of the little Hulksters, brother. And now, there are four Demandments. Four Demandments—train, say your prayers, eat your vitamins, and believe in yourself, brother. If you believe in yourself like you made me believe in myself, you can get anything you want!

With me at this is the former World Wrestling Federation Champion, the man who was disgruntled the moment they announced the main event for SummerSlam, for it was he who felt he should be the #1 contender to face the Macho Man Randy Savage. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the "Nature Boy" Ric Flair.

Rest assured, little man, it was not I alone disgruntled over the fact that the great Ric Flair was denied his opportunity to regain the World Wrestling Federation Championship right here at SummerSlam. After all, when you're talking about the brights lights and the big cities, you gotta be talking London, England. And when you're talking Summerslam, and when you're talking the World Wrestling Federation, you gotta be talking Ric Flair! Woo!

Ric Flair, I couldn't help but notice you're wearing your robe and your wrestling attire. What's going on here?

It's because anybody that knows anything about Ric Flair knows that he stays ready for any kind of action.

And speaking of action, Ric Flair, one man we know is going to be seeing action tonight is your executive consultant, Mr. Perfect, for it's public knowledge he's gonna be in the corner of either the Macho Man Randy Savage or the Ultimate Warrior. As a matter of fact, I saw you and Mr. Perfect show up outside of Wembley Stadium earlier today in a long limosuine, Ric Flair. You two have been embroiled in this controversy of the main event since the day it was announced. As a matter of fact, this match may end up going down in history as the most controversial match in World Wrestling Federation history.

Why, he's in the dressing room.

But whose dressing room?!

The dressing room of the winner! Who else?! WOO!

Alright, this is the SummerSlam you thought you'd never see. And there was an incident out there tonight that I thought I would n... What the hell were you trying to pull?! There was no deal!

You just be quiet, little man! There was a deal, all right!

There was not a deal!

It was a done deal between Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect. A lot of people might think that other deal didn't go down. Not a chance. That was Plan A, and now, Plan B, little man divot-head, is in full charge. Plan B, champ, tell him the way it is.

Oh, come on, this has got to be...

I should've had the shot to begin with! Not the Ultimate Warrior! But now, you ask the Warrior what he wants in life! Well, it's gonna be me, and baby, I'm waiting on you! Plan A, maybe that slipped by. But now, we're looking at Plan B! And baby, the way I see it, the two most perfect men alive today are this gentleman and myself!

You two men, this is an absolute sham in the World Wrestling Federation!

Is my bowtie straight, champ?

You are a killer, brother. You are a killer! In closing, let me tell the whole world and especially one man something. Savage, that belt is coming back to me!

Well, I’ve got to agree with my broadcast colleague, Sean Mooney. Indeed, there is a great deal of pressure for this Intercontinental title bout. However, the pressure for the champion—you, Bret "The Hitman” Hart—much different than the pressure on the challenger, the British Bulldog. For him to win this coveted title, he must either make you submit or get the pinfall 1-2-3 in the center of the ring. And then, of course, there’s the question of the family pressure.

Well, let me tell you something, Gene. As far as family pressure goes, I’ve proven that I work real well under pressure. But you know something that really bugs me, that really irks me, is the British Bulldog actually has the gall to come out here and say that when he steps in the ring with me, that he’s never met me, that he doesn’t know me. Well, let me tell you something, British Bulldog. Take a good look at my face and look me in the eye and tell me you don’t know me. Do you remember that far back, British Bulldog, when I was the one that introduced you to my sister Diana in the first place. And as far as your career in the World Wrestling Federation, I’m the one that helped you the most. You wouldn’t be where you are in the World Wrestling Federation if it wasn’t for me. Talk about gratitude.