[Inside, Amy is tending to "Sonic", who is lying on a hammock.]
AmySonic, you rest here.
Eggman [in Sonic's body]: [with the hedgehog's voice] Yes, Amy dear. I won't move, for I am Sonic - heh - and this is my humble shack. [Amy walks to the exit, glances at Eggman, then leaves the shack. Eggman stands up afterwards.] Alright, don't freak out, play it cool. You're Sonic now. [laughs maniacally]
Amy
[reappears] Did you say something?
Uh, no! I was just thinking of something funny that red imbecile we both know said! [nervous chuckle]
Amy
You mean Knuckles?
Yes, "Nuffles", that's the guy! [Amy gives a puzzled look, but leaves again regardless.] This... is... delicious. With my genius mind and Sonic's speed, I'll finally be able to destroy those pesky rodents once and for all! Time for a test drive. [starts running in place and then speeds away, but ends up crashing into a wall] Ow… Uh, this might take some getting used to.
Did you see the look on his face when he ran off?
He looked ridiculous! Especially with that stupid mustache!
All right, Noodles. That's enough.
[Thumping is then heard which shakes the ground.]
Whoa. Did you guys feel that?
[The thumping continues and is soon revealed to be coming from the Mega knocking down trees and then arriving at the shack with Sonic, Orbot, Cubot and the other robots. Eggman and the others get into position, ready to fight.]
Remember, warning shots only. I don't want anyone hurt. Got it? [notices the robot's aren't listening] Well, what are you waiting for?
We are programmed only to obey orders after being threatened.
[realizes this and sighs] All right, then. Nobody gets hurt or somebody's gonna get hurt! (Better?)
OCOrbot and Cubot
Yes, sir!
[The robots begin to move forward and attack. Amy and the others begin to destroy the robots.]
Aw, come on! Do you have any idea how much those cost? I mean, between the parts and labor... [Amy destroys a robot with her hammer.] Aw, geez! [Knuckles and Sticks destroy a few robots.]
[Sonic tries to dodge the Mega, but it accidentally knocks him to the ground causing him to land on Eggman.]
He's gonna be feeling that tomorrow.
[2 Bee Bots circle around Sonic and Eggman.]
Amy
Hey, Eggman crushed Sonic!
[Tails stops short, seeing the Tailsmobile wedged between some rocks, the fan pointing upwards. Knuckles is sitting on top, in a bucket that's duct-taped to the fan, while Sonic is next to a battery, holding the jumper cables.]
Ha! Initiate "Spinning Blades of Death"!
"Spinning Blades of Death"? I guess that sounds safe.
[Sonic connects the jumper cables to the battery. The fan begins to spin, spinning Knuckles with it.]
Activating Hyper Mode. [flips a switch on the side of the battery. The fan starts spinning even faster]
[hears his Communicator beep] Oh. [activates it] Sonic here.
Amy
Sonic, did you return the book I lent you to the library?
[Knuckles goes flying off the fan in the background]
Amy
It's due today! If you don't return it on time, I'll have to pay late fees, Sonic!
[catches a chili dog with a body dive before it hits the sand] Oh, got it! That was almost the worst disaster imaginable. [eats the chili dog] Mmm…
[Team Sonic is having a baroque outside Sonic's Shack. Tails and Amy sit at the table while Sticks works the grill. Suddenly, Mirror Knuckles appears out of thin air]
Yargh! Kill it with fire!
Calm down, it's just Knuckles.
Oh. [shouting] Kill Knuckles with fire!
Amy
You were supposed to get hamburger buns.
In mid-battle? Sweet Amy, there will be time for your delicious burgers after we've defeated that dastardly deviant Eggman.
And impressive alliteration. You've been taking night classes?
Hey guys! [walks in, carrying a tray full of burger buns and looks at his Mirror doppelganger; they stare at each other] Who's the beefcake?
They really look alike. We need to figure out how to tell them apart.
Amy
I know. Our Knuckles can wear something to distinguish himself, but which one's our Knuckles?
Well, that depends. What does distinguish mean? [Amy runs off and returns with a blue party hat.] No way! I'm not wearing that!
I'd be honored to wear your ridiculous hat my dear. [puts the hat on]
Amy
Ahh...
He may look like Knuckles, but he sure doesn't talk like him.
