Stargate SG-1 quotes

Col. O'Neill

Next time I tell you to shut up...!

Dr. Jackson

I didn't hear you tell me to shut up.

Col. O'Neill

Too subtle for ya?

Dr. Jackson

Well, for once, yes. Would you hear me out?

Col. O'Neill

Carter, our standing orders, what are they?

Maj. Carter

To seek new allies and procure technologies to aid in the defense against the Goa'uld.

Col. O'Neill

And have we carried out those orders?

Dr. Jackson

We came here to help them!

Teal'c

Is that not what we are doing, Daniel Jackson?

Dr. Jackson

No. Their whole world is in flames and we are offering them gasoline. How is that help?

Teal'c

We are in fact offering water.

Col. O'Neill

[to Teal'c] Thank you!

Dr. Jackson

I was speaking metaphorically.

Col. O'Neill

Well, stop it! It's not fair to Teal'c.

Col. O'Neill

So, what's your impression of Alar?

Teal'c

That he is concealing something.

Col. O'Neill

Like what?

Teal'c

I am unsure. He is concealing it.

Anise

You may call me Anise.

Dr. Jackson

Anise?

Anise

It means "Noble Strength".

Dr. Jackson

I'm Daniel. It means, uh, "God is my judge".

Col. O'Neill

I'm Jack. It means... what's in the box?

Anise

Your strength is five times that of a normal human.

Col. O'Neill

So, no increase then.

Dr. Jackson

I mean, it's just the most unbelievable, incredible thing I've ever experienced! I mean, I've cross-referenced the symbols on the armband against every written language on Earth in an hour!

Anise

What did you find?

Dr. Jackson

Well, nothing… but, you see, the point is… I can read really fast!

What can I get you?

Col. O'Neill

Uh, three of the biggest steaks you've got, with everything, rare, and a baked potato.

You got it! [She starts to walk off.]

Col. O'Neill

Excuse me… that was for me!

Dr. Jackson

Yeah, I'm going to have three as well.

Col. O'Neill

Four?

Dr. Jackson

Four… Four is good.

Maj. Carter

Me too, and french fries with mine… oh and a diet soda!

Maj. Carter

[defensively] I like the taste better!

Maj. Carter

So, has it occurred to anyone that we're defying a direct order?

Dr. Jackson

Well, it's not like we haven't defied orders before.

Maj. Carter

Yes, but that was to save Earth.

Col. O'Neill

Earth. Steaks. There's a difference?

Col. O'Neill

Well, this is a cliché.

I thought the devices were supposed to enhance them physically, not make them stupid.

The report said there was a brawl!

Col. O'Neill

More of a scuffle, sir.

: You're lucky you didn't kill any of those men!

Col. O'Neill

No, we were very careful about that, General.

Col. O'Neill

Should have brought more snacks.

Col. O'Neill

Just remember, I retired. You wanted me back.

Col. O'Neill

General, sir, about the obviously impending court martials...

You were all under the influence of an alien technology, Colonel. That's a pretty solid defense.

Col. O'Neill

Even so, I'm sorry.

Maj. Carter

Me too.

Dr. Jackson

Me three.

Teal'c

[smugly] I have no need to apologize.

Teal'c was actually following orders.

Col. O'Neill

Of course he was.

Col. O'Neill

Well, I guess now we can go back and tell General Hammond that the Tok'ra boned us again!

Col. O'Neill

Bra'tac... you've done something with your hair!