(At Hedgehog Village, Sonic wakes up from rubble caused by a damaged wall.)
Ugh.... What happened? I haven't felt this horrible ever since I've seen Comedy Chimp's swimsuit calendar. (shudders) November.
(Sonic gets up, seeing himself wearing a vest.)
And why do I look like a discount-bin action figure?
(At Tails's workshop...)
Okay, guys. I'll be the first to admit that my speed-boost experiments were a tad inconclusive.
Does "inconclusive" mean the same as "hilarious"?
Well, you know what they say: no pain, no gain.
(sarcastically) I'm sorry this was painful for you, Tails.
It's okay. Besides, without your broken ribs, I never would've invented this, (reveals a vest and control panel) my Ultra-Sonic Speed Amplifier!
[beat]
(The gang gives Tails a lukewarm applause.)
Spare me your halfhearted applause. Once you see what this baby can do, your applause will be at least three-quarter-hearted!
(Tails puts the vest on Sonic)
So, if I wear this thing for six weeks, will my ribs heal properly?
No. This control panel will deliver amplification signals into your chest plate, allowing you to reach unparalleled speeds, all using state-of-the-art blast-processing technology!
"Blast-processing technology"? Those are just phony-baloney buzzwords to fool the simple-minded!
Blast-processing technology?? Oh, gimme, gimme, gimme!
Ready to go, Sonic?
Seriously!? After all you put me through this morning...absolutely!!
(Tails activates the panel, sending Sonic dashing off, faster than usual.)
Wow! It works!
(via com unit) How are you feeling, Sonic?
Like a hummingbird on his third espresso! Tails, you're a genius! How about a little more juice?
You got it!
(Back at the workshop, Tails takes a sip from a juice box.)
And I'll up the levels, too.
(Tails increases the power level, increasing Sonic's speed.)
Woo! Faster!
(Tails increases the levels again, making Sonic fast enough to even jump over the crater!)
(yelling) FASTER!!
Uh, I don't think we should--
FASTER!!!!
(With Sonic's speed increased even further, he runs back to the lab. He dashes around Knuckles, tapping his shoulder to fool him.)
I know that was you.
It wasn't me. It was him!
(Sonic dashes again, this time generating an illusory clone waving casually.)
But him is you.
He's going so fast, he's appearing in two places at once!
But we could always go faster! Tails, crank it!!!
(Sonic begins running out of the lab and toward the village.)
I really think we should do more tests before we push the--
DO IT!!!!!
Think, Sonic -- how did this happen...? Must've been Eggman.
Sonic: Did you miss me? (Destroys a Badnik)
Well, this whole plan kinda hinged on your absence, so, no, not really.
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