South Park · Season 2, Episode 3
“Chickenlover” · Season 2, Episode 3
In this episode: Officer Barbarady (3), Eric Cartman (2), Kyle Broflovski (2), Stan Marsh (1), Randy Marsh (1), Mr. Garrison (1), Officer Barbrady (1), Mayor (1)
[Officer Barbarady, who is at the time illiterate, finds a note saying "another chicken gets it tomorrow." He is then asked what it says]
Oh, it says... "Sorry I had sex with the chicken! I won't do it again, bye-bye!" Well, there you have it, case closed.
Yes, at first I was happy to be learning how to read. It seemed exciting and magical, but then I read this: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I read every last word of its garbage, and because of this piece of shoot, I'm never reading again.
Hooray for Barbarady!
For my book report, I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. It was very, very good. Have you read it, Mr. Garrison?
No, I can't say I have.
Oh good. In The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, a bunch of hippies walk around and paint stuff. They eat lunch, and then they find a magical camel, which they have to eat to stay alive. And that's pretty much it. I give it a B-minus.
And I give you an F, Eric. Now sit down!
God damn it!!
The Chickenfucker struck again last night.
Oh, no!
Oh Mayor, please, when we're around children we prefer to call him the "Chicken Lover."
This time, he made love to Carla Weathers' prize chicken. She's catatonic.
Who? Carla Weathers or the chicken?
Uh...yes, officer?
I clocked you at 40 mph back there. Do you know what the speed limit is hey-ah?
Well, according to that sign right there, it's 40 mph.
Step out of the car, please, sir.
Wait a second. Aren't you Stan's little friend?
Sir, step out of the car, please.
Yeah. You're the one who always plugs up the toilet at our house.
Ey! I am a cop, and you will respect my authority!
Yeah, right. You better get back to school, little boy. [Cartman hits Randy's shin] Ow!
Get your ass to jail!
Ow! Hey, what the heck're you doing?! You can't do that! Ow! Ow!
Sweet.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
