HPHolo-Pearl
"Do you wish to battle again?"
[running around her] Pearl!! That was amazing! You were so cool!
Oh-ho-ho, well... one does try their best.
Will you teach me to sword fight like you?
[chuckles] All right. But we should start with the basics. [clears throat] Initiate training mode. [Holo-Pearl stands]
HPHolo-Pearl
"Training mode initiated. Level one, begin!"
I want you to stand back, Steven, and watch me carefully, okay?
HPHolo-Pearl
"Parry! Parry! Thrust! Parry! Parry! Thrust!"
Do you see what I'm doing with my feet, Steven? [Steven is starting to wind down for a beat] Notice where I keep my center of gravity.
Aw! Can you show me something cool? Like the Boomerang Blade!
Steven... you know that's not a real sword technique!
Boomerang Blade! Boomerang Blade!! BOOMERANG BLADE!!
Steven, these are real sword techniques! Not those silly things from your movies! It's about waiting carefully for the perfect moment to—
HPHolo-Pearl
(SHIK!!) "THRUST!!" [Pearl grunts, Steven gasps]
[angle on Steven with shadows of Holo-Pearl's sword and stabbed Pearl, with the latter dropping her sword]
..Wh-whoopsie-daisy! Steven, it's okay. I'm gonna be just—
[Pearl explodes into a cloud of vapor with her gemstone slumps on the ground]
NNOOOOOO!!! [cradles her gemstone, crying] Pearl?! Pearl!!
HPHolo-Pearl
"Challenger defeated. Level one failed!"
Introducing the finest in luxury transportation... Lion!
LLion
[yawns and lays down]
Aw, you little goofball. [Walks over to Lion and presses his face into his mane]
[Lifts his face out of Lion's mane] Lion is sort of like a pet. He does his own thing most of the time, though.
LLion
[Chomping on something; The shot switches to a half-eaten crystal iguana by Lion's paws]
See? Who KNOWS where he got that?
Wow, Steven. Everything in your life is so awesome and magical. [Connie picks up a stick] The most exciting thing in my life is tennis practice. [She gets into a stance and swings the stick from her left to her right] Forehand! [She swings the stick from her right and back to her left] Backhand! [She brings the stick to the center of her body, bringing it up and then slamming it down] Overhead death strike!
[Picks up the stick again] Well, I made up that last one.
I think Lion says we should hurry up and go. Or maybe he was just yawning. [Steven and Connie blink and stare at each other for a few seconds, then Steven throws his arms up into the air] Anyways, let's go to the movie!
I've got bad news, everyone. You've all been banned from Fish Stew Pizza.
That pizza wasn't even good.
Aren't you guys upset about this?
But these are our neighbors!
There's nothing we can do about that now.
Now we have to figure out a way to take care of that pufferfish.
What's the point of saving people if they're just gonna ban you from their pizza shops?
We don't do it for thanks.
Yeah, see! That's so nice of you, the Pizzas don't even know! If they got to know you they'd see how fun [Amethyst], and smart [Pearl], and mysterious you are [Garnet]!
Hmm. [gasp] I know! I'll throw a little party on the beach in front of the temple! Just us and the Pizzas.
I don't know, Steven. I mean...
Don't worry! I'll take care of everything!
[playing "Golf Quest Mini" as Prof. Sandtraps] "I can't lose! I am the greatest golfer in the UNIVER-R-R-RSE!!!" [imitates explosion sounds; "secret ending unlocked"] All right! Secret ending! [the Gems warp back]
AAce
[in-game] "Project F.L.O.G.? That's 'golf' backwards. [pushes button, enters room with what seems to be a cryogenic capsule] What is this?"
[pops in front of his face] Hey, Steven! Wanna hear about where we've been?
[grunts, moves her hair out of the way] Wait! Wait, hold on!
AAce
[wipes glass] "June 9th, 2014? But that was the day he disappeared."
[Amethyst rolls down in front] Hey!
Steven! [places an artifact] Look at this.
It's the Wailing Stone we found!
The Wailing Stone that I found.
Isn't it neat? It uses high-frequency soundwaves—
—as a message relay between two fixed points...
Look! You just have to push this!
