Samantha Carter quotes from Stargate SG-1

Lt. Col. Carter

Oh, I heard from Thor.

How's he doing?

Lt. Col. Carter

Great. He sends us all his congratulations and says that he'll drop by for a visit as soon as his consciousness has been downloaded from the ship's computer into a new body.

That just never gets old, does it?

All we know for sure is that he's missing.

Lt. Col. Carter

Sooner or later --

Forget it! I'm not fallin' for it this time.

Lt. Col. Carter

"Falling for it"?

Yeah! How many times have you thought he was gone, and then he shows up, in one form or another? I'm sorry, but we're not having a memorial service for someone who is not dead. [to the room] You hear that? I'm not buyin' it!

What? He's just waitin' for us to say a bunch of nice things about him. Next thing you know, he'll come waltzin' through that door, [gestures at the closed door] like, right now.

Waltzing… now.

Dad, this is Pete.

[shocked] Dad?

Jacob

Not quite yet. You have to actually marry my daughter before you can call me that.

It's been two hours since Pete left. You haven't said a word.

Jacob

I did so.

"He seems nice?"

Jacob

I believe that's three words.

Lt. Col. Carter

This is great.

I told you.

Lt. Col. Carter

I can't believe we didn't do this years ago.

Well, lets not dwell.

Lt. Col. Carter

...There are no fish in this pond, are there?

Nope.

Dr. Jackson

We don't know where it is now. But we do know where it was... Giza, 3000 B.C.

Lt. Col. Carter

[shaking her head] You can't be serious.

What?

Dr. Jackson

It's the only way.

What?

Lt. Col. Carter

No, we agreed.

If I have to say "what" one more time, heads are gonna roll!

Dr. Jackson

We have a time machine. We can go back and get the ZPM.

She wouldn't let me go back and watch the Cubs win the World Series.

Dr. Jackson

[excitedly] I can't believe I'm finally gonna prove that the Great Pyramids predate the 4th dynasty.

Lt. Col. Carter

So, what are you gonna do? Stand in the picture holding a newspaper with today's date?

Lt. Colonel Carter

Now, considering their unique ability to maintain an active Stargate indefinitely and their force field capabilities, the President has authorized any and all means to complete the mission.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Oh, boy. And here I was trying to have a nuke free career.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

How good is this? Got the band back together!

Lt. Colonel Carter

[looking at Vala] Yeah, so what's with the extra back-up singer?

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Oh, she's good fun.

Dr. Jackson

The next idea we come up with has to be outside the box.

Lt. Colonel Carter

Okay, the gate is composed of individual units. The—There must be some sort of energy linkage between them, like a—like a chain.

Vala

Exactly, so we—

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

So we need a big ol' set of bolt cutters.

Dr. Jackson

Oooh. Too far outside the box. Get closer to the box.

Lt. Colonel Carter

Huh. Maybe it wasn't our fault.

Dr. Jackson

I thought it was always our fault.

General Landry

Colonel Carter, I've read your proposal.

Lt. Colonel Carter

And?

General Landry

And I'm not exactly sure what an aneurysm feels like, but I suspect I'm pretty close.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Dr. Lee

Well, trying to achieve something as specific as isolating one small part of the brain is like...it's like... trying to...do something...that's impossible.

Lt. Colonel Carter

Good analogy.

General Landry

According to the mission report on your first encounter with Orlin, you two had an... "intimate" relationship?

Lt. Colonel Carter

Uh, well, we did. But, uh, he didn't look like that. He was…

Dr. Lam

Taller?

Lt. Colonel Carter

He was a grown man.

Dr. Jackson

Okay, say for example we accept the possibility that this is an alternate SG-1 from a… parallel universe. How did they get here?

Lt. Colonel Carter

I got nothing.

Lt. Colonel Carter

...yet.