Steven Universe quotes from Steven Universe

[sighs] If no one has anything else to say, and everyone else is innocent… Steven, I'm going to have to punish you.

Steven

No! Not punishment! [sighs sadly]

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[Sadie, Lars and Steven walk out of the island to a seaside]

Steven

Welcome to paradise!

Oh, Steven... it's beautiful here.

It's a beach! We live on a beach!

Steven

It's a magical beach!

[fumbles phone] Is that why my phone has no reception? Why were you even here?!

Steven

We came here to look for a dangerous gem creature that we never found...

..Yep. I'm going.

Huh? Lars! Wait! Lars... this could actually be kind of fun!

If I'm going to be bored out of my mind and possibly die, I'm gonna go to work and get paid for it. [stops to find warp pad missing] Okay, where is it?

Steven

What?

The teleporter thing! Where is it?!

Oh, i-it wouldn't disappear... would it?

Steven

No, no, no... Well, maybe.

WHAT!?!

Steven

It's okay! The Gems'll come to save us when they see I'm missing! Eventually...

STEVEN!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!?! WE'RE STRANDED!!

Calm down! Is this really the worst place to be stuck in? [view on a waterfall and butterflies]

Ugh! You calm down. I'm gonna find better reception.

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[stroking Sadie's hand; tearing up] Sadie? Do you ever get lonely, even when you're around people? [Sadie nodes yes; presses his lips into her mouth and they both start kissing]

Steven

[singing] Why don't you let yourself just be…

LSLars & Sadie

STEVEN!

[annoyed] How long have you been watching us?!

Don't you know what privacy is?!

Steven

People walk in and out of my room all the time.

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[glares angrily at Sadie, realizing she hid the Warp Pad in a pile of leaves] You knew! [wrenches his arm away from her]

Steven

Uh, guys?

It's her fault we've been trapped here! [points angrily at Sadie]

Steven

[shocked] WHAAAAAAT?!

Look, I panicked! I hid the Warp Pad! You were just gonna leave, but I knew how much you really needed this! Why don't you ever let me help you?!

Help me?! Are you insane?! You trapped me on an island, so you could come on to me! [sulks]

[screams in aggravation and starts slapping him] You kissed me on the mouth!

No, I didn't!

Steven

Guys, I want to be mad too, but can we do it on the Warp Pad?!

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[entering the lighthouse] You're ready for what I've found... the cause of Beach City's paranormal activity.

Steven

Wait, what?

Welcome to my office. Go that way. [Steven walks in that direction] Welcome... to the truth.

[Steven then sees a large board with several newspaper clips and "Snake People" written in large letters on it]

Steven

"Snake People"?!

Snake People, or "Sneeple", control our government at the highest level. Look. [shows a dollar bill] The snake represents their hold on our country. The diamond represents their underground mines, or their sharp teeth... th-the details aren't important. They pit us mammals against each other with elections, sports, and anime message boards. We spend so much time fighting over dubs or subs that we miss the big picture!

Steven

..What's that?

That the world is under their control.

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Steven

[on the balcony] Ronaldo?

Steven! Did you see this crater? I think the Snake People might have left it as a sign.

Steven

Yeah... Uh, Ronaldo?

[turns back] Yes, Steven?

Steven

Are you... totally sure about this Snake People thing?

Steven, are you having doubts?

Steven

Not really just... doubts... I found out those weird holes in the cliff were 'cause of something me and the Gems did.

Well, okay, but those red rocks—

Steven

That was us...

But... the flowers!

Steven

Us too.

But... but the truth!

Steven

Maybe the truth just isn't what you thought it was.

Sure it is! Don't get so hung up on these minor facts! Truth is about more than that! Truth is a feeling in your gut that you know is true! Truth is searching for anything that proves you're right no matter how small, and holding on to that, no matter what.

Steven

That kinda sounds like the opposite of truth.

Look! The proof! This cast will show the true face of this conspiracy! [holds up cast which looks exactly like Steven] Oh, wha-huh?

Steven

That's probably from Steven Tag.

What!?!

Steven

It's a game where... when I tag one of the Gems, they— [Ronaldo cuts him off]

I'm really not at the center of anything... I'm nothing.

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Steven

Garnet, quick! You have to pretend to be my mom to Connie's mom. [hands her the phone]

[deadpan] Hello. This, is Mom Universe. [pause] Yes. The children are playing swords. Sorry, playing with swords. They're bleeding. Oh no, they are dead. Don't call again. [hangs up] Sorry, I panicked.

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Steven

Man, why did Connie have to say I have one mother instead of zero... or three?

Greg

We'll figure this thing out. We just have to put our heads together.

Steven

(gets an idea) Why didn't I think of this before? It's so obvious! You can all come to dinner -- all three of you, fused into ONE! (snaps finger)

What?!