Hey! I talked gooder than you.
[thinking] There's a perfectly rational explanation for this. [Everyone looks and listens to Tails, but after a long wait, he shrugs.] I just haven't figured it out yet. [Everyone groans at Tails.]
Worry not, young Tails. Be diligent. In time, the answer will seek you.
Whoa. I sound like a fortune cookie! [tries to eat his right arm] Yeah, but I don't taste like one.
There's only one person smart enough to unravel this enigma.
Imagine the look on Sonic's face when he sees I have Knuckles trapped. [hears the wall being barged open]
You don't have to imagine, Egghead. Cuz here I am!
That was a bit of a letdown. I was expecting a bigger reaction, maybe shocked, outraged, perhaps even a little ennui. Anywho, Motobugs, attack!
[A group of Motobugs charge at Team Sonic. Sonic spin attacks a Motobug. Mirror Knuckles watches the debris fly across the room and into the hole in the wall.]
Look who broke down the wall. The non-aggressors.
[punches another Motobug] Dude, this is more of a rescue than an attack!
Excuses are easy to manufacture, but hard to sell.
Why is Knuckles talking like a fortune cookie?
Amy
That's (because it's) not Knuckles, it's his double from another dimension.
Oh. That explains the hat, so you can tell them apart. Great idea.
Amy
Thank [hammers a Motobug] you.
Wait a minute. There are multiple Knuckles in this dimension? That could cause some kind of catastrophic anomaly. I do not want a dimensional explosion in my lab. I just had the floors waxed. [releases Mirror Knuckles from the trapping cage and Mirror Knuckles flickers] Well, what are you waiting for? Get him out of here! (And why is his counterpart here anyway?)
Well, actually, the reason Alternate Dimension Knuckles is here is because Alternate Dimension Eggman (which is your dimensional counterpart) shot him with lasers from Alternate Dimension Octopusbot.
That is so Alternate Dimension me!
Is there any chance we can borrow your laser to send this guy back where he came from and prevent the destruction of pretty much everything?
[chuckling] Sure! You should have just asked me in the first place! Oh, but I'll need it back by Thursday.
What happens on Thursday?
I'm gonna attack your– Uh, um, I'm having a party. [Sticks makes "I'm watching you" gesture at him]
[Knuckles' flashback]
Hi. I'm Sonic the Hedgehog.
Never heard of you. [notices Knuckles walking up to them still in his blue naval cap. The wind blows through his dreadlocks] ...But who's your friend? [walks over to Knuckles pushing Sonic aside]
I'm just a humble echidna… which is why I won't brag about my boyish charm, unimaginable strength, and ability to think real good. You know, smartnesswise.
[struggles to pick up Perci's broken bicycle, just before Knuckles picks it up over his head using only one arm] Wha...?!
Wow. Muscles and brain smartness.
I know. [Sonic falls] Medic! Splint up this pretty lady's arm!
Amy
I hope I can live up to your expectations, Captain Knuckles. [puts the splint on her leg instead of her arm]
Oh ho, Amy. You forgotten what an arm is. This is an arm. [flexes his left arm]
Wow. You are the whole package.
And here's the gift-wrapping. [starts flexing his arms. Amy sighs dreamily]
[Sonic flexes his arms too and ends up leaning on Perci's broken bicycle, causing it to fall in the mud, splashing Amy and Perci. Sonic gasps.]
Sonic, You clumsy oaf! Perpetual second banana! Look what you've done! [to Perci] Come, my lady! We must go to Casa Del Tails to repair your bicicleta before Sonic does any further damage. [takes Perci's arm leaving Amy angry and the 4 head over to Tails' workshop with Sonic behind them]
[whiny voice] Come on, guys! Wait for meeeeeee!
[The keep walking just before Sticks pops up.]
Hey, be careful of that alien! She'll abduct our livestock, phone home from our houses, and turn us all into pie people! She's... a goodful! A goodful! [runs off screaming]
[to Perci] Don't pay attention to her. She's actually very nice. [Sonic fixes the bike with a wielding laser and suddenly burns his finger at Tails' Workshop (flashback). He screams in pain and starts blowing on it.] Sonic, can't you do anything right? [to Perci] Your scarf will look brand new, but it'll never look as lovely as its owner.
