Amethyst[pelted with water balloons] Ahh... It feels good to lose.
[clears throat] I certainly hope that's not the attitude you have during battle.
Amethyst
Ugh, you're no fun anymore. This is why we never form Opal.
We don't form Opal because you're difficult and a mess!
Amethyst
We don't form Opal because you're uptight and—
[jumps in between them] Guys! Guys!! What is Opal?
Amethyst
Oh, it's the two of us, mashed together.
[scoffs] Is water just hydrogen and oxygen "mashed" together?
Analogy wasted. Look here, Steven. [manipulates the sand to demonstrate] When we synchronize our forms, we can combine into a powerful fusion gem named Opal.
Amethyst
[stomps it] Except I don't dance like that.
Wow! That's so cool! But tell me more about Opal!
Amethyst
Well, Steven, she's an ultra-powerful, stone-cold Betty. That's part's me. And she's like, kinda tall—that part's Pearl.
What Amethyst is attempting to say is, Opal is an amalgam of our magical and physical attributes fused into a single entity.
Wow, can you do it right now?! Come on, form Opal!! [Amethyst scoffs]
We only form Opal when it's absolutely necessary.
So, was your mission a success?
I've located the geode beetles of Heaven and Earth. We should split up to retrieve them.
Amethyst
Well, I'm going with not Pearl.
That's perfect because I don't want go with grammatically incorrect people anyway.
You three go together. I go alone.
APAmethyst/Pearl
What?! Why?!
The Earth Beetle is at the bottom of the boiling lava lake, and only I can swim in lava. [summons goggles, straps itself] You'll find the Heaven Beetle at the top of the Sky Spire. It's safer.
Amethyst
You mean boring-er.
Amethyst
So you agree with me!
Ugh! Come on, you two, let's go. [Steven runs with Amethyst and Pearl to the warp pad]
Steven, be sure to keep the harmony.
No problem! Today's gonna be all about HAR-MON— [warps in and out] —NYYY—oomph!!
[dressed as a clown] Happy Birthday! Honk! [squeezes his red nose]
Amethyst
Steven, that is a brave look.
[almost starts to explain, then looks nervous] Oh geez, I'm breaking character. Wait, wait, wait! I wrote some jokes! [takes out some pages of jokes] "Why did Pearl throw butter out the window?"
Amethyst
[to Pearl] You did what?
[looking hurt] I never did that. Steven... are you telling lies?
Okay, there's no way you're not gonna love this! [gestures to three kiddie cars, then holds up a kazoo] It's kazoo racers! You get in a car, you play a kazoo! [blows kazoo, then holds up three more] What more could you want?! Dad used to do this for me every year.
[whispering to Garnet nervously] I think this is why aging makes humans die!
Steven, thank you for the birthday parties, but I don't think we'll need anymore.
Our age is only an illusion, and Pearl's pretty sure this ritual is more for human children.
[still nervous] Nothing against children!
Children? Everyone gets to have birthdays! Seriously, give it a try. You're never too old!
You're not too big! [trying to climb into a car] Y-y-you just get in, and then, uh...
Amethyst
[shapeshifts into a baby, in small war jeep] I can fit! Which way to the baby war? [driving] EAT TREAD, DIRTBAGS!
[after a rapidly-ageing Steven is close to dying with Crystal Gems arguing in tears]
Would you guys just... please... [regresses into young man] control yourselves?! [beat] Uh... oh, no... [regresses into teen] Oh, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have yelled! But I can't stand to see you [transforms to young man] freaking out like this!
Your age is fluctuating! I think your gem is reacting to your state of mind!
Amethyst
STEVEN!! STOP FEELING OLD!!
[regresses into teen] But I wasted your time! [transforms into old man] We all have such little time...
You have to feel like yourself! Sweet and considerate and only occasionally obnoxious!
[regresses into teen] You really think I'm all those things?
Amethyst
Why else would you throw us all those parties?!
Oh my gosh! You're right! [regresses back, to his old self] I am pretty great.
Oh, Steven! [Pearl and Amethyst rush to hug him] Steven!