[it suddenly emits an extremely scathing sound. The game ending continues playing before the TV breaks off in front of Steven. Pearl slams on the knob and stops]
Amethyst, I told you not to turn it on in the house!
[chuckles] Chill out, Pea! It's not like anyone got hurt and Steven loved it! [beat] ..Steven?
THAT WAS THE SECRET ENDING!! Now I have to replay the final dungeon all over again!! It's not fair!! I can't go mini-golfing, I can't play my game, I can't stop going into the bathroom because I ate all that cream corn! So much corn... [sighs] I just wish I had a place for myself. [Steven's gem starts glowing] Huh? My gem! [everyone then looks back; Rose's symbol starts glowing at the Temple Gate]
Rose's door... [unlocking sounds] Steven... your gem is opening your mother's room.
[the symbol grows and envelopes the gate into a doorway]
[walks to the door] Woah...!
PAPearl/Amethyst
Steven, wait!
Steven, don't go in there!
It's never about what I wanna do, is it?! Well, now I have a place where I'm going, and YOU—CAN'T—COME!!!
The Gems were trying to tell me something about Mom's room... but I was so mad I didn't listen. They're always leaving me behind, and... I guess I wanted to do it to them too.
..That's not so bad. Everyone needs some alone time now and then. Belelelerow! [munches donut]
[chuckles] Yeah, i-it was really fun for a while. But now... the whole city, everyone and everything is acting really weird.
Well, the important thing is you told the truth.
..Yeah, I... guess I did...
Belelelerow! [munches donut]
Uh, Dad? Y-Your advice is making less sense than usual.
Well, the important thing is family and friendship, honesty, values and no one got arrested. Belelelerow! [munches donut]
[Steven nervously looks at his donut for a long beat. He soon takes a bite and poofs in his mouth]
Aah! I'm still in the room! All of this—it's all a fakearoo!!
Whoa! What magical place of mysteries is this?
Oh, I'm so glad you asked! This was once a communication hub for Gem-kind, but lately, it's begun transmitting bursts of electromagnetic interference!
NOOOOOOO!!! I'll save you, television!! Hi-yah! [kicks, pushes a pillar]
[lifts him] Sorry, but we need a Steven at least [shapeshifts into a bigger macho Steven] this strong for this job!
[gasps] It's all the me I could be!
[Amethyst puts Steven down, punches the pillar thoroughly]
Amethyst, we could be here all day taking out each of these pillars individually.
Ugh! I hate it when you're right. You get this look on your face... Yeah, that's the one.
What we need is a well thought out plan—
No. What we need is Sugilite. Amethyst, fuse with me.
APAmethyst/Pearl
Whaaaat?!
[Amethyst starts screaming excitedly, Pearl looking fumed]
Yeah! Let's mash it up! Bigger, badder, better! Ohohohohohoh!
Hold your horses! Are... you guys going to become a Gem fusion?!
BBoth
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH—!!!
WAIT!! Garnet, think about this. You and Amethyst can be a little... unstable when your personalities combine. We need to be careful! Fuse with me instead!
[touches her shoulder] We don't need to be careful. We just need to be huge.
Oh, yeah! Let's wreck this joint!
Why do you have to look up to her, aside from in a literal sense?
Don't you know that a power that big comes with a bigger expense?
And can't you see that she's out of control and overzealous?
I'm telling you for your own good and not because I'm—
I could show you how to be strong... in the real way
And I know that we can be strong... in the real way
And I want to inspire you, I want to be your rock
And when I talk, it lights a fire in you...
[Steven turns on the faucet to wash the sand off his feet when Amethyst comes up to him with a cup of red french fries]
Hey, Steven. You wanna try some special new french fries? [offers him some]
[happily] Do I? [grabs and eats a handful; chuckles until his face turns red; screaming] HOT!
They're special because they're seasoned with… [takes out a vial of Fire Salt to show him] Fire Salt!
[Steven attempts to try and turn on the faucet, but accidentally breaks it off, dashes towards the Big Donut and enters, rushing to the soda fountain and sprays two types of soda into his mouth to soothe his burning mouth, also spilling out the soda to make a huge puddle on the floor]
Steven! What are you… [slips on the soda puddle and falls]
Ugh, Steven! Who do you think has to clean up this mess? [turns] Sadie, clean up this mess.