[Perci blushes. Knuckles puts the scarf in the kiln. Meanwhile, Amy struggles with a heating pad.]
Amy
How does this heating pad work? Mmm. [throws the heating pad on a pile of newspapers]
A pillow for my maiden fan?
Amy
Hey, I'm the medic! I'll give her the pillow!
I want to give her the pillow, so I could be more like my hero - Knuckles. [he and Amy fight over the pillow when suddenly a fire starts]
[Sonic jumps in Amy's arms scared. Knuckes uses his ice breath to put the fire out. Perci leans against his arm,]
[Amy's flashback]
[Southern Belle accent] I've seem to have fallen from my bicycle and injured my little old arm. If only there was some heroic gentleman who would rescue poor little me.
[he and Knuckles stare at Perci all lovey-dovey and chuckling] You're pretty.
[Southern accent] Would one of you handsome young men kindly retrieve my bicycle?
[Sonic and Knuckles giddily run over to do so. Amy crosses her arms, unimpressed. Sonic and Knuckles are fighting over the pieces of the bicycle, when they suddenly fall over. The pieces of the bicycle fall into the mud, splashing it over Perci's scarf.]
Amy
[voiceover] Even with my friends under the spell of a wicked siren, I selflessly administered medical care to the foul temptress. [to Perci] Oh, you poor sweet thing! Allow me to tend to your wounds. [binds Perci's arm in a sling, which sparkles] Now, let's see to your bicycle. I know where to get it fixed!
[The four of them walk towards Tails' workshop, with Knuckles carrying the bicycle pieces. Sticks suddenly runs up]
Watch out for that government agent! It starts with jury duty, and zoning ordinances, and before you know it, boom! Our tax dollars are benefiting others, and not us!
Amy
Don't pay attention to her. She's actually very nice. [Sticks runs away screaming]
[at Tails' Workshop (flashback)]
Amy
[holding Perci's scarf] Sweetie, you rest here. I'll get a heating pad to make you more comfortable. Knuckles, will you please clean this scarf? [Knuckles reaches in and grabs the scarf] And Sonic… [Sonic stands to attention] …maybe it'd be best to just wait for Tails.
No way! I can totally fix this! [darts over to Perci] Watch this, babe. [runs back over to the bike, and picks up a welding mask and laser. He puts on the mask, but drops the laser] Ahh...
[Southern accent] My poor little arm is achin' so. If only I had a cushion on which to rest it.
[Knuckles, who is washing Perci's scarf in the background, runs to get a pillow. Sonic looks up from his welding, seeing this, and drops the still-active laser and runs over and fights with Knuckles over the pillow.]
She wants me to give it to her!
[Smoke rises, followed by flames. Sonic and Knuckles see this, drop the pillow, and panic. Amy grabs a fire extinguisher and puts out the fire.]
[Perci's flashback]
[voiceover] I had a minor accident with my bicycle, when… [Sonic sees Perci and runs over]
Hi, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog. Hero extraordinaire.
You don't happen to have a wrench or some tools I can use to fix my bike?
No, but maybe I can interest you in some "gift-wrapping"?
Don't worry. I can fix your bike. [runs to it]
Amy
You're just loving this, aren't you? Having men fight over you? A modern woman can take care of herself.
I can take care of myself, but like I said, "I don't have any tools" and I hurt my arm.
Amy
I suppose you need me to bandage that up for you.
Nah, just a bruise. [Amy growls, but wraps Perci's arm in a sling. Sonic and Knuckles are fighting over the pieces of the bike, when they suddenly fall. The bike pieces drop into the mud, splashing it over Perci.] Look, I need to get moving. Do you know where I can find some tools? [As the group walks towards Tails' Workshop, Sticks runs up with a yell.] Nice to meet you. [Sticks runs away screaming. Sonic, Knuckles and Amy hold each other in the background, shaking.] She seems nice.
[At Tails Workshop (flashback), Perci is about to use the welding laser to fix her bike, but Sonic cuts in.]
Allow me. You just sit back and relax, while Sonic saves the day.
Okay, I'll just wash my scarf.
[grabs Perci's scarf] Please, the honor is all mine. [starts washing it]
Well then, I'll just rest my arm.
Amy
All right, all right. I'll get you a heating pad. Talk about a drama queen.