We'll work on the rest... later. [Steven pulls up his shirt to reveal he still has full grown legs, laughs nervously]
[walks up Beach House, groans] Stupid Dave Guy, got no future, your haircut's gross, you smell bad... [Amethyst laughs]
Amethyst
You talking about Pearl?
No, I'm talking about dumb old Dave Guy. I mean, just look at him. Does it look like his life is going anywhere?
Amethyst
Ehh, cut him a break. Maybe this is the year he gets his life together. Maybe he'll get a cool internship.
Tch... I doubt it! I can't even trade 30 Dave Guys with Onion to get one Ranger Guy.
Amethyst
So you need more of that little man to get some other little man.
Yeah! And the machine is sold out of 'em. [Amethyst holds a bubble-looking stick] What is that?
Amethyst
Pearl's replicator wand. You can use it to make copies of stuff. Your magic. I'm sure you can figure out how to use it.
Have you been sitting here all day with this in your hair?
Amethyst
Nah, I got up to look for Pearl's dumb axe but found that instead. Then I replicated a bunch of garbage and stuffed it all in Pearl's room. [sniggers sinisterly]
HPHolo-Pearl
"Do you wish to battle again?"
[running around her] Pearl!! That was amazing! You were so cool!
Oh-ho-ho, well... one does try their best.
Will you teach me to sword fight like you?
[chuckles] All right. But we should start with the basics. [clears throat] Initiate training mode. [Holo-Pearl stands]
HPHolo-Pearl
"Training mode initiated. Level one, begin!"
I want you to stand back, Steven, and watch me carefully, okay?
HPHolo-Pearl
"Parry! Parry! Thrust! Parry! Parry! Thrust!"
Do you see what I'm doing with my feet, Steven? [Steven is starting to wind down for a beat] Notice where I keep my center of gravity.
Aw! Can you show me something cool? Like the Boomerang Blade!
Steven... you know that's not a real sword technique!
Boomerang Blade! Boomerang Blade!! BOOMERANG BLADE!!
Steven, these are real sword techniques! Not those silly things from your movies! It's about waiting carefully for the perfect moment to—
HPHolo-Pearl
(SHIK!!) "THRUST!!" [Pearl grunts, Steven gasps]
Amethyst
Whoa!
[angle on Steven with shadows of Holo-Pearl's sword and stabbed Pearl, with the latter dropping her sword]
..Wh-whoopsie-daisy! Steven, it's okay. I'm gonna be just—
[Pearl explodes into a cloud of vapor with her gemstone slumps on the ground]
NNOOOOOO!!! [cradles her gemstone, crying] Pearl?! Pearl!!
HPHolo-Pearl
"Challenger defeated. Level one failed!"
Amethyst
Hey, Steven!
I've got bad news, everyone. You've all been banned from Fish Stew Pizza.
Amethyst
That pizza wasn't even good.
Aren't you guys upset about this?
But these are our neighbors!
There's nothing we can do about that now.
Now we have to figure out a way to take care of that pufferfish.
What's the point of saving people if they're just gonna ban you from their pizza shops?
We don't do it for thanks.
Yeah, see! That's so nice of you, the Pizzas don't even know! If they got to know you they'd see how fun [Amethyst], and smart [Pearl], and mysterious you are [Garnet]!
Hmm. [gasp] I know! I'll throw a little party on the beach in front of the temple! Just us and the Pizzas.
Amethyst
I don't know, Steven. I mean...
Don't worry! I'll take care of everything!
[playing "Golf Quest Mini" as Prof. Sandtraps] "I can't lose! I am the greatest golfer in the UNIVER-R-R-RSE!!!" [imitates explosion sounds; "secret ending unlocked"] All right! Secret ending! [the Gems warp back]
AAce
[in-game] "Project F.L.O.G.? That's 'golf' backwards. [pushes button, enters room with what seems to be a cryogenic capsule] What is this?"
Amethyst
[pops in front of his face] Hey, Steven! Wanna hear about where we've been?
[grunts, moves her hair out of the way] Wait! Wait, hold on!
