Are you ready, O'Neill?
No. Give me a warning.
I am going to shoot you.
I was thinking more along the lines of "on three." One—
[Teal'c shoots O'Neill with a Zat'nik'tel. O'Neill falls to the floor]
[in pain] Two!...God, I said on three. God.
S4 E19Prodigy
[O'Neill enters General Hammond's office. Hammond is having a discussion with General Michael E. Ryan.]
I'd like to talk to you about this mission upon which we're about to embark. It seems... a bit ridiculous, doesn't it?
[General Hammond does not respond. After a short pause, O'Neill turns to General Ryan]
So what brings you to our little secret base, sir?
GRGen. Ryan
That would be the ridiculous mission you just mentioned.
[Slight pause, O'Neill looks uncomfortable]
The General Ryan?
GRGen. Ryan
I've read a lot about you Colonel.
[tentatively] Yes, Sir?
GRGen. Ryan
Thus far, we like your work.
Thank you Sir! I like yours. Your Air Force. The Air Force. I love the Air Force...
GHGen. Hammond
Anything else, Colonel?
No, sir. Well, actually, I'd like to know how Daniel and Carter got out of this...very important mission.
Colonel O'Neill doesn't have a clue what we're trying to accomplish here, he's too busy polishing his M16.
Actually, it's a P90.
When I agreed to this assignment I was under the impression that I was going to be in charge.
You are in charge. Of the other scientists.
What were you thinking, breaking the nose of an upperclassman like that?
Swing high?
[Carter and Hailey come through the Stargate as O'Neill greets them]
Sir, I'd like you to meet Cadet Hailey.
Cadet. Welcome to 862. How was your trip?
[in shock] It was a...a trip, sir.
It always is.
I've been going over Dr. Thompson's astronomical observations. Did you know this moon wasn't even formed from the original accretion disk of the planet?
No, but I suspected.
As soon as I get the Gate open, head straight for it. Don't bring anything with you.
Oh no we can't leave behind weeks of research.
Carter, if he so much as brings a file folder, shoot him!
Yes Sir.
S4 E20Entity
[To Teal'c] You look tense.
No, I'd say anxious.
I am neither tense nor anxious. Perhaps concerned.
GHGen. Hammond
What's it doing? [About the MALP]
Flying, sir.
MALPs can't fly.
Apparently they can.
Shouldn't there be a memo on this stuff?
They may be trying to communicate.
They?
Well, whoever they are.
Exactly.
What?
For the record Sir, I want to blow it to hell, these folks wanna chat with it.
Any idea what that was?
None, Sir. The secondary systems are up and running but that was one hell of an EM spike. I'd like to run a full systems diagnostic on the main computer.
FDr. Frasier
Yeah, after I treat this hand.
As soon as I get the systems up…
FDr. Frasier
It is a very bad burn, Sam.
Five minutes.
FDr. Frasier
Now!
Do as the Doctor says.
Yes, Sir.
FDr. Frasier
Thank you Colonel. You, Daniel and Teal'c are next.
COCol. O'Neill and Dr. Jackson
What? We're…I'm fine.
FDr. Frasier
Yeah well I would like to be the judge of that. Some form of energy came through the Stargate. I think it's only prudent to make sure there are no physiological effects to those exposed. ASAP.
Who put her in charge?
GHGen. Hammond
The US Air Force.
In medical matters, Dr. Fraiser may overrule those of any rank.
I'm not getting all my memos.
GHGen. Hammond
Teal'c, do you recognize any of this?
I do not, General Hammond.
GHGen. Hammond
Daniel?
I don't recognize it either.
Nope, neither do I. [Everyone looks at him] I'm just sayin'.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate SG-1 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.