Jacob Carter quotes from Stargate SG-1

Jacob

[to Jackson] Yu will be among the System Lords attending the meeting.

I thought you said he'd be going in as a slave?

Jacob

The System Lord Yu.

Little joke there.

Col. O'Neill

[sarcastic] Funny!

Jacob

Just don't jab yourself with it.

Daniel Jackson

Why?

Jacob

Actually I don't know exactly. That in itself should scare you.

Jacob

Daniel? How's it going?

Dr. Jackson

Oh, swell. It's kinda like Goa'uld Mardi Gras here.

Dr. Jackson

You'd think a race advanced enough to fly around in space ships would be smart enough to have seat belts, huh?

Jacob

We just prefer not to crash.

Jacob Carter

You know, sometimes I get a little concerned that you're gonna get my favorite planet wiped out.

Col. O'Neill

Yes. What planet is that?

Well, whoever it is, we're dealing with an enemy we can't see. Without TERs to counter that technology, we're helpless.

Do you have the means to generate a high-frequency electromagnetic field?

I could modify the wave output of the naquadah reactor.

Within a range of 400 to 700 nanometers?

That might just excite the phase particles enough to bring them into our visible light spectrum.

Col. O'Neill

Carter?

Sir, the invisibility field must operate—

Col. O'Neill

Are you about to tell me that you can make the invisible guy vi—

Yes, sir.

Col. O'Neill

That's all I need.

Jacob Carter

If you can see it, you can shoot it.

Col. O'Neill

What's that?

Tretonin, sir.

Jonas

The drug the Pangarans offered us?

Col. O'Neill

Whoa! That's ground Goa'uld, isn't it?

Jacob Carter

It's a little more refined than that, Jack...

[adjusting Jacob's armor] How's that, sir?

Jacob

Pretty good. Reminds me of my old football days.

They had helmets back in those days, sir?

Jacob

Funny.

Jacob

Sam. Sam.

(grimacing) ugh.

Jacob

No lie still. Where does it hurt?

Everywhere.

Jacob

That's a good sign.

Have you not had your coffee this morning?

Jacob

... Selmak doesn't like coffee.

You gave up coffee for your symbiote?

Jacob!

Jacob

Jack, we've got a problem. We need to talk.

Hi! Hello. How are ya? Long time, no see. What's doing? What's up? Hey, buddy!

Jacob

I'm sorry, Jack. It's good to see you again. Congratulations on your promotion.

Thanks.

Jacob

You deserve it.

Yes. Well... What's up?

Jacob

The Replicators. They've launched an all out attack on the Goa'uld. If the Goa'uld can't find a way to stop them, the Replicators will easily overrun our galaxy, in a matter of weeks.

Why didn't you say so?

[after a pause, hurrying after Jacob] I'm sorry. You said we have a problem, not a big galactic emergency.

[holding up a Tok'ra receiver used to track down Goa'uld fleet] You know, we could have used something like this a long time ago.

Jacob

The High Council never thought they could trust you with it.

What changed their mind?

Jacob

Nothing. They don't know I took it.

Ah.

Jacob

My relationship with the council is still a little strained.

It's not going to get any better if you keep stealing stuff.

No complaints! I'll take anything I can get: Weapons, receivers, silverware...

Jacob

Come on, Sam. It can't be any harder than blowing up a sun.

You know, you blow up one sun and suddenly everyone expects you to walk on water.

Next up, parting the Red Sea!

Well, we have no idea how this Ancient device works or what the effects will be, but since Anubis has no real corporeal form it's likely he would survive it.

Jacob

He'll have no one left to rule.

For now. Time may not even be an issue for someone like him. He could essentially start over, re-populate the galaxy to his own specifications.

A little ambitious.

Dad, this is Pete.

[shocked] Dad?

Jacob

Not quite yet. You have to actually marry my daughter before you can call me that.