AAce
[wipes glass] "June 9th, 2014? But that was the day he disappeared."
[Amethyst rolls down in front] Hey!
Steven! [places an artifact] Look at this.
Amethyst
It's the Wailing Stone we found!
The Wailing Stone that I found.
Isn't it neat? It uses high-frequency soundwaves—
—as a message relay between two fixed points...
Amethyst
Look! You just have to push this!
[it suddenly emits an extremely scathing sound. The game ending continues playing before the TV breaks off in front of Steven. Pearl slams on the knob and stops]
Amethyst, I told you not to turn it on in the house!
Amethyst
[chuckles] Chill out, Pea! It's not like anyone got hurt and Steven loved it! [beat] ..Steven?
THAT WAS THE SECRET ENDING!! Now I have to replay the final dungeon all over again!! It's not fair!! I can't go mini-golfing, I can't play my game, I can't stop going into the bathroom because I ate all that cream corn! So much corn... [sighs] I just wish I had a place for myself. [Steven's gem starts glowing] Huh? My gem! [everyone then looks back; Rose's symbol starts glowing at the Temple Gate]
Rose's door... [unlocking sounds] Steven... your gem is opening your mother's room.
[the symbol grows and envelopes the gate into a doorway]
[walks to the door] Woah...!
PAPearl/Amethyst
Steven, wait!
Steven, don't go in there!
It's never about what I wanna do, is it?! Well, now I have a place where I'm going, and YOU—CAN'T—COME!!!
Whoa! What magical place of mysteries is this?
Amethyst
Well—
Oh, I'm so glad you asked! This was once a communication hub for Gem-kind, but lately, it's begun transmitting bursts of electromagnetic interference!
NOOOOOOO!!! I'll save you, television!! Hi-yah! [kicks, pushes a pillar]
Amethyst
[lifts him] Sorry, but we need a Steven at least [shapeshifts into a bigger macho Steven] this strong for this job!
[gasps] It's all the me I could be!
[Amethyst puts Steven down, punches the pillar thoroughly]
Amethyst, we could be here all day taking out each of these pillars individually.
Amethyst
Ugh! I hate it when you're right. You get this look on your face... Yeah, that's the one.
What we need is a well thought out plan—
No. What we need is Sugilite. Amethyst, fuse with me.
APAmethyst/Pearl
Whaaaat?!
[Amethyst starts screaming excitedly, Pearl looking fumed]
Amethyst
Yeah! Let's mash it up! Bigger, badder, better! Ohohohohohoh!
Hold your horses! Are... you guys going to become a Gem fusion?!
Amethyst
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
BBoth
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH—!!!
WAIT!! Garnet, think about this. You and Amethyst can be a little... unstable when your personalities combine. We need to be careful! Fuse with me instead!
[touches her shoulder] We don't need to be careful. We just need to be huge.
Amethyst
Oh, yeah! Let's wreck this joint!
[Steven turns on the faucet to wash the sand off his feet when Amethyst comes up to him with a cup of red french fries]
Amethyst
Hey, Steven. You wanna try some special new french fries? [offers him some]
[happily] Do I? [grabs and eats a handful; chuckles until his face turns red; screaming] HOT!
Amethyst
They're special because they're seasoned with… [takes out a vial of Fire Salt to show him] Fire Salt!
[Steven attempts to try and turn on the faucet, but accidentally breaks it off, dashes towards the Big Donut and enters, rushing to the soda fountain and sprays two types of soda into his mouth to soothe his burning mouth, also spilling out the soda to make a huge puddle on the floor]
Steven! What are you… [slips on the soda puddle and falls]
Ugh, Steven! Who do you think has to clean up this mess? [turns] Sadie, clean up this mess.
[annoyed] No way, it's your turn. I cleaned the last five "Stevens."
Aw, come on. That fall messed up my back. [rubs side] It hurts, really bad.
[rolls eyes and takes up mop and bucket] Fine. Move aside, I'll take care of this. Could you grab the soap? [Lars belts out an anguished groan]
[exaggerating, contorts body into pained position] Oh! It hurts! Sooo much!