[annoyed] No way, it's your turn. I cleaned the last five "Stevens."
Aw, come on. That fall messed up my back. [rubs side] It hurts, really bad.
[rolls eyes and takes up mop and bucket] Fine. Move aside, I'll take care of this. Could you grab the soap? [Lars belts out an anguished groan]
[exaggerating, contorts body into pained position] Oh! It hurts! Sooo much!
[concerned] Maybe you should take the day off.
[snaps upright] Okay! You gonna be fine on your own?
[walking out] You’re the best Player Two! [leaves]
[bumps into Lars] Oof. hey Lars, thanks for inviting us over.
It’s no problem, [goofy laugh] cause I got the whole day off, by faking a severe back injury! [both Jenny and Sour Cream high-five him]
[disgusted] Ugh, he was faking this whole-- [notices an emotionally distraught Sadie, runs after her, and grabs her arm] Uh, don't worry! We can handle the Big Donut. Who needs crummy old Lars?
[emotional] Steven! He's made a fool of me! [to herself] IDIOT! [crying] He's burned me before... [angrily] just once, I'd like to burn him back!
[gets an idea] I know how to burn people!
Why is Steven in a Donut suit?
Don't worry about that. How's your back?
Oh, actually it still hurts like—
No, no, it's cool. I know I can count on you to help, "P2".
Sure. Just relax, in fact, why don't you have a donut? [presents him the donut dosed in Fire Salt]
Careful, it's a little hot.
[takes a bite of the donut] Hey, this is pretty good, is this a new flavor or something?
[cracks up, laughing] She said… she said it's hot!
Hey, why's donut guy breathing fire?
I tried to prank Lars but I used too much Fire Salt!
Steven, that's hilarious.
[struggling to talk, getting out words in between fire breaths] YOU… DID… THIS… TO ME?! [angrily begins chasing Steven around, setting the boardwalk aflame in the process, as Amethyst looks on, greatly amused and laughing]
It wasn't Steven! [approaching] It was me. [Lars appears surprised and lets Steven go]
Ohhh, now it's gettin' good!
After all I do for you, you LIE to me? So you can sneak off with some other girl?!
[from background] And other boys! [Lars, still struggling to breath, glares at Steven whom retreats behind cover]
[tearing up] That night we played video games, I don't know what it meant to you. But ever since then, I can't get the thought out of my head that you’re a good person. [grabs his hand] That night, I really thought…Player Two. Is that just your way of saying I could’ve been anyone?
[attempting to speak without breathing fire] Sadie-- [coughs]
Another day saved by Steven Universe, with the bonus musical stylings of Harold Smiley! You're welcome!
[Lars walks to Sadie to try and reason with her as she puts out the fires, turning his head away from facing her]
[in a strained voice while coughing] Uh, no! [wheezes] I want to help! But I get it if you want to be alone.
Done and done! Steven 2, you're the smart one. Steven 3, you're the funny one. Steven 4, you're the sensitive one. And I'm... [combs his front locks] the handsome one! Okay?
S4Steven 4
Okie-dokie artichoke!
Steven 4, what are you doing?! You're not the funny one! Steven 3 is!
S3Steven 3
Well, we're all the same person so we're all equally prone to being hilarious.
No, no, that was too smart an observation for you, 3! You're the funny one!
S2Steven 2
Wait, which one am I again?
Dang it, Number 2!! You're the smart one!!
S4Steven 4
Hey—if Steven 1 is the handsome one, does that mean the rest of us aren't good-looking?
S3Steven 3
No way! We're all extremely attractive!
S2Steven 2
Let's go get jobs as models!
Hey!! None of you are the handsome one! I'M THE HANDSOME ONE!! [all three Stevens dumb down] Uh— no! I didn't mean— We decided— [groans] Let's take five.
S2Steven 2/3/4
THERE'S A FIFTH STEVEN?!?!
NO!!! I MEAN A FIVE MINUTE BREAK!!!
S2Steven 2/3/4
[all chuckle] We know!