Whoa!

What?

Steven, you know we only fuse in deadly situations!

Steven

It'd be like—like I'm actually bringing my whole family!

That's insane.

Fusion is serious magic, not a trick for dinner parties.

Steven

I know. Then I guess this is it. I'll never get to see Connie again. Oh, Connie! I'll never know a star that shines as bright as you.

(sighs) We have no choice.

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Steven

Things are going pretty good so far, huh?

[with her hands on her head] Steven, are you kidding me?! What is this thing that you brought to dinner?!

Steven

It-it's my family. It's all the gems fused together into a six-armed, giant woman.

Why couldn't you just bring one of the gems?

Steven

'Cause that would be a lie.

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So, Steven was telling me that on his mom's apple farm, they're bio-engineering a gala-fuji hybrid.

Steven

Yes, that's definitely true.

Isn't that right, Mrs. Universe?

Alexandrite

(sniffs) Ugh! What are you doing? I'm hungry!! I don't think so. Cut it out, you two.

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Steven

Where's this bus taking us?

Wherever we end up. We'll find a way to survive. I've been reading about sustainable living.

Steven

Maybe it'll take us to a real apple farm!

What's up with you and apples today?

[They both hear thumping sounds and look out the back window and see Alexandrite is running after them]

Alexandrite

STEVE-E-E-N! [Steven and Connie scream; picks up the bus] You two, come out of that bus this instant!

Steven

Aah! Okay! J-just put the bus down first.

[Back at The Crab Shack; the two kids are reunited with their families as they begin to rebuke them]

MDr. Maheswaran

I don't even know where to begin with you, young la--

Pearl

What were you thinking, running off with Connie like that? You could have gotten yourselves hurt!

Or gotten mangled in traffic.

Or thrown in prison.

Pearl

Steven, you are in very big trouble, and we have no choice but to punish you.

Steven

But...

No dinner for 1,000 years.

Steven

(sad expression) 1,000?

Pearl

We would never starve you, but you will lose your TV privileges… for 1,000 years.

Steven

No! The midseason pre-finale of "Under the Knife"! How can you do this to me?!

Greg

Because we love you, Steven.

MDr. Maheswaran

Wow. That was a masterful use of the "because we love you" shutdown. I'm quite partial to the "It's for your own good!" myself.

MMr. Maheswaran

That "1,000 years of no dinner" bit, was pretty funny. [laughs]

All comedy is derived from fear.

MMr. Maheswaran

[laughs] You are too much.

MDr. Maheswaran

I did not know what to make of the two of- Excuse me, four of you, but I see that you are responsible parents. Uh, caregivers? Guardians.

So, I can still hang out with Steven?

MDr. Maheswaran

Sure.

Steven

Alright!

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Steven

Steven bomb! [jumps on top of Garnet and lands on her hair, still giggling] I got you!

You got me.

Steven

[covers Garnet's shades] And now you're blind!

Tiny hands. [picks Steven up and holds him in front of her] My only weakness.

Steven

[notices the bubbled gem that Garnet is holding] Whoa! What did you do today?

Tell me what you think I did.

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Steven

[narrating] And so, Garnet used the gem to return the Foxman to his original form. And as for Ringo? He stay trapped in the Ringo Zone… forever. That day, Garnet learned a valuable lesson: that being strong was about more than just how many mountains you could punch in half. It was about love. And there was no greater love than Garnet's love for Steven. [back at the house] And then you came back here, and I got you, and you were blind. And that's what you did today!

Yeah, that's pretty much what happened.

Steven

[smiles] Really?

No.

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Steven

Everyone! Please! Stop! I'm okay, look! You don't have to fight anymore!

HELP!

[Amethyst has been dogpiled by Watermelon Stevens while two nearby dig a hole]

They're gonna put me in the ground! [sobbing] No! [A Watermelon Steven appears with a bouquet] THOSE FLOWERS ARE LOVELY! AAHHH!

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[Steven dreams himself playing checkers with Dogcopter on an island. Dogcopter places a chess piece on his tile]

DDogcopter

I win.

Steven

Oh, what? That was a good move!

DDogcopter

Thanks.

Steven

Dogcopter, how do you do it?

DDogcopter

How do I do what?

Steven

I mean, what's your secret? How'd you get so talented?

DDogcopter

Don't focus so much on talent, Steven. Making art is all about communication. A piece of art is a conversation. Every choice you make is a statement. [eats, munches chess piece] Don't worry about labels or conforming to a standard. Just be true to yourself, and people will appreciate your honesty. [gulps it] Ahh.

Steven

Whoa. Thanks for the advice.

DDogcopter

And take a deep breath.

Steven

What?