[concerned] Maybe you should take the day off.
[snaps upright] Okay! You gonna be fine on your own?
[walking out] You’re the best Player Two! [leaves]
Amethyst
Hey, why's donut guy breathing fire?
I tried to prank Lars but I used too much Fire Salt!
Amethyst
Steven, that's hilarious.
[struggling to talk, getting out words in between fire breaths] YOU… DID… THIS… TO ME?! [angrily begins chasing Steven around, setting the boardwalk aflame in the process, as Amethyst looks on, greatly amused and laughing]
It wasn't Steven! [approaching] It was me. [Lars appears surprised and lets Steven go]
Amethyst
Ohhh, now it's gettin' good!
After all I do for you, you LIE to me? So you can sneak off with some other girl?!
[from background] And other boys! [Lars, still struggling to breath, glares at Steven whom retreats behind cover]
[tearing up] That night we played video games, I don't know what it meant to you. But ever since then, I can't get the thought out of my head that you’re a good person. [grabs his hand] That night, I really thought…Player Two. Is that just your way of saying I could’ve been anyone?
[attempting to speak without breathing fire] Sadie-- [coughs]
Can't you see it in our eyes
We're the one, we're the—ONE, [all Gems] TWO, THREE, FOUR!!
We're not like the other guys
Amethyst
We're not like anybody
By the way, don't go back in time
Or you'll destroy yourselves
[tends to a tiny Centipeedle] Uhh, hi. Ah, it's okay. Look, please don't be scared of me. See? I'm not gonna hurt you. Yeah, just relax. [the Centipeetle soon relaxes itself] Yeah, that's it. Doesn't relaxing feel nice? You wanna... come over here and relax with me? [it growls] Yeah, we can totally just hang out right here on the floor. [it walks slowly forward] Yeah, don't be shy. We can be friends. My name's Steve—
STEVEN!! Get away from that thing!! [Garnet jumps]
Amethyst
Whoa, dude!
Wait! It's not— [Garnet lands down in front of the Centipeedle; Pearl lands to Steven]
This was a terrible idea! And he's even managed to pop a bubble and let out that awful... thing!
[Garnet clutches her sparkling left gauntlet at the Centipeedle, which starts backing away from her]
If that thing hurt you, so help me I'll—
No! It didn't do anything! [runs and blocks Garnet] Garnet! Don't hurt it! I accidentally let it out of its bubble, but it didn't even try to hurt me. It's not like the other monsters, it's just scared and confused. [Amethyst jumps down] Please, Garnet! I'm begging you!
[Garnet stares face-to-face with Steven for a beat]
I can't say no to that face.
Excuse me?! You can't be serious!
I think you should try and tame it, Steven. [Steven runs to Garnet and hugs her left leg]
Garnet, thank you sooo much!
Hmm... [Amethyst starts laughing]
Amethyst
Shut down by the G-squad! Ha ha ha ha!!
Well, let's at least take some precaution.
So, what's the problem? Amethyst falls on stuff all the time.
It'd be fine if it was just her body, but her gem is damaged.
So, what do you do to fix it?
Before... we had Rose... [Garnet walks to Steven]
Steven, your mother had healing tears that flowed from her gem. She felt real love for those around her, and she felt real sorrow when they were hurt. You have the Rose Quartz gem now. I know that power is in you too. [Steven comes to googly-eyed purple eggplant girl who is sassy and lazy and eats salsa all day]
AMETHYST, SHOW ME YOUR GEM!!!
Amethyst
Yeah, alright.
[vines wrap around Steven, leaps out in a burst of roses. Cut back to Steven straining in front of Amethyst]
It's not working! I guess I'm just too tough to cry.
Just today, you were crying about snakes.
They don't have any arms!
We have no choice. We need to take Amethyst to Rose's Healing Spring.
Amethyst
Pssh! Guys, I'm fine! I'm not gonna get any wor-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r... [pop, speaks backwards] ...hcaeb eht no gniod uoy era tahw syug yeh?
Steven Universe · 493 quotes
