George Hammond quotes from Stargate SG-1

The Tok'ra have reason to believe that Sokar is preparing to launch a massive attack against the System Lords.

Col. O'Neill

Isn't that good news?

Teal'c

The chaotic and feudal nature of the System Lords fragmented rule is a far more vulnerable target than that of one all powerful Goa'uld.

Especially if that Goa'uld is Sokar.

He's really that much worse than the others?

Dr. Jackson

Of all the gods he picked to impersonate, he chose The Devil.

Are we absolutely sure that SG1 is—what's the word?

Sane?

That's the one.

Major?

Maj. Carter

Hi. I was just talking to Urgo, sir.

I see.

Maj. Carter

Oh, I wish you did.

[addressing the empty corridor behind Carter] Alright, Urgo, Major Carter would like to...

Maj. Carter

[gestures to her right] Doctor- He's over here, actually.

[addressing the empty space to Carter's right] Well then Urgo...Major Carter would very much like to be left alone.

Maj. Carter

As much as I appreciate it... please... Urgo, that is rude!

[with a shocked look] What did he say?

Can we determine what threat they pose?

Col. O'Neill

Apparently all desserts on base are in grave danger.

Col. O'Neill

Mmmm, mineral survey. My favorite.

Colonel.

Col. O'Neill

I know, General. It's all fun and games until someone breaks a nail.

Col. O'Neill

Au revoir, Mon General.

Teal'c

I am unfamiliar with that term, O'Neill.

Col. O'Neill

Au revoir. It's French. It means ciao. Ciao…means adios, auf Wiedersehen, sayonara, which all loosely translated means…

Col. O'Neill

Goodbye?

What happened?

Col. O'Neill

What happened?

That's what I just asked you. Will someone please tell me what's going on?

Major Carter

General...we just left.

You've been gone over 15 hours.

How's the retirement going?

Col. O'Neill

Uh, great. I retire, I wake up, I retire… It's a living. [pause] I'm bored out of my skull, sir.

Colonel, you don't seem to understand how serious this matter is. You and your team have committed a court-martiable offense.

Col. O'Neill

To be fair, General, I did it. Carter and Daniel protested. And Teal'c…well he really didn't say anything but I could tell he was opposed to my actions by the way he cocked his head and sort of raised his eyebrow… [he demonstrates, raising his eyebrow]

Col. O'Neill

Where's the fanfare, General?

Maj. Carter

We did kind of save the planet, sir.

Col. O'Neill

Again. This should not get old, General.

Job well done.

Col. O'Neill

Thank you, sir. It was nothing.

Col. O'Neill

I'd be happy to debrief you all after I've debriefed myself for a nice hot shower.

Permission to shower granted. In fact, I insist on it, Colonel.

Col. O'Neill

[to Jackson, quietly] Bad?

Dr. Jackson

I wasn't going to say anything.

Dr. Jackson

[to Thor] Wait a minute, you're actually saying that you need someone dumber than you are?

Col. O'Neill

You may have come to the right place.

Thor, with all due respect to your situation we need SG-1 here.

Maj. Carter

I could go, sir.

Col. O'Neill

I don't know, Carter. You may not be dumb enough.

Maj. Carter

I think I can handle it

The report said there was a brawl!

Col. O'Neill

More of a scuffle, sir.

: You're lucky you didn't kill any of those men!

Col. O'Neill

No, we were very careful about that, General.

Col. O'Neill

General, sir, about the obviously impending court martials...

You were all under the influence of an alien technology, Colonel. That's a pretty solid defense.

Col. O'Neill

Even so, I'm sorry.

Maj. Carter

Me too.

Dr. Jackson

Me three.

Teal'c

[smugly] I have no need to apologize.

Teal'c was actually following orders.

Col. O'Neill

Of course he was.

Col. O'Neill

We've done this!

Dr. Jackson

We do this every day.

Col. O'Neill

I'm not talking about briefings in general, Daniel, I'm talking about this briefing; I'm talking about this day.

Teal'c

Col. O'Neill is correct. Events do appear to be repeating themselves.

Dr. Jackson

Since when?

Col. O'Neill

Since we went to P4X-639.

Maj. Carter

We haven't been to P4X-639.

Col. O'Neill

Yes we have. [points at Dr. Jackson] No, we haven't. That's what you were going to say.

Dr. Jackson

Of course that's what I was going to say.

Col. O'Neill

Okay, bad example. Look, you'll all believe me when SG-12 comes through that gate in [he looks at his watch, ticking off seconds] four...three...two...one...

[calmly] SG-12 isn't due back for three days.

[over loudspeaker] Unscheduled off-world activation!

Col. O'Neill

[under his breath] So close.

[off, over the speaker] Colonel O'Neill, what the hell are you doing?!

Col. O'Neill

[turns to face the control room, which is behind and above the camera, shouts and gesticulates, frustrated] In the middle of my backswing?!