Stargate SG-1 · Season 8
[As O'Neill and Jackson walk down the hall, Jackson finishes up a long, involved explanation of Jaffa-Goa'uld politics. O'Neill has a blank look on his face]
What was my question again?
Um, "how's it going?"
[absently] Seemed so innocuous at the time.
[Teal'c and Bra'tac have returned through the Stargate]
So, how was the trip?
[walking away] I have been betrayed by those I trusted most.
That good, huh?
His mood is foul indeed.
They want a what?
A goat, sir.
You can tell them that lamb is far less gamy.
They want it for a ritual sacrifice.
Yeah, well you can tell them that's not going to happen.
Yeah, I was hoping you were going to say that.
They can have a piñata. That's always fun.
Look, T, I'm not gonna tell you how to raise your kid, but I've always found that sticking your fingers in your ears and humming loudly solves a whole slew of problems.
[Dr. Jackson is attempting to calm the outraged Jaffa when Bra'tac and O'Neill enter]
Silence!
Thank you. Now, Daniel, what's going on here?
[The Jaffa resume their shouting]
Silence!
I said, "Daniel".
[to the newly married Rya'c and Ka'ryn] May you love and fight like warriors. Just not with each other.
[after Ka'ryn and Ry'ac abruptly end their wedding rehearsal] I can see why one must rehearse these ceremonies... [he quaffs the ceremonial wine from the rehearsal]
They'll never see it coming.
Which is one of the advantages of a totally insane idea.
[innocently] Yeah, where'd I learn that from?
Wait, you mean the Asgard took our gate?
Yeah, normally they ask nicely before they ignore us and do whatever they damn well want.
[staring down at the gate-less gate room] Man, I'd hate to be the one that has to explain that to the President.
[O'Neill, standing next to him, turns and glares]
My name is Samantha Carter.
All right, we've got a little conflict with that statement. We've already got one here.
There are two of us.
[to himself] If only.
You have untapped greatness inside you, Sam, but you're limited by your own fears. You play by the rules, you do as you're told and you deny yourself your own desires.
I have no desire to rule the galaxy, believe me.
All humans desire power. It's just that most of them are never in a position to attain it.
Come on, Jack!
Still no, Daniel.
But it doesn't have to be on a permanent basis!
I didn't let you go in the first place. What makes you think I'm gonna change my mind?
Because.
Can you try to do better than that?
Because they're going to need somebody who can translate Ancient. I'm the most qualified person left on the planet for the mission.
Which is exactly why you're gonna stay right here.
[desperately] Because I'll quit!
Why don't you just hold your breath? You haven't done that in a while.
[Jack and Daniel are arguing over Daniel going to Atlantis and find General Hammond in Jack's chair in his office.]
General!
Jack. I let myself in, hope you don't mind.
Absolutely not! Welcome.
Thank you.
Miss the chair?
Actually I do.
Want it back?
As a matter of fact I do. My new one just isn't the same.
That's not exactly what I meant...
Doctor Jackson. Nice to see you again.
Likewise. We miss you around here, sir. [Jack gives him an angry stare] So, to what do we owe this pleasure?
I came to see if you were interested in joining the mission to Atlantis.
Gen. O'Neill & Daniel Jackson: You did?
He's the most qualified person on this planet, and the mission commander needs someone who can translate Ancient.
Really?
With all due respect, sir, I think you should tell the mission commander that I need Daniel right here.
You just did.
I did. I did? [pauses] You, sir?
Yes. Request denied. Doctor Jackson, you're with me. I'll have this chair shipped to Washington. You can requisition a new one.
I'll do that, sir.
We leave tomorrow. Oh, and I'll be taking Walter, too.
[Hammond leaves, while O'Neill wears the expression of one who has no idea what just happened]
[A Kull warrior has taken over the Prometheus, and has Jackson tied to the captain's chair.]
Where's everybody else?
I transported them onto the al'kesh.
Well, you kept the wrong guy, 'cause I don't know anything about the ship.
But you are very attractive.
[coughs in shock] What?
[The warrior moves in front of Daniel and straddles his legs]
[trying to squirm away] Hey, you know, big guy, I'm flattered, really I am, it's just that, uh, you're not my type. And I'm more than a little disturbed that I might be yours.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate SG-1 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
