Oh Sonny, try to stop yourself from falling in love with me, I beg you.
I'm just a small town girl with a big town dream, and meeting you was the biggest dream of all.
Okay, CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT!
It's okay Chad. She's helping me out.
Okay now Selena, remember your biggest dream is to be on So Random! Chad is just a monster who wakes you up! (glares at Chad) Oh and remember that you hate him! You just really, really hate him! [Chad glares at Sonny] Action. [walks off set]
Oh and one more thing! He is the worst actor of our generation!
BART![Bart comes out and gives Chad a megaphone] CUT! CUT! Stop the lying!
STOP! STOP BEING- STOP, JUST STOP IT!
Gosh I was wrong! You too should never be together!
Finally! I've been trying to tell her that all day!
You've been trying to tell her that? I've been trying to tell her that too!
Well I told her first. She thinks she some relationship wizard.
Yeah with her wizardly magic beans. Look if I want to like you [through megaphone] then I will.
Yeah and if I want to like you then [through megaphone] I will.
If I want to think you have pretty hair then I will.
And if I want to think you have sparkly eyes then I will.
[In Megaphone] Yes so take that Selena!
[In Megaphone] In your face Gomez! (bumps her fist with Chad's)
Wow. You guys got me. There's nothing going on around here at all! [Through megaphone] YOU TWO
Wait, wait! So you're leaving my movie?
Heh, I don't need this! I was in Camp Hiphop! [walks away]
Okay, bye Selena! It was nice working with you! Awww, she seems nice. I should call her.
Why? You're gonna become BFFs with Selena Gomez?
Pfft... It could happen! So... do you really think I have pretty hair?
I dunno... Do you really think I have sparkly eyes?
I dunno... Well one of them is.
So...you wanna be in my movie? I kind of need a Sonny.
Fine. I’ll set you up an audition. Nine o’clock?
(into the megaphone, quickly) Fine. You got the part.
Hey, hey. My movie's on. Aren't you going to watch it?
Shh, there's something better on.
TATV Announcer
We now return to Camp Hip-Hop starring Selena Gomez.
:[On TV] Hey, Mom. How do you know I can't dance? You gotta see my moves.
:[On TV] You've got to send me to Camp Hip-Hop. It's my dream.
Oh, this is better than my movie.
Hey Sonny what's the dilly?
The 'dilly' is Nico and Grady are stuck in a net. Everyone says they're in cahoots. You win; I'm tired with this paranoia. Just prank me and get it over with.
Sorry, Sonny I'm already doing a prank. It's called Tawni's fake audition. It was actually inspired by your audition. I guess that makes you Chad's little helper.
I'm Fashonita! That was perfect.
(laughing) Thanks for the idea Sonny.
Maple syrup? Really? Maple syrup?
Chad, I'm sorry after you did something nice just to be nice..
I know! Syruped and feathered my friend, but don't worry. I'm planning on returning the favor.
With a prank? And whatever I'm doing now is gonna be a hundred times worse than I planned to do before.
What did you plan to do before?
Well whatever it was, it was hundred times less worse than what I'm gonna do to you now!
Stop scaring us with math!
You know what would make this easier? If you would stop saying "E-e-e-e-e-e-easy G."
Hey. You guys made a house of cards.
No you're saying it wrong. It's (says it dully) "Wow you guys made a house of cards."
It's not a house, it's a fortress.
Everybody! Into the fortress! (jumps on the fortress of cards)
(hides under a table) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
It's my first Los Angeles earthquake! Which is exciting and TERRIFYING! This is me screaming in terror! (screams) And this is me getting under the table which is what you're suppose to do! EARTHQUAKE!!!!!
Calm down. Calm down everyone. It wasn't a quake. The studio is just doing some construction.
AHHH! CONSTRUCTION!!! just kidding just kidding
Finally! They're making some improvements around here. I guess somebody read the note I put in the demand box.
You mean the suggestion box?
Yes! They're building a weight room!
Even better! They're building a bait and tackle shop! Now I don't have to go downtown for my worms!
Not even close. Anybody else wanna guess?
Okay if a guillotine is closer then I don't want to guess anymore.
Okay okay! I'll tell ya! They're kicking you out of the prophouse!
You see, I took a horrible situation and turned it into a fun little game!
No! You didn't! You took something horrible and took forever to tell it!
You're right. Look I'll make this next part quick and I won't sing it to you like I planed,You have 24 hours to pack up your things and leave
Oh. It's a picture...of you.
Yeah but look how its signed.
'To my biggest fan: I'm sorry T.V.'s Chad Dylan Cooper' Aww. I'm touched! That's so sweet Chad! What did you get for Nico and Grady?
Oh that's easy. I let them take a ride on the forklift.
You did WHAT on the WHO NOW?
oh man, This ain't MacKenzie Falls.
(Sonny and Tawni when Hayden walks over.)
Well, you know what, that's okay coz he's on his way over.
What do you think he wants?!
(laughs) I don't know, but, just pretend he's a regular guy on the street!
Guy on the street, guy on the street, guy on the-
HHayden
Okay...Hey Sonny! (Sonny smiles awkwardly)
Maybe I should handle this! I'll figure out a way to get you guys together, okay?
Okay. (Sonny walks out of the room) Watch your purse!
(Sonny drops her phone into the sink and Tawni turns on the garbage disposal, causing Sonny's phone to dial Chad.)
(answering phone) Let me hear you say HEEEEEEEYYYYY!
(on phone) No! That's my phone! (the garbage disposal can be heard in the background)
Uh, you got some Chad on your shirt.
Oh thanks! (Sonny nods) Bib me!
(flirtatiously) So...Chad! (giggles) I-I need a favor.
You mean (takes out tickets) these?
Thanks Chad! (reaches for tickets)
Ah. (moves tickets out of Sonny's reach)Not so fast. I have these tickets because?
(smiles) You're the star of Mackenzie Falls, the number one tween show.
Oh! That's worth one! (hands her one) (Sonny nods)
and.. you have the best tasting sandwich in the whole cafeteria!
(fake gasps) Here's number two. (gives her the second ticket) You wanna go for three?
I won't. (Chad waves ticket is Sonny's face)
(muffled) You're..the greatest actor of our gener-ation....
(hands her the third ticket) Enjoy the game. (Sonny smiles at him)