[puts Perci's scarf in the kiln] Would you like a pillow?
[looks up from his welding] No, I'll give Perci a pillow! [runs over, dropping the welding laser, which ignites]
Amy
Oh, now the princess wants a pillow. [tosses the heating pad onto a pile of newspapers]
Let’s see that lunch money.
Charlie, as things aren’t going well between you and I, I have decided to enlist the help of a local police officer to act as a go-between. I think his experience in dealing with tense situations will proof valuable to both of us. [Charlie reaches out his hand, the frightened the Beaver Policeman drops his money in it and leaves. Charlie reaches out once more and Knuckles drops his money too. Charlie is sitting in his armor, Knuckles sneaks up to him] Charlie is not letting up, but I can’t go back to being counter productive, so I’ll take the high road and stay out of his way until he cools off. [Charlie notices him, takes a huge ice cream and smashes it onto Knuckles] I figured it out! All Charlie really wants is a friend. Yeah, he is practically crying out to me for help! [reaches to Charlie] Hello, pal! I baked you this pie! Perhaps we can see a movie together and/or enjoy a frosted beverage.
[grabs the pie and smashed it into Knuckles’ face, then grabs him and throws him into a dustbin] See the wrath of my super villain powers! [Knuckles falls screaming and stops in front of Sonic, Tails and Amy]
Great news, Knuckles! I think Charlie just let you off the hook.
Knuckles': Really? Because from my perspective, it didn’t go so well.
No, what Tails means is that Charlie just called himself a super villain.
Amy
[looks into Counter Productive] Page 235 of Counter Productive - "If the person you’re trying to make up to turns into a super villain, you can forget all that stuff I said about fixing your past mistakes. In that case, knock yourself out."
I know what I have to do now!
(At Hedgehog Village, Sonic wakes up from rubble caused by a damaged wall.)
Ugh.... What happened? I haven't felt this horrible ever since I've seen Comedy Chimp's swimsuit calendar. (shudders) November.
(Sonic gets up, seeing himself wearing a vest.)
And why do I look like a discount-bin action figure?
(At Tails's workshop...)
Okay, guys. I'll be the first to admit that my speed-boost experiments were a tad inconclusive.
Does "inconclusive" mean the same as "hilarious"?
Well, you know what they say: no pain, no gain.
(sarcastically) I'm sorry this was painful for you, Tails.
It's okay. Besides, without your broken ribs, I never would've invented this, (reveals a vest and control panel) my Ultra-Sonic Speed Amplifier!
[beat]
(The gang gives Tails a lukewarm applause.)
Spare me your halfhearted applause. Once you see what this baby can do, your applause will be at least three-quarter-hearted!
(Tails puts the vest on Sonic)
So, if I wear this thing for six weeks, will my ribs heal properly?
No. This control panel will deliver amplification signals into your chest plate, allowing you to reach unparalleled speeds, all using state-of-the-art blast-processing technology!
"Blast-processing technology"? Those are just phony-baloney buzzwords to fool the simple-minded!
Blast-processing technology?? Oh, gimme, gimme, gimme!
Seriously!? After all you put me through this morning...absolutely!!
(Tails activates the panel, sending Sonic dashing off, faster than usual.)
(via com unit) How are you feeling, Sonic?
Like a hummingbird on his third espresso! Tails, you're a genius! How about a little more juice?
(Back at the workshop, Tails takes a sip from a juice box.)
And I'll up the levels, too.
(Tails increases the power level, increasing Sonic's speed.)
(Tails increases the levels again, making Sonic fast enough to even jump over the crater!)
Uh, I don't think we should--
(With Sonic's speed increased even further, he runs back to the lab. He dashes around Knuckles, tapping his shoulder to fool him.)
It wasn't me. It was him!
(Sonic dashes again, this time generating an illusory clone waving casually.)
Amy
He's going so fast, he's appearing in two places at once!
But we could always go faster! Tails, crank it!!!
(Sonic begins running out of the lab and toward the village.)
I really think we should do more tests before we push the--
Think, Sonic -- how did this happen...? Must've been Eggman.
Sonic: Did you miss me? (Destroys a Badnik)
Well, this whole plan kinda hinged on your absence, so, no, not really.
Sonic Boom · 106 quotes
